Dear Diary Friday!

pettycrocker · November 2013

For any newcomers- This is place to vent your random frustrations, so you can better focus on dealing with IF.

pettycrocker · November 2013

Dear Diary,

What in the mother fucking hell is up with my period?! I am like 3 or 4 days late.. I get sporadic sharp cramps, but no period in sight?! Really Lupron?! Really? I'm supposed to start my stims on the 4th............... obviously that's not going to happen if I don't start my period, TODAY. FFS.

pettycrocker · November 2013

Dear Diary,

I woke up wanting to have a great day, regardless of how shitty the weather is. Now my neighbors (directly above) are fucking up there wrestling?! Crashing into my ceiling, and jangling my nerves.

You just keep testing me, universe.

ScarletBegonia79 · November 2013

I am mad at AF too. I know it's coming becasue I have every symptom in the book so let's just get it over with already, k?

chrissynena · November 2013

Dear Diary,

I said I wasn't going to get my hopes up during this 2ww, but here I am wondering what if?? So frustrating.

DD, seriously Mommy loves that you're getting so big and strong, but Daddy and I have your little sisters to pay for and can't keep spending crap tons of money on new clothes every other day!!

Amores0121 · November 2013

Dear Diary,

Feeling kinda crappy again today. Just waiting for the sickness to kick in and I have no sick days left. Thankfully DH and I got good timing this cycle, but I am sick of waiting for the SA results!! It has been a week already, this is ridiculous.

freakyfast · November 2013

Dear Diary,

I am starting to feel anxious about my surgery on Tuesday. I do know that it is the only way, and this weekend I will grieve my tube(s). Part of me hopes they take just the one and the other part hopes they just take both. I just feel so separated from myself and feel like I am losing parts of my womanhood.

Also this birth control they put me on is making me an emotional wreck!!! I don't feel like myself, I am angry, upset, FAT and irritated!

AND our new mattress sucks a big one. My back is killing me, and this morning I am in a lot of pain it hurts to move. (grrr see irritated)!

xoxo

Jen071407 · November 2013

Dear Diary,

What the frick ovaries?!?! CD12 ultrasound today on the same protocol and my "biggest" follicle is a 14mm and the next is a measly 12mm?! WTF? I am so OVER this crap. I usually have two follies at 17/18mm by this point. I feel like the IUI is already a waste of time.

@freakyfast ((hugs)) woman. Losing your tube(s) must be yet another hill on this roller coaster of IF. FX for a smooth surgery, quick recovery, and successful FET!

@Mrs Castillo I don't know anything about IVF meds...is there any reason you should be testing?

freakyfast · November 2013

Jen071407 said:

@freakyfast ((hugs)) woman. Losing your tube(s) must be yet another hill on this roller coaster of IF. FX for a smooth surgery, quick recovery, and successful FET!

Thank you so very much. This means a lot to me! I appreciate it.

kndeckar · November 2013

Dear Diary,
I am also in the "hurry up and get here AF because I have every PMS symptom in the world" boat. I have NO patience for DD today. It took me 1.5 hrs to get her down for a nap & I'm about to lose my sh*t. I should've just sent her to daycare instead of taking the day off when I have tons of work to do to try to be the "fun mommy". I failed. I ended up being the crabby "yell at your child till they go to sleep" mommy. Blah!

Jen071407 · November 2013

freakyfast said:

Jen071407 said:

@freakyfast ((hugs)) woman. Losing your tube(s) must be yet another hill on this roller coaster of IF. FX for a smooth surgery, quick recovery, and successful FET!

Thank you so very much. This means a lot to me! I appreciate it.

Anytime ~O) <--- just looked fun!

freakyfast · November 2013

Jen071407 said:
Anytime ~O) <--- just looked fun!

Jen071407 LOL. I also decided on the day of surgery will be the day that I cut out coffee completely. My RE wants me off of coffee, and I had seriously weened myself down to a small cup every morning, but the day of surgery I am done. So thanks for the coffee!!!

Jen071407 · November 2013

freakyfast said:

Jen071407 said:
Anytime ~O) <--- just looked fun!

Jen071407 LOL. I also decided on the day of surgery will be the day that I cut out coffee completely. My RE wants me off of coffee, and I had seriously weened myself down to a small cup every morning, but the day of surgery I am done. So thanks for the coffee!!!

LOL welcome!

+SouthernMomma+ · November 2013

Dear Diary,

My husband came home JUST IN TIME last night for O and I didn't miss my FW! Yep, you can fill in the blanks!

Momma did work SON! lol.

Now here's hoping that one of those little guys STICKS, and I don't need the surgery!!

\:D/ \m/ B-)

Jen071407 · November 2013

TicketTuesday said:
Dear Diary,

Why does my kid keep peeing his pants?

That's all I got.

Uggghhh! Ditto!

Jen071407 · November 2013

Dear Diary,
Finally got the official results from my ultrasound and will be triggering Monday, IUI Wednesday. DH is on call Monday so he can't give me my shot... Eff, I know I'm going to take like an hour to actually stick myself.

MommaInNC · November 2013

TicketTuesday said:

Dear Diary,

Why does my kid keep peeing his pants?

