How do I say no to this?

MomtobeNJ · October 2013

I'm hoping you ladies can help with this.

My boss called me today (he works out of a different office) to tell me he would be leaving our company in mid-December. He told me they will be advertising for his position and recruiting external candidates, but he also strongly encouraged me to consider applying. I am extremely flattered, of course. He and I have had several conversations about the possibility of moving up in our company when an opportunity arose. I would definitely enjoy the work itself and the pay increase that goes along with it, of course.

However, there is no way I can take that job now. As I mentioned, his position works out of a different office and there is a totally different culture over there. On average, they work from about 9 - 10 am to 7 - 8 pm because those are the hours our President keeps. There are often evening events all over the state. My husband works nights so I am solely responsible for the baby Monday - Thursday evenings. Daycare closes at 6 so I need to be heading out by 5:30 at the latest to pick her up. It's just not a good fit right now. I considered throwing my hat in the ring anyway and telling them I would love to be considered for the job if I can maintain my current schedule. I can even arrange for a babysitter a few times a month for evening events. My concern is that they will say yes now, but when push comes to shove and there are deadlines and meetings and emergencies, they will frown upon me always being the first one out the door. I mean, my husband will be at work. I HAVE to leave to get her before daycare closes, no matter what.

So finally, here is the question part of my post: what is the best way to word this? Do I simply say that my schedule just doesn't allow for this kind of position right now, but I would like to be considered for other opportunities in the future? And if they do promise me flexibility and say I can keep my current schedule (which I wouldn't trust because I know how they operate), what do I say then?

FemShep · October 2013

If you know you can't do the job logistically, and it sounds like that's the case, I would not apply. Suppose you got the job, and you were asked to work evenings 2-4 times a month. What would you do? Given that evening events are considered part of the job, how would you say no? How do you think your new boss will feel when you routinely skip events that others attend? I completely understand wanting the opportunity, but if you don't trust the company to maintain your flexibility, which is a requirement for your family, I personally would prefer to wait a few years for another opportunity than put myself in a position to fail by accepting a role in a culture that didn't work with my family's schedule.

shannm · October 2013

I would apply and discuss work life balance. Because they know you, I would be upfront about your questions. If you really think you could get the job done in a different time frame than what they are used to, sell that to them. I would also consider getting a nanny or evening helper to give you more flexibility.

Edit- sorry, I didn't really answer your question. Just say it doesn't fit with your family needs right now. If they promise you certain hours and you don't trust it, just say you can't take that risk right now.

SunAndRain · November 2013

What you wrote sounds completely professional and reasonable. You have a legitimate concern. You have a clear solution. You are offering a comprimise on how to put in your regular hours AND meet occasional evening comittments. I would put in for this job. If you are the best candidate, there is logistically nothing standing in your way from accepting this job should the offer be made. As for the culture, you'll just have to stand your ground and don't allow others to make you feel uncomfortable.

MomtobeNJ · November 2013

Thank you very much for all your input, ladies. Fortunately I have a great relationship with my boss and I think I can have a frank discussion with him about this next week. I'm going to present the same case I did here and try to get a better read on the situation. Thanks again!

How do I say no to this?

Re: How do I say no to this?

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