Deadline/Timeline to TTC??

rlyttle · October 2013

We are currently TTA, but we MIGHT start TTC again at the beginning of the year for a few months. I know many of you are rolling your eyes, but what is your plan? Are you TTC until you have a baby? Do you have a timeline of when you are starting and stopping? The issue with us is we get pregnant REALLY easy, but I don't stay pregnant. I have DS and he is our world. We have since then had 2 MCs. We think we want to try again, but only give it a few months then throw in the towel if it doesn't work. Also, if I would have another MC we are DONE. I can't keep putting myself through that, and we have agreed that we wouldn't get tested and go beyond a 3rd MC. I know some people would think we are crazy for only trying for a few months, but our situation is different and I'm wondering what type of timeline if any do you have for TTC?

MrMrsandBaby · October 2013

DH and I have a start/stop timeline for now...we started in September and, if not pregnant, we will stop after January. There are a lot of reasons but we will start again in August/September again next year if I'm not pregnant and re-evaluate again the following January to see if we keep going or we are going to be OAD.

EmeJay · October 2013

We'll stop after 3 round of IVF - which is what is covered by our provincial plan.

If we have to go to IVF, we'll put ourselves on the adoption list which, for a newborn, takes between 5-7 years.

Milagros315 · October 2013

We'll keep TTC until we exhaust all of our options and/or resources or until we decide we'd like to pursue adoption instead. Or until we just decide we're done. I really have no idea how we'll feel down the road.

dogperson11 · October 2013

We started in October and will stop in January then restart again in March until we have a baby (like some others, we've got a big family vacation that I don't want to feel miserable during).

tealowl · October 2013

A few cycles we've NTNP for personal reasons. We also have a huge family vacation coming up April-ish and that was in the back of my head for awhile (didn't want to be 3rd tri waddling around Disney, etc).

vrj0522 · October 2013

We want to keep trying until I'm pregnant again. I have had one M/C since DS was born. If we were to have 2 additional M/Cs, then we'd start getting tested for other things. We'll probably start seeing an RE in a 4-5 months if I am not pregnant by then (and if a thyroid imbalance I have just been diagnosed with is within normal by then). We always wanted a big family so one child is not enough to make our family feel complete. We have also discussed adopting if it came to that but that would be more down the road, more like in a couple of years.

jcsumm0 · October 2013

I think I know how you feel a bit, although I've never had a miscarriage. What I would like to do is try for a year, maybe 18 months, and if for whatever reason I'm not pg at that time, we'll be one and done. I would love to give DD a sibling and have another baby, but because of NAIT, my pregnancy will be very high risk and difficult. I just don't think I want to go through IF treatments and then a complicated pregnancy. Right now I feel like if it doesn't happen on our own, I'll be happy with just being a family of 3.

I should add, I have no reason to think we won't get pg within a year, it took 11 months with DD; I just like to consider all the possibilities.

bunkgirl · October 2013

If we aren't pregnant by January then we will be one and done. Our DS is awesome so we have more than we could ever hope for so if #2 doesn't happen we will be thrilled with what we have and move on. Aaaaaaaand it's important to mention that I am BSC when TTC so we needed to have an end date.

BlckRoses · October 2013

We'll try for a year, and if we don't have a baby by then, we will probably just NTNP forever. I may change my mind if I get to be in my late 30s with no baby, but for now, I can see my life going either way. I've never been one of those women who has always seen herself as being a mother someday.

lebradford · October 2013

I can't imagine stopping TTC until I have a baby. However, we are very early on in our journey, so if we didn't have a baby in a year or two, I can see how things might change.

brownmouse · October 2013

DH.and I were decidedly one and done (he was 100% sure I was like 80% sure about it) until this summer when I finally told him that I really did think I wanted another. We did a lot of soul searching and decide together to TTC (and now we both have the baby bug BAD) We put a timeline on it because our DD is 4 now, so even if we got pregnant right away she would be 5 when the baby came. While I really do want another, I'm not sure how much of an age gap I am really okay with, since 4 years is already a pretty big gap, so we decided that we will try for a year and if it still isn't happening then we will sit down and talk about if we want to keep trying or just be one and done like originally planned. So we have until August of next year to get pregnant. We are not in the mindset that we want to go through any infertility testing or treatment if we have trouble getting pregnant (not that there is anything wrong with doing that, we just don't have the extra money and it would be a HUGE impact on our family so we decided that we won't go down that route) so if we can't get pregnant on our own, wit was just not meant to be for us. Which would be okay. I would be a little sad, but I was willing to be one and done and mostly okay with it once, so I know I can do it again. If this was our first child we would probably keep trying forever and/or getting medical help, but I can be happy with just DD if that is what is meant to be for our family. We got pregnant with DD first try, but I have history of infertility in my family, so I have no idea where I even stand on my fertility and ability to get pregnant again.

