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Best SN early learning tools - tech vs "old school"

mightmom13mightmom13 member
in Special Needs

I have been, though I hate to admit it, thinking about Christmas and what to get DD (will be around 2.5 at Christmas. I do something I want, something I need, something to wear, and something to read - to make things simple and budget and not to teach greed, etc. So I thought I would either fix up my little bit older laptop, I have a monitor, and get a kid friendly keyboard/mouse and install some learning games on it OR go the Leap Reader route for reading and writing. She is great at apps on my iPhone (Endless Alphabet and Monkey Preschool Lunchbox) and I have a longer term plan to save for an iPad the next year. I have heard that kids can master the computer/typing it can do wonders.

However, I also have concern that I should have her learn writing the old fashioned way with writing tools, reading tools (though lots more time on my part with that - no biggie just saying - also it is tough to get her to do things together), and puzzles. I am struggling with where education is going and if the basics will still be around as much in school. I know she needs to learn the basics, but could technology help her along with fine motor in learning so as well as attention span with learning to read.

Any thoughts on what developmental pre-schools do (we may be there in less than a year)? A mix of both? WDYT? 

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Re: Best SN early learning tools - tech vs "old school"

  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    I've talked to my neuro about the iPads so ill relay what he told me. He said iPads can be helpful for things like serving as an AAC for a nonverbal kid or helping to practice artic with a verbal kid. In terms of improving attention span and fine motor skills, you're better off with old school toys. He said the skills learned on an iPad don't tend to generalize. At 2.5 you're a long way away from learning to read. By the time she's ready for that, her attention span will likely have improved. If you're working on fine motor, I'd get her some puzzles and large lacing beads.
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  • typesettypeset member
    We have avoided tech as much as possible to encourage more interaction with us, build hand skills, and increase flexibility around play. He has to be able to learn from people to be successful long-term. 
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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    To build on Auntie's point about indulging at Christmas not translating to greed, my ILs seriously go overboard at Christmas.  They are very frugal people, but they love to go all out for the kids.  One year, before DD2 was born they brought DD1 a present for every day in December leading up to Christmas.  My entire laundry room was filled with presents for her.  It was definitely overboard, but it made them happy, so I went along because they do a lot for us. 

    The other night, we were talking about Christmas lists because the grandmas are already asking for them.  DD1 said, "you know Mom, Christmas isn't really about presents--it's about love."

    The girls know we donate to Toys for Tots, and they like to help me pick things out.  They have no problem handing down toys to their cousins and friends.  I totally understanding having a budget that you need to stick to, but Auntie is right, you teach character daily.

    The single biggest thing you can do to help your child learn to read is to read to her.  Find books that she likes and enjoy them with her.  Encourage a love of and respect for books.

    Also, your DD is way too young to worry about writing.  If she likes to scribble, get her some art supplies.  Both of my DD's love painting, playdoh, drawing on a magnadoodle.
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  • mightmom13mightmom13 member
    -auntie- said:
    mightmom13 said:

    I have been, though I hate to admit it, thinking about Christmas and what to get DD (will be around 2.5 at Christmas. I do something I want, something I need, something to wear, and something to read - to make things simple and budget and not to teach greed, etc.

    First. I have to be upfront and share my UO- I am not a fan of this little ditty. Why does it have to rhyme anyway? Why does everyone on the bump require a cute saying for all occasions. 

    IME, parents of kids with special needs spend too much time acting as therapists and advocates, Christmas is an excuse to just enjoy your child ad savor a little uncomplicated joy like everybody else. At Christmas, I treat my son as I would anyone I love- I shop with an eye toward what would delight him rather than what would improve him. 

    I got it from a blog, not here - I am only on this board on the bump - the others make me....uneasy. Anyways, I chose to do that because every Christmas, we would have our list and my dad would say, it's not going to be a big Christmas this year. I would have anxiety over this, not because I wouldn't get my gift of choice, but because I thought this meant we were having money problems going back to when I was 7. However, it seemed we always did get what we asked for - I don't know if I will be able to do that; hence a rhyme to help always have the same lower budget Christmas in case of those years I really can't do much at all. So, it's kind of like the opposite of your husband I guess - I don't want her to ever worry/be anxious there is a problem because of a gift issue in our family of two.

    In a way, choosing gifts is the ultimate exercise in Theory of Mind. How well can you enter a person's head and find the thing that makes them feel loved and validated to say nothing of making them happy. To that end, I did not buy clothes for DS unless it was something really special to him- like the Grumpy Cat shirt he got last year. My niece would be happy with all clothes and a stocking full of high end hair products. Know your audience. 

    More on this below, but because of her lack of interest in her things at home, unless she finds a way to be compulsive with it (lining the books, taking off and putting on fake jewelry then in and out of the box, etc) - I have no idea what my audience is and it's my own kid.

    I don't believe indulging a child with material things necessarily translates to greed. I know lots of adults who are materially rich who are devote themselves to others in their community. My own DH didn't have much growing up and has lavished DS with stuff growing up. TBH, it annoyed the crap out of me, but it was healing for DH and didn't "spoil" DS at all. You teacher children character daily, not just at Christmas.

