Xposted, need advice!

Mamacatney · October 2013

I'm a very new step mom, and B's mother is a bitter, bitter woman. She was hoping I'd lose the baby, and told me so! The last conversation I had with her she told me that I needed to abort the child I'm carrying, otherwise her son will have to deal with a " water head retard" sibling. Yes, I'm high risk but the fetus is healthy.
Anyway, this Halloween she is coming to watch B trick or treat with us, and I'm dreading it. Should I refuse to go without an apology? Or kill her with kindness?

To add, we have him according to the decree every Thursday, but the mom says "she goes where B goes t&t."

Ilumine · October 2013

Actually, what you do is contact your lawyer. We have discussed this in the past. That is parental alienation and no judge would force this on your husband unless there is supposed to be supervised visits.

Now, if your DH does not want to rock said boat, tacked to the fact that she has made these comments, then the issue is more with him.

bebe11 · October 2013

I can't get past what she said to you about your baby. There is no way in hell that I'd allow her to go trick or treating with you, unless it specifically said that she could in the court order.

coopsbaby · October 2013

I've got to agree with everybody else. Your dh needs to be standing up to her nonsense and not let this happen. It's his day, she doesn't get to come. It would be one thing if she was decent and appropriate acting and had asked nicely, but she doesn't get to demand anything that is not in the court order. If your dh does not put a stop to this she will keep pushing for more and her behavior will just escalate.

MommyEllenSue · October 2013

Your DH needs to put a stop to this! What she said to you is not o.k. He needs to tell her she is not invited and not welcome to go trick or treating with ya'll. If ya'll had a better relationship it would be different.

twister22 · October 2013

Glad you made it over here

.

I'll say what I said again; It's not BM's time, she doesn't need to be there. If she can't even speak appropriately to you in front of SS, then there's ZERO reason to subject SS to that vileness. That's so disgusting that she would say that to you, I'm sorry that those things were said to you.

Plusalso, if BM EVER says ANYTHING like that to you again, you need to press charges against her for harassment. Saying those vile things is completely inappropriate, not to mention downright hateful and cruel.

BM has NO right to intrude on DH time. DH should let her know now that she is not welcome to tag along to ToTing, and if she refuses to listen I would call the police for stalking and violating a CO.

SueBear · October 2013

BM doesn't get to decide what she does anymore; the CO decides. It hurts, but that's part of the package when you divorce / split from the parent of your child. Your DH needs to step up. She is not allowed to railroad you. Plus, if she is so angry, it is a stressful environment fot DSS. He should enjoy himself without having to worry about which parent to make happy. Your DH needs to tell her to back off or you will take SS to a different neighborhood.

Nineoceans · October 2013

Anyone who wished ill on my child would not be within a foot of me. If your H is insane enough to spend a holiday with her he is welcome to, you can stay home and pass out candy.

emme022 · October 2013

If it was me I definitely wouldn't be going Trick or Treating with her after what she said and how it seems she's acting. Honestly I would probably go trick or treating in a different neighborhood so there is less of a chance of run into her and there being any problems.

emikat · October 2013

coopsbaby said:

I've got to agree with everybody else. Your dh needs to be standing up to her nonsense and not let this happen. It's his day, she doesn't get to come. It would be one thing if she was decent and appropriate acting and had asked nicely, but she doesn't get to demand anything that is not in the court order. If your dh does not put a stop to this she will keep pushing for more and her behavior will just escalate.

All of this. Just wow. I wouldn't be around someone that was so negative and mean!

Sigir · October 2013

I don't remember the history, does the dh never stand up to the BM? This would be a make or break for me, with my dh. If he did not tell her to stay the f home after saying that about HIS unborn child, I would be kicking my dh to the couch at the very least. What does your dh say about all this?

Mamacatney · November 2013

It went ok. She made a scene she didn't like hanging out with us, so maybe we won't have to deal with her.

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