Bad Day. Can I whine!?!?!?

JBDamonM · November 2013

Sorry to be debbie downer. Apologize in advance.

But being a working mom FREAKING sucks.

M was up twice last night - once at 12:30 and then from 2:30-4. Yes, for an hour and a half So I'm exhausted today which is not helping things. I've been exhausted all week, even after having Monday off. Today's the type of day where I would love to use a vacation day, as I feel so burnt out - but I only have 4 left for the year after my maternity leave, and as you all know, with a child in daycare, that's not a heck of a lot. But seriously, working full time leaves me no time to do anything I feel like. Get up, drop off at daycare, work, pick up at daycare, dinner, clean up, bed. Maybe an hour in there for some TV. And as you all know, it's not like there are ever off days. (My husband does help with things - but just started a new job so unfortunately a lot of daycare logistics have been on me).

I am actually somewhat fortuante b/c I can work at home. Which I do 3 days a week - but ONLY because my office is almost an hour from my house. Not something I signed up for, but when they moved us last year I drew the short stick on the location.I'd do all 5 days at home - but truthfully need a printer, and some time in the office to not be distracted by the mountains of laundry in my house. But an hour door to door is a motivation killer. Every.single.time I drive it.

Today as I was driving in - I fishtailed. NO idea how this happened as I wasn't even going the speed limit. All of this as someone was passing me, and I just missed an accident. I realize on a positive note I did miss the accident, but I know my tires are starting to go - on a car that also needs to go, so now we need to find a way to get me a new car, b/c truthfully I am not comfortable driving LO around like that - thankfully she was already at daycare when this happened. (again, another positive.)

I also really don't like my job. I feel like it's a loosing battle constantly. The culture is toxic. Everyone loves throwing everyone under the bus. People are ALWAYS complaining about you. So two weeks ago, I got my hand slapped from my bosses bosses boss. Who I have met maybe 5 times. We had a meeting A MONTH ago, and he expresed concerns that I was "disinterested". (THat's whole other WTF). None the less, I took the beating - and proposed ideas to make things better. This morning I come into an email regarding one of those ideas. And the e-mail is addressed to me and teamates on how he wants reccomendations and a draft project plan by Wednesday from each one of us. SO let me get this straight, you tell me I need to take more ownership? I tell you how I'm going to utilize this project to do so. And you respond by looping in my teamates (who have no business being involved). Thanks, Thanks a lot. Great management right there.

I've been looking for a new job for months, with no avail. Although I have not been as active in the past month because I have no time. But seriously, I have to deal with life being insane balancing motherhood and the demands of a full time job, and to do so in an atmosphere where I simply can not win is just MISERABLe. I feel a solid, ugly meltdown brewing inside me and really wish I worked from home today so I could cry it out Oh and I'm also almost positive I am PMSing, first cyle post BFing and I'm pretty sure it's made for some raging PMS.

At least it's Friday and I can burry my sorrows in a wine glass this weekend.

Thanks for letting me vent.

pb_bride · November 2013

@JBDamonM, I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time. {{hugs}} My heads off to you and all the working moms here! I honestly don't know how you do it. I SAH and I still have days that I'm completely overwhelmed, even though I don't really do much all day long. Your commute to work sounds brutal, even if it's only 2 days a week, and then to work in a toxic place? Yikes.

GL with your job-hunting. As for the piles of stuff needing to do at home? It sounds like YH is busy too, but maybe you can sit down with him and explain to him you are overworked and over-tired, so he can pitch in a little bit more?

I do want to tell you that it gets easier... I've learned to be more efficient with housework, and with MH helping out some of the little chores (eg, starting the laundry, sweeping the floors when I BF), life is a bit less hectic.

Hope your day gets betterand go enjoy your wine this weekend!

ETA: Does your finances allow you to hire someone to clean the house every couple of weeks?

TJ1979 · November 2013

Big hugs. Being a working mom sucks. I hope you can find something soon. Getting out of that toxic environment will definitely help.

ccam · November 2013

Being a working mom does suck!! I hope some opportunities open up soon for you.

I'm happy you avoided that accident though. And PMS on top of it all?!

JBDamonM · November 2013

pb_bride said:

@JBDamonM, I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time. {{hugs}} My heads off to you and all the working moms here! I honestly don't know how you do it. I SAH and I still have days that I'm completely overwhelmed, even though I don't really do much all day long. Your commute to work sounds brutal, even if it's only 2 days a week, and then to work in a toxic place? Yikes.

