Two part question: Christmas Day and gifts?

orangegoggles · November 2013

This is a two part question.

1. Do you have anyone over your house Christmas morning when LO(s) are opening their gifts from Santa or do you do it with just your immediate family and meet up with others after?

I'm hoping to spend the early with just me, DH, and DS but I'm not sure how that will go over with the grandparents, especially my in-laws. I don't mind people coming over later in the morning but I want the early morning to just be us. I haven't asked DH yet but I'm assuming he will be indifferent as things like that don't bother him.

2. Do you have grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. that go WAY overboard with gifts? What do you do about it (if anything?)

My MIL goes grossly overboard. I know it sounds ungrateful but it is ridiculous. A lot of my friends don't understand what the big deal because we're getting gifts but if you saw the amount, you would be shocked. I am also taking about pre-DS days too so I'm freaking out about what will happen now that he is here. I have tried talking to her about it in the past and my H did too but she doesn't listen. The thing is, she just gets us lots of random things and really enjoys the shopping process so just one or two items or gift cards are out. Lsat year I was in labor and miserable and she came over with all her presents. My house was trashed with random presents that needed to be put away and stored (somewhere?!) while I left for the hospital. She buys DS so much stuff throughout the year I have no idea what she will do. His birthday is also the day after xmas, ffs. I usually spend a few days organizing and deciding what to keep (oh and there are usually never any receipts) but most importantly I don't want DS to turn into an ungrateful, spoiled kid. Any advice on how to approach this without sounding like an ungrateful biotch?

melly918 · November 2013

OMG, we must have the same MIL. Mine buys stuff every time she sees the kids and sends packages in the mail for various holidays. We have more stuff than we need. I tried to tell her to keep toys at her house so the kids have things to play there. She has loads of new toys and games there and STILL gives my kids stuff even when it isn't their b-day or holiday. If I give her a list of gift ideas, she gets everything on the list when I only intended for her to get one or two things. Every year they get the boys the collector's item toy from Hess gas store on top of gifts we suggested so even if I give her 1 item as a suggestion, she'll get more presents. Now that I have a girl, it's gonna be awful with the American Girl crap. If Ds starts liking something new, my ILs go crazy buying that thing. I can't win.

About Christmas, we like to be home with our kids and have them come downstairs to see presents under the tree. It is just the four of us. After that, we go to family gatherings. If you wish to do the same, make it clear now that Christmas morning is for your immediate family and make plans with everyone for later in the day. GL. The holidays can be stressful but fun!

martinimomma · November 2013

We'll do Christmas morning stuff by ourselves. My parents would not want to haul over twice in one day (they come over for dinner that day) and DH's relatives are in another state. We're lucky that way.

Regarding gifts, I hope someone has an idea. We are still reeling from the over generous gifts DS got for his bday and that DD received after her birth. DH's family and some of mine do not give gift receipts and often even remove tag from new clothing items...we have a shelf of new toys in the basement that we haven't even taken out of the packaging yet from this birthday and I am petrified about Christmas.

I've asked before and will again that people buy him books (and DD too, now) but expect they will ignore me again. Grrr.

orangegoggles · November 2013

RachaelA said:

We do just us except for DD's first Christmas because my BIL and his family were in town at my parents and it was also my niece's first Christmas. Honestly, who cares if it goes over well with them. They don't get a choice or a say in the matter. If they ask what you are doing, you say that you are staying home with the 3 of you that morning. Don't leave it up for discussion. Don't make it a question. Don't ask if its okay.

My MIL goes overboard (will buy DD1's entire amazon wishlist EXCEPT the books.) DH basically told her that Christmas isn't going to be huge like it was when he was a kid. And he told her she needed to get over it and if she went overboard that DD just wasn't going to open all the gifts (at that age she obviously didn't know).

And my MIL doesn't like that we only give her a list with 2ish things on it for us. SHe always asks for more and DH flat out says "No. We discussed this with you." and then changes the subject.

My MIL seriously would like Christmas present opening to last 4+ hours. Its ridiculous.

Good points, I guess it is our decision lol.

I totally agree about the gift thing...I know you cannot dictate how people spend their money but it is beyond ridiculous. I'd really like to donate some of the stuff to kids in need and will likely do that if she goes overboard. She buys him so much stuff that its going to become a problem if I don't put a stop to it now. Also, with his birthday and xmas a day apart...the kid will be spoiled and overun with gifts regardless, we don't have to make it worse!

martinimomma · November 2013

Re: donating excess gifts -- I saved a few of last years Christmas gifts and DS birthday gifts in a bin to donate to toys for tots this year.

orangegoggles · November 2013

martinimomma said:

We'll do Christmas morning stuff by ourselves. My parents would not want to haul over twice in one day (they come over for dinner that day) and DH's relatives are in another state. We're lucky that way. Regarding gifts, I hope someone has an idea. We are still reeling from the over generous gifts DS got for his bday and that DD received after her birth. DH's family and some of mine do not give gift receipts and often even remove tag from new clothing items...we have a shelf of new toys in the basement that we haven't even taken out of the packaging yet from this birthday and I am petrified about Christmas. I've asked before and will again that people buy him books (and DD too, now) but expect they will ignore me again. Grrr.

I love to buy books for kids (maybe its the teacher in me) but so many people don't. Kids LOVE books, I don't understand why people think that if its not a toy, kids won't like it as a present. Every child I have bought a book for loved it, but maybe I just know the best books to buy

orangegoggles · November 2013

melly918 said:

OMG, we must have the same MIL. Mine buys stuff every time she sees the kids and sends packages in the mail for various holidays. We have more stuff than we need. I tried to tell her to keep toys at her house so the kids have things to play there. She has loads of new toys and games there and STILL gives my kids stuff even when it isn't their b-day or holiday. If I give her a list of gift ideas, she gets everything on the list when I only intended for her to get one or two things. Every year they get the boys the collector's item toy from Hess gas store on top of gifts we suggested so even if I give her 1 item as a suggestion, she'll get more presents. Now that I have a girl, it's gonna be awful with the American Girl crap. If Ds starts liking something new, my ILs go crazy buying that thing. I can't win.

About Christmas, we like to be home with our kids and have them come downstairs to see presents under the tree. It is just the four of us. After that, we go to family gatherings. If you wish to do the same, make it clear now that Christmas morning is for your immediate family and make plans with everyone for later in the day. GL. The holidays can be stressful but fun!

Yes- that sounds exactly like her!

I think I have to make sure we set it in stone now before it becomes assumed.

csspencer · November 2013

Growing up my dad's parents would come over while did the whole Santa thing, I don't think they stopped coming over until I got married, but I'm not sure as DH and I do Christmas morning alone. DH and I decided we would do our gifts to each other after Christmas Eve service, then get up, showered and head over to my parents. Now that DS is here, I have no clue what we are doing this year. I'm kind of hoping my parents stay home and we can just do gifts alone, and then head over to my parents. Luckily my in-laws are out of town.
I swear your MIL and mine could be the same person. She got pissed this weekend because DS didn't wear the sleeper she got him for Halloween. It didn't fit, she didn't give us a gift receipt, took the tags off and ignored us when we told her, before Halloween, that he had outgrown newborn stuff. She feels the need to send way too much, she forgets that he has grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles that would also like to buy stuff for him. She doesn't believe in giving a child savings bonds, and won't take no for an answer. I'm dreading Christmas...and I have no clue how to approach the situation.

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