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What's my schedule? Ha. That's cute.

HBirdieHBirdie member
edited October 2013 in September 2013 Moms
The thread about people asking invasive questions reminded me of this and I wanted to share...

My FIL and step MIL stopped by last night to see Caleb. It was around 8pm when they came and I had just fed him. He was awake and a little fussy, but not bad, just wanted to be held exactly the right way. They kept asking me what his schedule was and when he would eat next and what time he's up for the day and how many naps he takes... all of these weirdly specific questions. I was kind of annoyed because, come on, he's three weeks old! He doesn't have a schedule. He eats when he's hungry, then he sleeps most of the rest of the time, that's pretty much it. I could tell they were judging me because he was still awake at 8pm and not "down for the night." Uh, he's a baby. He just woke up from a four hour nap. It's not like he's four years old and I'm forcing him to stay up until we're ready to go to sleep. And when he fell asleep in FIL's arms, he was like, "Oh, do you want me to keep him awake? Does he need to eat?" I looked at him like he was crazy and said, "If he really needed to eat, he probably wouldn't be asleep right now..."

Ugh. I guess it was different back when they had babies, but how hard is it to understand that when you have a new baby, they dictate the schedule for awhile? They seemed appalled that he doesn't go to sleep for the night until 10 or 10:30 and that we weren't implementing more of a routine. I tired to explain that babies this little aren't ready for any kind of schedule or sleep training, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Oh well, judge away, I guess.

Anyone else being judged for stupid things?

Edit: typo & forgot a detail.
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Re: What's my schedule? Ha. That's cute.

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    happybride 276happybride 276 member
    My in laws judge me, but screw them. I judge the hell out of them too. I have seen how well (or not well) they have parented. They have no room to judge.

    I should say that I am really referencing my SIL, and not really my husband.
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    Bamgal25Bamgal25 member
    A lot of people seem to not realize that little babies don't have a daily schedule. As much as I would like my daughter to be on a schedule so I could plan my day better, it doesn't work like that. When people ask in advance what time is good for a visit, I have to tell them that I really don't know our schedule for the day. I ask people to just let me know what time they will arrive and I'll *try* to have her fed and happy when they arrive.

    Also, husband's family doesn't get how much work it is to take a baby somewhere. All of his aunts keep saying how they can't wait to see her and I keep reminding them that they are welcome to come visit her at our house. I'm not packing up everything and driving all over the state to show her to everyone. If you really "can't wait" to see her, then you can come to us.
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    HBirdieHBirdie member
    A lot of people seem to not realize that little babies don't have a daily schedule. As much as I would like my daughter to be on a schedule so I could plan my day better, it doesn't work like that. When people ask in advance what time is good for a visit, I have to tell them that I really don't know our schedule for the day. I ask people to just let me know what time they will arrive and I'll *try* to have her fed and happy when they arrive. Also, husband's family doesn't get how much work it is to take a baby somewhere. All of his aunts keep saying how they can't wait to see her and I keep reminding them that they are welcome to come visit her at our house. I'm not packing up everything and driving all over the state to show her to everyone. If you really "can't wait" to see her, then you can come to us.
    I hear you on ALL of this. Especially trying to get people to tell you when they're coming. Why is it so hard to give a specific time and then stick to it? I count on knowing exactly when visitors will be there to try and have him changed and fed, but when people are late or early, it throws everything off. Especially DH's family... it seems like they don't realize it's their fault that I'll have to take Caleb into the nursery and spend 30 minutes feeding him if they come an hour later than they're supposed to. I'm still trying to get DH to fully understand this, actually, he's super laid back and has a tendency to say stuff like, "Sure, come over anytime after 7." Nope, that really doesn't work. I don't want to have my boob out with your parents knocking at the door. Ugh.
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    Violet1372Violet1372 member
    I do not understand how people think little babies can have a schedule. I could not imagine trying to force Sophie onto a schedule. Even her day to day now varies so much. She is still eating on demand, some days she naps a lot and other days she barely feels like nap and would rather eat all day every hour. I'd imagine I won't be able to put her on a "schedule" for quite a few more weeks if not months. 

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    AppleMuffinsAppleMuffins member
    Ha! Your in laws would have a shit fit since my baby doesn't go down for the night until 1-2am ish most nights. Dh doesn't seem to get the schedule thing either. He was asking me about trying to plan stops for our road trip in Dec. Who knows what she'll be doing then! She'll be 3 mos which is a big difference from 5 weeks.
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