What would you do?

MommaInNC · November 2013

So after FET 1 earlier this month we miscarried (6w2d). That was the last of our frozen embryos. We have the choice to do IVF 2 in Jan/Feb or wait until April/May. Our clinic only cycles quarterly (military). I'm STUCK. Part of me wants to jump back in asap, but another part of me wants to give it time. However, 7 months is a lot of time in IF/baby making world. There are pros and cons to both waiting and jumping in. I know you aren't doctors and I know this is our decision, I'm just curious to see what others would do or have done in a similar position.

Thanks in advance!

pettycrocker · November 2013

This is tough. Uhhhhhhhhhh!! I'm just going to answer as if it were me, and this is my gut reaction-

I think I would wait. But it's a tough "wait" if that makes sense? My heart would want to jump back in, but I think my head would tell me I needed time after a loss like that. I know the best thing for me would be to take some time to heal, physically,mentally, emotionally.

Good luck. It's a such a tough decision to make!

CheesyPeas · November 2013

I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. After we lost our angel baby (natural cycle), I felt like the only thing that could help ease my pain was to get pregnant right away, so I don't know that I personally would be able to wait if I were in your shoes. IVF definitely adds another huge layer on the decision that I never had to factor in, so I know how hard of a decision this must be. I hope that as the days pass, one of the two options starts to tip the scales a bit.

Jen071407 · November 2013

I'm with @cheesypeas in that after my mc it still feels like getting pregnant again would help me feel better. I would take the earlier option just because I'm tired of waiting and the roller coaster each month between now and your potential IVF would drive me crazy. Good luck with your decision!

MommaInNC · November 2013

Thanks ladies

Decision might have been made for us. I had a follow up appointment today to make sure my m/c is progressing and even though it is my RE isn't sure I'll have had my first post-m/c period by the time they start this cycle (requirement to cycle). He said things might line up and work out, but they might not. I'm ok waiting, but knowing that I have no choice in the matter makes me so frustrated. I left in tears and feeling hopeless. The icing on the sh*t cake was that I overheard the chick across the hall having an u/s. She got to see a healthy baby and left happy. She had the exact same due date as me. Not gonna lie, that stung

I def need some time to process and heal. If I have to wait that's all there is to it.

The cycle technically starts with my March period, baseline at the end of April and stims start in early May with a mid-May retrieval estimated. So about 6 months. The holidays will make this pass quickly and the twins birthday is in March, so its doable, but not ideal. Ugh, just feeling particularly sad/angry/frustrate/hopeless/etc today.

chusum · November 2013

I feel the same as @CheesyPeas . I'm sad you won't be able to decide for yourself, but I guess the forced decision makes it a tiny but easier.

I know that sting very well, as I sit in an exam room at my OB's office (at this very moment) hearing the Doppler in other exam rooms. I just walked out of the u/s room showing my very empty ute...

MommaInNC · November 2013

chusum said:

I feel the same as @CheesyPeas . I'm sad you won't be able to decide for yourself, but I guess the forced decision makes it a tiny but easier. I know that sting very well, as I sit in an exam room at my OB's office (at this very moment) hearing the Doppler in other exam rooms. I just walked out of the u/s room showing my very empty ute...

Ack, I'm sorry. Such a crappy thing to hear when you're dealing with a loss

It does make it easier simply because now I have to re-focus. It will be ok, but its just hard not to jump right back in. Plus the worries of "what if this doesn't work or ends in m/c?" are cropping up already. Such a helpless feeling.

trayle01 · November 2013

So sorry your having to wait.

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