    I get that, and a good reminder. Though there are times I loathe it, really really loathe it - trying to set the best example but I also realize it won't be perfect, it won't make her not judgmental in the future of my ways (just as I am of my folks parenting at times), but pray it will help her be a good person.

    Most toys have some therapeutic benefits anyway, and a 2 1/2 will be happy with most toys. 

    This is my public enemy #1 - she is not a toy fan, nor books, never has been. So when she took to "app time" so well, then mastered them, did them and wanted to do them independently - it made me feel like I found something. So I think I just need to let go of that app grasp, and see if she really does like trains like at the library or see if it is just because we don't have them at home.

    So I thought I would either fix up my little bit older laptop, I have a monitor, and get a kid friendly keyboard/mouse and install some learning games on it OR go the Leap Reader route for reading and writing. She is great at apps on my iPhone (Endless Alphabet and Monkey Preschool Lunchbox) and I have a longer term plan to save for an iPad the next year. I have heard that kids can master the computer/typing it can do wonders.

    Most of the people I know have kids on spectrum or with significant ASD traits so I'll speak to that. To that end, many of the psychs and dev pedis I know actively discourage the gifting of electronic toys- if you need to plug it in, recharge it or buy batteries for it, it's best to leave it until the child is closer to 8. 

    Electronics can be a double edged sword for this kind of kid. It plays to their visual strengths which can interfere with their auditory processing skill development. They can be very compelling to play with and can be addictive which can exacerbate already shaky interaction skills when a child prefers a screen to a peer. DS's dev pedi and psych both suggest limiting screens to 30 minutes a day for a preschool aged child and an hour for 5+.

    This is less than my pedi recommended, but not a dev pedi - arg we need to get in there again eventually. But good to note. She gets maybe 1 hour a day on mommy days, overload on grandparent days. Such  double edge sword - anything besides the screen, including play MUST be done with mommy sitting right by her (don't get me wrong, I interact like a boss, but she is having huge separation anxiety issues that have resurfaced) - this is a behavior (per demanding not requesting) that will be addressed.....after we get the cycling  little more under control. Also - she masters the learning, but has major auditory issues as well which may be masking some skill v instant hear and repeat even at later intervals.

    However, I also have concern that I should have her learn writing the old fashioned way with writing tools, reading tools (though lots more time on my part with that - no biggie just saying - also it is tough to get her to do things together), and puzzles. I am struggling with where education is going and if the basics will still be around as much in school. I know she needs to learn the basics, but could technology help her along with fine motor in learning so as well as attention span with learning to read.

    Any thoughts on what developmental pre-schools do (we may be there in less than a year)? A mix of both? WDYT? 

    I think you should stop worrying about academic skills like reading and writing in the context of Christmas. Take this as a chance to just be a mom and buy her things she can play with and that you can enjoy with her. Instead of thinking about what skills she needs to learn, think about what she likes to do. 

    I may try some trains -  think we can check some out at the library - and other things to see WHAT she likes that is age appropriate, otherwise a cooking specialty store would meet all her shopping needs. I guess that I what I was trying to do with the tech - give her what she wants and just be a mom. Having the annual eval this week didn't help the issue as far as that goes either.


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  • mightmom13mightmom13 member
    mrszee2b said:
    To build on Auntie's point about indulging at Christmas not translating to greed, my ILs seriously go overboard at Christmas.  They are very frugal people, but they love to go all out for the kids.  One year, before DD2 was born they brought DD1 a present for every day in December leading up to Christmas.  My entire laundry room was filled with presents for her.  It was definitely overboard, but it made them happy, so I went along because they do a lot for us. 

    The other night, we were talking about Christmas lists because the grandmas are already asking for them.  DD1 said, "you know Mom, Christmas isn't really about presents--it's about love."
    That is great and what I am trying to get at, besides the whole baby Jesus thing, with her and her character. She is overloaded with gifts as well, so I ask for clothes to help me get her clothed for the following months - but you know family - they are SUPER about sticking to lists (read major sarcasm). :P

    The girls know we donate to Toys for Tots, and they like to help me pick things out.  They have no problem handing down toys to their cousins and friends.  I totally understanding having a budget that you need to stick to, but Auntie is right, you teach character daily.
     
    I do agree with you and Auntie - we are going to go through her things together and find what we can give away with special notes from our "passage book" to other kids. She has a great heart, so I just am scared I think of others' tarnishing it with other seasonal stuff - like my mom saying "here circle your wants" in the Big Toy Book - rather than the other stuff such as love and what not. Commercialism seems to be starting earlier and earlier. Single mom guilt I guess as far as my work days/time away goes.

    The single biggest thing you can do to help your child learn to read is to read to her.  Find books that she likes and enjoy them with her.  Encourage a love of and respect for books.

    Also, your DD is way too young to worry about writing.  If she likes to scribble, get her some art supplies.  Both of my DD's love painting, playdoh, drawing on a magnadoodle.
     