Then again, everyone is different. I have four older siblings (one my mom had as a teen, three adopted) and my parents tried for over ten years to have a baby together and spent a ton of money on testing and treatments. They finally gave up and decided to adopt my sister and two of my older brothers (who are all bio siblings) and literally got pregnant with me a few months after adopting, because they weren't using "protection" because my mom was labeled infertile. Then two years later accidentally got pregnant with my little brother. So much for infertile! I'm not sure what the point of that long anecdote was other than to say that having a timeline in which you expect things to happen is fine, but things have a habit of turning out the way they were supposed to regardless of your plans. If my parents had become pregnant with me right away, they would not have adopted my sister and brothers, and who knows where they would have ended up since they had been tossed around the foster system for years before then.

Edit: I will add though, at the year mark of TTC, if we do stop, it will not really be "stopping" per say because we will probably not try-not prevent and let what is supposed to happen at that point happen. I don't want to have a baby past about 30 though, so we will NTNP until my 30th birthday and then DH will probably have a vasectomy. I think it's good to have an idea of what you might do in a situation but also be open to other ideas. I've never had a miscarriage, so I cannot possibly understand your point of view on this, but I definitely understand not wanting to put yourself through more heartbreak. I just wanted to also say good luck TTC and sticky baby dust to you.

divinemsbee · October 2013

I'm another who can get pregnant with relative ease (7 months for the first BFP, 3 for the second), but I haven't been able to stay pregnant past 6 weeks. I think, in ways, losing a pregnancy before then is a little easier on me than, say, a mmc at 9 weeks or a second-tri loss. So, we're going to keep going and if I get pregnant again and m/c or cp again, we'll get the testing we need to get. I think if we already had at least one, maybe two kids, I'd be less likely to keep going or continue with testing or any sort of reproductive therapy; that I could make my peace with our family being complete.

Our insurance covers most testing and meds/monitoring for TI cycles, but not IUI or IVF. I'm hoping that since I seem to be ovulating regularly and we are able to get pregnant, that might work if it comes to it. We may take advantage of that if it comes to it. I can see us doing maybe IUI if a doc thought we had a good shot with it, but the money that IVF would cost seems excessive to our means at this point (that may change).

I don't know about adoption. I think it's a wonderful thing, and for a lot of people it's a great way to complete/grow a family, but I don't about it for me and H. A lot of it is because I do think I'd want a closed adoption, and I know that's very old-fashioned and not so done anymore. It's also a lot of money. I think we'd be more likely to go a GC route if we had that kind of money and my eggs/his sperm were amenable to that.

TravelingCouple · October 2013

MeatandBandP said:

Not stopping until I have a baby in my arms.

This.

I had a loss in August and it gutted me. I've spent hours and hours crying over that loss and wondering if I could risk putting myself and DH through that grief again. However, the thought of never trying and never having a baby hurts even worse. We'll keep trying until we have a baby. If for whatever reason that were to end up not being our biological baby, we would adopt. I just can't imagine never having kids.

Lottie&Paul · October 2013

Because of our age (I'm 36; husband is 56) we will try for a year, and if we're not pregnant by then, we'll be one and done.

BeeGirl2 · November 2013

We are trying until April (my 35th birthday) and then we will be done (I have 2 boys.) we made the decision on our honeymoon that at 35 we would be done adding to our family and we feel we want to stick to that deadline. Who knows how I will feel in April if I am still not pregnant but right now that is the plan...

MMason12 · November 2013

We are going to ttc until we get our little one! We got our first BFP in September and lost our little one at 7w4d. I just had a d&c preformed yesterday -- 4 weeks after losing our little one. We are determined to try again as soon as we can.

After that we really want a second little one. I don't ever see us setting a time limit on ttc unless we are nearing our late 30's. Right now I am 28 and DH is 31 so we have plenty of time.

I think how many losses each couple is willing to go through and how long each couple wants to ttc is a deeply personal decision.

megs2011 · November 2013

I've always had a timeline of stopping at 30. We started trying for #1 in Nov 2011 and we got pregnant with #1 (& surprise #2) in Feb 2012 (I was 27 and DH was 30). We agreed on 2 but now we are thinking 3. I think that if I'm not pregnant by my 30th bday (I'm 28 now), we will be done with our 2 beautiful girls.

mmb248 · November 2013

We're currently NTNP until after the holidays. We were on vacation when this cycle started and I don't want to start injectables during the holidays.

I completely understand your hesitation. There's a 7 year gap between me and my sister. My mother had several miscarriages between us. After her last loss at 18 weeks she decided to have her tubes tied because she couldn't handle any more losses. She found out she was pregnant during her pre-surgical consult while my dad and I were at a car dealership buying her a sports car. Best damn surprise ever... baby sister not the car.

ap142193 · November 2013

I would rather not give birth in the summer or December, because of my work schedike, but at this point we wont be skioping any months unless DH appens to be out of town for work during my fertile time. We havent talked about when we might quit trying, but if we cant have our own we will adppt.

MrsMac613 · November 2013

We will be trying from Nov when DH gets back from overseas until Feb. Then we will stop until mid-late 2015 due to him going back overseas Dec 2014. We don't want to risk him not being here for the birth of our first child.

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