GL with your job-hunting. As for the piles of stuff needing to do at home? It sounds like YH is busy too, but maybe you can sit down with him and explain to him you are overworked and over-tired, so he can pitch in a little bit more?

I do want to tell you that it gets easier... I've learned to be more efficient with housework, and with MH helping out some of the little chores (eg, starting the laundry, sweeping the floors when I BF), life is a bit less hectic.

Hope your day gets betterand go enjoy your wine this weekend!

ETA: Does your finances allow you to hire someone to clean the house every couple of weeks?

Ironically my house is clean!!!! I took Monday off this week and spent SIX AND A HALF hours cleaning it from top to bottom. Which did not help with how tired I am, but man - it looks good

And yes, we actually have a cleaning lady - she comes once a month. However she's kind of fallen off the radar screen since LO's arrival. BUT she did call me this week to see if we needed her around the holidays, so thank you for the reminder to call her back. I"m going to bring her back once a month. I will make room in the budget, even though we have a lot of expenses right now.

Unfortunately she doesn't do laundry - which is what seems to kill me

kmc84 · November 2013

((Hugs)) that's a whole lot of crappy going on

FX that a great job opportunity comes your way! I hope you can have a nice relaxing weekend. Tell YH you are off duty for two hours and take a nice long bubble bath!

TJ1979 · November 2013

Laundry is what kills me too. I hate it!

carrera317 · November 2013

I hear ya on the laundry! How is it that one added person seems to add 3x the laundry!?! Being a working mom definitely has it's challenges. I am praying for the day that I can work part time just to catch up on sleep and laundry. You are totally entitled to have days like this as a working mom. I just hope they are few and far between. Hang in there. FX that a great new opportunity comes your way soon.

kzawisl · November 2013

Vent away! Being a working mom SUCKS. But I have to remind myself I much prefer being a working mom to being a working not-mom.

Mon through Fri I only see my kids for two waking hours a day, since I started my new job 4 months ago. It's been incredibly rough.

IBackBevo · November 2013

Working Mom or not, imo there is nothing worse than being in a toxic work environment. Fx that a new opportunity comes your way soon.

JBDamonM · November 2013

kzawisl said:

Vent away! Being a working mom SUCKS. But I have to remind myself I much prefer being a working mom to being a working not-mom. Mon through Fri I only see my kids for two waking hours a day, since I started my new job 4 months ago. It's been incredibly rough.

That sucks - but you have a great point.

mcgeeva · November 2013

Aye sounds like it's time for a job change! They sounds like they suck! I'm sorry! I get the commute thing I drive three hours a day to work and I'm get this 15.6 miles away!!!! So I feel ya on the daycare pickups, work, cook dinner, play and start over again. My husband jut started his big traveling with work again so it stinks big time. Hopefully something give for you soon!

kaf7 · November 2013

Sorry JB. I hope y can get a new car and a job you enjoy more soon. As for laundry, I decided to ensure LO has enough clothes that I only do one load for him a week. Are you able to do that? I split most chores with DH. Any chance yours would be able to do a load of laundry tonight? Or even one a day for the next 3 days to get things caught up? GL and hugs.

imoverit · November 2013

Hugs. You have a lot going on. Hang in there mama. Hope some things turn around soon.

jessica_gail2 · November 2013

So sorry you're dealing with a crappy job - there's nothing worse! I hope you find a new one soon, and in the meantime that things get easier for you!

JBDamonM · November 2013

Thanks ladies. Ironically I felt much better when I stepped out of my car and into my driveway tonight. At least it's the weekend. Plus I called my cleaning lady and called a Toyota dealer today - I think I want the new re-designed 2014 Highlander, which isn't available until early next year. So I have a valid reason to put car shopping on hold, of course assuming my tires aren't totally shot. FX

Dragonfly1226 · November 2013

(((((Hugs))))) I was a working mom for exactly six weeks, and it was six weeks too long. I am in awe of you. Adding into the equation a miserable atmosphere at work just sucks. I am so sorry your boss is a douche. I really hope you find something better (and closer) soon. In the meantime, TGIF.

Mrs.AmyDylan · November 2013

Hugs! Being a working mom is so incredibly hard. My mom watches J at my house during busy season (the rest if the year I'm at SAHM). It is hard to get myself out the door, I have no idea how moms get kiddos to dc.

I'm really sorry your job sucks. It makes it even harder to swallow everything else when you hate the reason you have to pack up your LO and rush around.

As for the laundry, I'm one of those sick freaks who likes laundry. However, I would lie, cheat and steal to have someone else do the floors.

Hope your weekend brings you some relaxation.

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