    I wish she truly had an interest in books! She lets me read a bit, but uses them compulsively as stim tools instead of the awesome-ness they contain. She is hyper-lexic so is picking up on reading some words so again, I think I saw the glimmer and too excited. She loves the library but goes for the computers :/ real books and reading are tough for her to literally sit through. I am trying to model independent reading time at home where I read a mommy book and she reads her books in addition to at home reading, but she just uses the time/books to sort, cycle, or become one with my leg/arm. However, the BT/DT just suggested the "silly" reading suggestion for her books, since she knows all of them by heart when we read the words, so maybe that will change soon.
     
    She really likes our dry erase board and wants to write, tries to copy, and with tremors and seeing other family moms worry, not to mention my own handwriting, AND DD being a lefty (not suggesting bad handwriting per leftys, just rough teachers getting to her before I can), I guess I thought I would be giving her an early leg up. We are good on art supplies, but I do plan to get more - but then her sensory gets into it and she feels dirty - viscous cycle. Magna-doodle is a great suggestion! She likes the one at school and the library.

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  • mightmom13mightmom13 member

    Oh - and please don't take my above replies in that I didn't take a lot away from you all - I did. I guess I was taking Christmas and turning it into what I wanted it to be - negating my original plans of loving, caring, cooking, giving unto others with thought, etc all together.

    I know I totally just need to relax, but it's tough, I am trying - maybe that can be my gift, try a little harder to be a typical mom during the holidays. I get lost in being a typical mom just because I have an atypical kiddo.

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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    We all get it:) I think it's a good reminder for all of us that instead of worrying about what will help our kiddos, at Christmas we can just get them something they will truly enjoy. I got a Montessori catalog in the mail the other day that had lots of cool stuff in it. I'll see if I can find a link to the website and post it for you later.
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  • mightmom13mightmom13 member

    Oh - and please don't take my above replies in that I didn't take a lot away from you all - I did. I guess I was taking Christmas and turning it into what I wanted it to be - negating my original plans of loving, caring, cooking, giving unto others with thought, etc all together.

    I know I totally just need to relax, but it's tough, I am trying - maybe that can be my gift, try a little harder to be a typical mom during the holidays. I get lost in being a typical mom just because I have an atypical kiddo.

    -auntie- said:
    mightmom13 said:
     
    She really likes our dry erase board and wants to write, tries to copy, and with tremors and seeing other family moms worry, not to mention my own handwriting, AND DD being a lefty (not suggesting bad handwriting per leftys, just rough teachers getting to her before I can), I guess I thought I would be giving her an early leg up. We are good on art supplies, but I do plan to get more - but then her sensory gets into it and she feels dirty - viscous cycle. Magna-doodle is a great suggestion! She likes the one at school and the library.
    What do you mean by the bolded? 

    Why would you anticipate she'd ever have rough teachers? IME, the steel ruler wielding nuns and spinsters seem to be a relic of the 1950s. I've had some crappy teachers, DS has too. But it's almost like you're borrowing trouble and painting people you don't know with too broad a brush. 

    FWIW, handwriting, as a subject, is barely taught in school. Kids learn letter formation in kindie and first, touch on cursive in mainstream in 3rd and that's it. Done and done.

    If your child is in a special education setting, she'll likely do Handwriting Without Tears for her handwriting curriculum. If she's very impaired around this, she may qualify for OT.


    Didn't mean to bold at all, and I know she will have rough teachers. I "failed" handwriting, and that is how they put it and at a young age had the awful feeling of going home and telling my parents I "failed" a class. Also I went to Catholic school....with nuns...so that topic is easily borrowed. Her OT is kind of freaking me out by giving me multiple things to freak out about each week with preschool, talking natural anxiety meds (still meds), school psychs, legal, etc - normally I would back off a little in the sessions except she is the non-pusher therapist so I like to observe that we aren't just repeating the same things week after week.

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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    Here's a link to the Montessori catalog that I got:

    https://www.forsmallhands.com/


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  • MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member
    bubba2b said:

    Expectations and Christmas...it is tough.

    Couple of thoughts...

    Why limit to to toys? If you are looking to see her interests...try a zoo membership? Aquarium? Farm Passes? Pool membership?

    Go the used toy route...Seiously. Save your money for a new IPad or other device down the road.

    Go out and have fun at Christmas...Tons of stuff to do with kids and don't forget some date nights. 

     

    Put me in this camp. I vowed that last Christmas would the the last time I waste my and my family member's money on toys DS doesn't want, or is interested in for a day or two. I tried valiently to get him interested in Batman, Spiderman, etc etc etc and he's just not into it. I'm going to have the most epic garage sale you've ever seen next Spring. For his birthday we took him to a waterpark hotel. He was over the moon. He loves movies, ipad games, and amusement parks.

    It's a good idea to play to things he needs to work on- like turn taking and games, but I wouldn't give those things for Christmas. That would be more like homework for DS. A necessary evil.

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  • mightmom13mightmom13 member

    Thanks all! Yeah still working on the whole interests part - right now are counting and letters, lol...so numbered legos, trains, and places without people - really I am laughing :) I think I might do the cheap ikea lego table pininterst thing. That or goodwill - all the things she likes the best from therapy are really, really, old toys/games.

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