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Blindsided

mingaling2mingaling2 member
in Late Term and Child Loss
I was blindsided today by a former coworker.  Initially I had been avoiding her text messages because I was getting the feeling that she would say some hurtful things.  Well, I was right. She came to my office unannounced with flowers and a card, which was sweet.  What wasn't was all the painful things she said.  They were everything that you shouldn't say to someone who's lost a child, ie. "you can always try again" and "I miss the happy you" and "we should go out when you are less miserable."  

I would just like to crawl into a hole right now.

 
EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
EDD 12/24/15

  
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Re: Blindsided

  • diamante1181diamante1181 member
    OMG I am so sorry. She should have just said hello, brought you these, and left. Seriously people are really stupid, and I am so sorry you had to endure that. Big hugs to you today
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
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  • BeanQueen83BeanQueen83 member
    I think sometimes only people who've experienced a loss really know the right things to say. I know people are trying to be helpful when they say stuff like "just relax and it'll happen" but it just makes me want to scream. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
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  • mingaling2mingaling2 member
    I'm so upset that I'm shaking.  I just sat there and thought "this isn't happening" like a zombie.

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • cawettigcawettig member
    Our therapist would try to warn us that there would be a lot of people who would say the wrong thing with out knowing they are hurting you. I hated it when I would hear people say those things to me. I just wanted to scream at them and tell them off. Hugs your way I am so sorry she said that to you.

    Julius Justin - 11/07/2002 - 10 lbs 22 in 
    Isabella Genavieve - 02/03/05 - 7 lbs 11 oz 22 in 
    Arianna Kaitlynn - 04/10/2013 - 4 lbs 15 oz 15 in

    BFP 08/10/13 
    TWINS!!!! 09/01/13
    Miscarriage at 12 weeks lost baby B 
    Arianna diagnosed with an Ompalocele at 13 weeks
    Arianna our Angel on 04/10/13 
    BFP 07/20/13
    Our Rainbow due 03/18/14 


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  • kz's_girlygirlkz's_girlygirl member
    GAH- people have no idea.  I'm so sorry you were ambushed!!  <3
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    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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  • jbranden12jbranden12 member
    I'm sorry you were ambushed like that. It's okay to be hurt and angry, even if she didn't mean to be cruel. 


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
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  • mingaling2mingaling2 member
    I feel a little better after taking a walk and talking to DH.  Thank you for your kind words.  I just hurt so much.

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • stefugestefuge member
    ***LO ticker*** I am so sorry. Dealing with other people through all of this is sometimes as hard as dealing with our own grief.
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
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  • OSUWifey09OSUWifey09 member
    ***SIGGY***



    I'm so sorry you had to sit through that. It's incredible how people think that what they're saying is helpful, and it really isn't. You just want to scream, "You're not helping! Go away!" I hope you never have to deal with that type of situation again. *hugs*
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