That's all I got.

I'll see your pants peeing kid and raise you a pants POOPING kid. They've been fully potty trained since July and he's regressing now? Ahhh! I feel your pain, Momma!

uagirl · November 2013

Dear diary,

Why has my skin reverted to that of a 13 year old girl? I shouldn't be buying Proactive until my kid is a teenager. I miss the pretty skin I had on birth control. Why can't I find motivation to get to the gym and lose some weight. If we have to go all the way to IVF, I'm 20 lbs heavier than their cutoff. This weight has to go. The buckets of Halloween candy in my house aren't really helping.

freakyfast · November 2013

Dear Diary,
Not sure what I did to my back WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. But I'm in some serious pain. I will relax tonight with homemade pizza and a glass of wine. I shall have a piece of pizza for @ mrscastillo.

ETA: I hate being mobile

pettycrocker · November 2013

freakyfast said:

Dear Diary, Not sure what I did to my back WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. But I'm in some serious pain. I will relax tonight with homemade pizza and a glass of wine. I shall have a piece of pizza for @ mrscastillo. ETA: I hate being mobile

That's true love! :x

Feel better

:-*

pettycrocker · November 2013

MommaInNC said:

TicketTuesday said:

Dear Diary,

Why does my kid keep peeing his pants?

That's all I got.

I'll see your pants peeing kid and raise you a pants POOPING kid. They've been fully potty trained since July and he's regressing now? Ahhh! I feel your pain, Momma!

Yes. Add me to this list. My kid is peeing AND pooping in her pants. All day today, particularly.

Earlier, after she crapped in her underwear, she came running up to me saying "Poop! I got poop, I gotta put it in the toilet".. Yea, my kid had shit, in her hands. She actually dug shit out of her underwear, and was just waving shit around proudly.

So, yea. FML. Maybe it's in the weather? Because she's been doing pretty awesome with the potty lately, but today was a total fail.

pettycrocker · November 2013

Jen071407 said:

Dear Diary, Finally got the official results from my ultrasound and will be triggering Monday, IUI Wednesday. DH is on call Monday so he can't give me my shot... Eff, I know I'm going to take like an hour to actually stick myself.

This is pretty much what I worry about on a daily basis. I don't mind doing any of the other shots myself, but that trigger shot scares the piss out of me

MommaInNC · November 2013

Mrs Castillo said:

MommaInNC said:

TicketTuesday said:

Dear Diary,

Why does my kid keep peeing his pants?

That's all I got.

I'll see your pants peeing kid and raise you a pants POOPING kid. They've been fully potty trained since July and he's regressing now? Ahhh! I feel your pain, Momma!

Yes. Add me to this list. My kid is peeing AND pooping in her pants. All day today, particularly.

Earlier, after she crapped in her underwear, she came running up to me saying "Poop! I got poop, I gotta put it in the toilet".. Yea, my kid had shit, in her hands. She actually dug shit out of her underwear, and was just waving shit around proudly.

So, yea. FML. Maybe it's in the weather? Because she's been doing pretty awesome with the potty lately, but today was a total fail.

OH MY GOSH! You poor thing! Today was a rough day all the way around. The poop was just the icing on the shit cake.

pettycrocker · November 2013

LOL I am cracking up @ "icing on the shit cake"

Thanks for the laugh @mammaInNC

MommaInNC · November 2013

Mrs Castillo said:

LOL I am cracking up @ "icing on the shit cake"

Thanks for the laugh @mammaInNC

pettycrocker · November 2013

THANK YOU TO ALL THINGS HOLY )(@!*)!(@*! @MY PERIOD FINALLY STARTED!)_!)(

17DPO, THE LONGEST CYCLE EVER IN MY LIFE IS FINALLY OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so freaking relieved! I go for my 1st baseline on Monday, and I was effing worried I wouldn't be able to start my stims cuz of the stupid delay- but it looks like everything will be progressing!! Yippy Skippy!!

^:)^ :ar! :bz ^:)^ :bz :ar! :-bd :-bd :-bd

freakyfast · November 2013

Mrs Castillo said:

THANK YOU TO ALL THINGS HOLY )(@!*)!(@*! @MY PERIOD FINALLY STARTED!)_!)(

17DPO, THE LONGEST CYCLE EVER IN MY LIFE IS FINALLY OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so freaking relieved! I go for my 1st baseline on Monday, and I was effing worried I wouldn't be able to start my stims cuz of the stupid delay- but it looks like everything will be progressing!! Yippy Skippy!!

^:)^ :ar! :bz ^:)^ :bz :ar! :-bd :-bd :-bd

\m/ \m/ \m/ =D> #:-S

CheesyPeas · November 2013

uagirl said:

Dear diary,

Why has my skin reverted to that of a 13 year old girl? I shouldn't be buying Proactive until my kid is a teenager. I miss the pretty skin I had on birth control. Why can't I find motivation to get to the gym and lose some weight. If we have to go all the way to IVF, I'm 20 lbs heavier than their cutoff. This weight has to go. The buckets of Halloween candy in my house aren't really helping.

