Preemies

co-sleeping

I live in an area that is "hippy" ish for lack of a better term. I don't mind the healthy lifestyle, all the bikes and promotion of breast feeding but one trend that I see rising is co-sleeping. I'm part of an area group on facebook and everyone talks about how great it is. The only thing I can think is how dangerous it is. The hospital even took great lengths to talk to all the preemie parents about how dangerous it is and how half of the SIDS deaths in the area are linked to co-sleeping. When I posted this on the page everyone went after me. Am I crazy? Is co-sleeping the new norm? It just seems crazy to me when they talk about their children falling out of bed and how they pushed the bed against the wall to make it safe and bought bed rails to make it safe. What do you ladies think?

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Re: co-sleeping

  • I agree with you. I would never allow our daughter to sleep with us. However knowing a lot of people who do I know they use the cozy-sleeper thing the baby goes in for the bed. I guess to each their own but I almost lost my baby once, I am not going to risk it. She is next to our bed in a RnP. It's like the women on TB (here) if you disagree with their way they just attack or act like your an idiot.
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  • We kept dd in a bassinet until she outgrew it, but there were 2 occasions that she slept on my chest while I laid in the bed. I didnt actually sleep those nights until she got up with dh though so idk if that really counts as co sleeping. The first time was after a severe reflux/choking episode that her monitor didnt alarm for, and all I could think about was what would have happened if I hadnt been right there when the episode occured, the second was when her monitor completely broke and we had to wait til the next day for the replacement. I was too stressed and worried to actually sleep either time so I really dont know if either applies here.
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  • @rslhmg I don't count that as you weren't sleeping. I also don't count the bed things that are designed for babies. These are parents who just lay their baby in between them at night. I think we as preemie moms have a different view. We watched our babies struggle just to live. We are more cautious and really who wouldn't be? I guess it angers me to watch parents say my baby doesn't like a crib. There are other options like the r- n-p, our baby sleeps in a pack-n-play. They take the whole it won't happen to me approach. I guess when you watch your baby struggle to breath, it won't happen to me just doesn't seem good enough.

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  • I agree. The risk is too high. When he first came home from the NICU, he slept in a bassinet right next to our bed. And then we moved it into his room with the monitor. He would sometimes get fussy so I would go get him and lay him on my chest and lay down on the couch but I couldn't sleep even then. I know people that do though. And that's fine. I just don't think its right for us. He has three different things he can sleep in and he's fine with all of them. Once he outgrows them, we will get him a crib.
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  • We were warned about the dangers in our required Nicu classes as well as stories of babies who had died. One specifically who had been injured the evening they were released and ultimately died.  People I know fam or friends have co slept and see nothing wrong but I worry.  I work for a law enforcement agency with police reports and have seen too many babies/children  who've become wedged along beds/walls, suffocated, strangled by blind cords, fallen out of windows,  etc in noncriminal incidents so I'm highly paranoid about dangers.  Since she ws born prematurely we didn't have crib yet so once released she slept in bassinet portion of play yard and finally crib with one of us mainly me sleeping on the uncomfy couch in her room to be near her..  I did use a co-sleeping bassinet on mattress for a short time due to her reflux , hubby moved to couch, I could watch her breathing and kept distance so my blanket wouldn't be near her.but those only last short while as they grow/squirm  .I still wake up freaking out that I've fallen asleep with her and grab my body searching for her checking the covers only to realize she's in her crib or play yard bassinet. 
  • My son slept in our room in the PNP or his rocker for the first 6 months. He was 4lbs when he came home and he seemed way too tiny to even think of having him in the bed with me. I EBF though so it was important to have him close by. Plus I worried about him so much and it helped to be able to see him. I am a deep sleeper so I wouldn't trust myself to have a baby in the bed. A few times when I would nurse him in the bed I feel asleep with him on my chest. When I would wake up I was always freaking out making sure he was still ok. 
    I think there can be safer ways to bed share, but with a preemie I personally never would. 
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  • rslhmgrslhmg member
    edited November 2013
    LeLe9 said:

    I still wake up freaking out that I've fallen asleep with her and grab my body searching for her checking the covers only to realize she's in her crib or play yard bassinet. 

    This reminded me a time I fell asleep after putting dd in her bassinet, we discovered pretty quickly that the easiest way to get her to sleep and in her bed was by laying on ours and patting her gently and then putting her in the bassinet when she fell asleep, tried it on the couch and she would wake up walking to our room every time. One night I fell asleep almost immediately after getting her into her bed and when DH got in our bed I woke up and panicked. I thought he had laid on her even though she was on her bassinet. I was so tired that it took him a few times telling me she was in her bed where she was supposed to be for me to remember putting her there before I went to bed myself.
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  • I wasn't going to co-sleep to begin with but I cannot imagine with a preemie.  I can't even nap next to DS and he is almost 17 months old... I wouldn't get a good nights sleep at all with him in bed! 
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