"the talk" — The Bump
June 2013 Moms

"the talk"

I know it's way too early to really dwell on this, but, have you thought about how you are going to have the "sex talk" with your teenager? At what age do you plan on discussing birth control? If you have girls, are you going to have the "period" talk and the "sex" talk separately?

Sorry to be a PW, but Teen Mom was on, and since we're talking about fears today...

side note: the above statement is not a dig on teen motherhood. My mother was a teen mom.  I know we have some moms on the board who had babies very young, and I know you are all fabulous mothers.
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Re: "the talk"

  • The thought has crossed my mind and I break out in a sweat at it!


  • We agreed before we had Colton that if it is a boy, H will lead and if it is a girl I will lead the conversation but that we'd both be present and participate as a team.  But we will see how that goes.  

    as far as girlfriend/ boyfriend goes, I was already all judgy that Colton was holding hands with some older chick at day care...  Ugh.  I hope I don't become one of those horrible mom/ mils....  but I fear it is a real possibility... 

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  • I'm thinking Duggar style. Getting a doctorate will be easier than landing a date with our daughter! ;)
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  • For those parents who are petrified about having to talk to their kids about sex, there are some really good books that are icebreakers that you can read together. Making a little more clinical/factual might be helpful.

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    [Deleted User]
  • I will have the talk with dd whenever she seems ready and answer any questions she has as she grows up.

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  • I have no clue, I have too many baby issues to deal with. If I can get him to sleep anyway but nursing while swaddled by the time he's two I will give the sex talk some thought ;)
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  • I will probably give my version after her father gives her his version. lol.  Mine will be reality, his will consist of talking about shotguns a great deal probably.

    He already is scoping the neighborhood for young boys realizing they will be who she's sneaking out of her window at night to see. :) 
  • I am on the same page as Grace. It will be an ongoing conversation starting with learning proper names for private parts, anatomy and build over time. I see us having a few big/more serious sex talks when she has her period, starts dating, goes to high school/college, etc. This is how my mom was with me. On the opposite spectrum, my DH never had the talk with his parents. They gave him a book when he was 12 (he was pissed because he really wanted a Nintendo) and that was it.
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  • I think it's an evolving talk.

    However, I have told her we are already in talks for her future husband selection, so this shouldn't be a problem
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    [Deleted User]
  • Actual sex talk....we are going through it now with my 13 year old. He's known about it for a while now...but there is still lots to cover.

    If I had a girl...it would be easier for me. I'm leaving it up to his dad and MH to talk to him about certain stuff.
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    [Deleted User]
  • I fully plan on having the talk with DD and have DH talk with DS. So far DD has learned the proper names for private parts... except she calls hers her "gina".
    That's what I call mine, too! ;)
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    [Deleted User]
  • I like the idea of an open, evolving conversation as they grow. As far as getting into the "real" sh*t (aka having sex), I think 12-13 is an appropriate age. I don't want my DD to start being sexually active at 15-16, but I'm not naive. I lost my v card at 19, and I was about as goody goody as they come.

    Basically I want to handle it differently than my parents did. My mom pulled out the encyclopedia when I was 10. It was awful. I found out what sex was at 13 from a health book. I started masturbating when I was 12 and thought I was "sinning". I couldn't talk to my mom about anything. I started my period a week before I turned 12 and was devastated. I was supposed to go to a water park with my cousin. I had to buy/teach myself about tampons cause my mom said they weren't for virgins. She also said I was "feeding myself trash" when she found cosmopolitan magazines in my room.

    Needless to say I will not be continuing this pattern as a parent.
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  • The thought of my husband giving my LO "the talk" actually kind of scares the crap out of me. Who knows how that would go. Lol. I have a feeling it will be me. Hoping we can all be pretty open about things, and he will feel he can ask questions without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. I never got "the talk" and somehow totally missed any sort of sex ed bc of switching schools. I still have questions!! ;-) LOL
  • Stef1210 said:

    @jo27key I'm sorry you had such a rough experience!

    I remember bugging my mom about it when I was about 5, and she finally caved and yelled "A man sticks his penis in a woman's vagina!" I can't help but laugh now. Poor mom.

    I'll be honest about it from the get-go, as soon as he asks. He might be confused, but I'd rather he hear it from me (or DH) than from other kids on the playground. I'll probably also talk to him about homosexuality and transgender at an early age. I don't want him to think there's anything taboo about sexuality, or worse, to think there's something wrong with homosexuality or transgender.

    This. All of it. And thanks for the sympathies, haha. I didn't turn out scarred or anything, and they are much less conservative as they have gotten older, but I still wish to this day that I could've had more open honest conversations with her instead of feeling like sexual curiosity was "bad" or "dirty". I guess mom did the best she knew how. I mean it's not like I want my daughter (or son) to tell me when/how they masturbate/have sex, but I don't want them to have guilt associated with it either, and I want them to be safe and smart about it.

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