I hear ya, @uagirl! Since coming off bc 3 years ago my skin has turned to shit. It was never bad before I went on bc, so I was surprised to see it got so gross. And ttc and pregnancy friendly acne products aren't doing a damn thing for me. So obnoxious. And it makes me self conscious.

annibes · November 2013

Dear Diary,

I am so pissed about my annual exam with the OB on Tuesday. Apparently now he thinks that I am ovulating and has stopped mentioning clomid every 5 minutes (I told him from the beginning I wouldn't take the Rx), but now he decides that DHs 3.5% strict morphology and possibly high viscosity could actually be contributing to our 2IF. Um, didn't I ask that question point blank 6 months ago?

So now off to a specialist to talk about the varicocele that everyone told us probably wasn't an issue.

Now I'm all optimistic about this cycle, that since I might not be the issue, maybe we'll get that lucky one sperm again, like with DS. I would even be due about the same time. So my hopes are back up but I'm expecting a huge meltdown in about 2 weeks when AF comes.

Oh, and today, I snuggled up to DH on the couch and he said, "you're awfully clingy lately. Is it hormones?" Uh, how about "I love you, too," or just snuggling back?

All the men involved in this whole 2IF business are pissing me off this week.

At least indoor soccer starts again tonight. I'm going to kick the shit out of that ball.

pettycrocker · November 2013

Dear Diary----

I am so on edge waiting for the fucking call from the Dr. telling me how to progress. I have a small cyst on one ovary, and I am just praying they don't delay/cancel me because of it.. UGH UGH UGH. They usually call by 1 so of course the fucking calls would be late today.

freakyfast · November 2013

Mrs Castillo said:

Dear Diary----

I am so on edge waiting for the fucking call from the Dr. telling me how to progress. I have a small cyst on one ovary, and I am just praying they don't delay/cancel me because of it.. UGH UGH UGH. They usually call by 1 so of course the fucking calls would be late today.

Ugh! Sorry... I always assume I will hear at 4:30, that way when they call before that it's early! When did you find that out? about the cyst? today?

Jen071407 · November 2013

Mrs Castillo said:

Dear Diary----

I am so on edge waiting for the fucking call from the Dr. telling me how to progress. I have a small cyst on one ovary, and I am just praying they don't delay/cancel me because of it.. UGH UGH UGH. They usually call by 1 so of course the fucking calls would be late today.

Boo! Now I'm waiting on pins and needles with/for you, too! Fx for no delays!

pettycrocker · November 2013

freakyfast said:

Mrs Castillo said:

Dear Diary----

I am so on edge waiting for the fucking call from the Dr. telling me how to progress. I have a small cyst on one ovary, and I am just praying they don't delay/cancel me because of it.. UGH UGH UGH. They usually call by 1 so of course the fucking calls would be late today.

Ugh! Sorry... I always assume I will hear at 4:30, that way when they call before that it's early! When did you find that out? about the cyst? today?

Yea, they saw it during my baseline this AM. The Dr (not my reg Dr- who was too busy sitting at the desk) seemed optimistic, she said it's small and probably just left over from when I Oed last cycle. I'm still waiting.. calls are between 1 and 6 8-|

Oh AND I finally got the written authorization for my 2nd Lupron kit- called that in, and the pharmacy is saying it's not going through on their end. So more fucking waiting. So annoying!!!

:ar! :ar! :ar! :ar!

freakyfast · November 2013

Your doctor and pharmacy give me 'roll of the eye-sitis' ugh.

8-| 8-|

pettycrocker · November 2013

freakyfast said:

Your doctor and pharmacy give me 'roll of the eye-sitis' ugh.
8-| 8-|

You and me both, girl. They FINALLY called. I start my stims on Thurs. I know this is only because they're trying to get a bunch of us on the same cycle because the Drs are going to some convention this month- but whatever. At least I have a set start date/time. I was hoping to start my stims today, so it's just a few days difference.

Starting Thurs. morning- I'm continuing the Lupron .5ml every night,100 units of Follistim 2x per day, and me and H start the antibiotics. My next baseline is next Monday. Now I'll just hope they don't add in the Menopur on Monday.

b-(

Jen071407 · November 2013

Dear Diary, T-2.5hrs until my date with the trigger shot. All. By. Myself. Thankfully DH is amazing and let me practice sticking him last night! (For the record, with an extra, clean needle!) So, whew, I got this.

freakyfast · November 2013

Jen071407 said:
Dear Diary,

T-2.5hrs until my date with the trigger shot. All. By. Myself. Thankfully DH is amazing and let me practice sticking him last night! (For the record, with an extra, clean needle!) So, whew, I got this.

You got this girl!

freakyfast · November 2013

Dear Diary,
Please let tomorrow go smoothly with minimal pain and discomfort and that the doctor/RE does a good job.

While I am away please take care of my ladies on the bump.

xoxo
freaky

Jen071407 · November 2013

freakyfast said:

Dear Diary, Please let tomorrow go smoothly with minimal pain and discomfort and that the doctor/RE does a good job. While I am away please take care of my ladies on the bump. xoxo freaky

Good luck!! Another step toward your bfp

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