Update on deadbeat roommate.. I need advice please

ZPinUpDoll · October 2013

For those who dont kno whats going on: DH's friend has stayed with us for 6 months. Paid rent twice and helped with food once. Can't keep a job..Has a family of his own.

My husband and I agreed if he didn't come up with at least $413 by the end of the month that we would kick him out. Well he MIGHT be able to come up with $100. And now for some reason my hub is okay with that saying "well it's more than I thought he was gonna come up with." We are struggling enough as it is with DH being the only one working.. I really want him out of here but I'm scared I'll be the bitch in all this.. I really need advice, I feel my stress level getting higher just talking about it.. Thanks for reading ladies

ramfan05 · October 2013

Well, first of all, I think your DH needs to commit to the agreement he made with you. It's not like this guy doesn't have anywhere else to go, and he needs to be with his family and taking care of them, not mooching off of you! I'm sorry you are dealing with this and that I don't have much advice, but I'm hoping that it works out for you soon!

PeachLove25 · October 2013

Not worth it. If you are going to have a family soon, he will need to be gone anyway. Sounds like DH needs to put in big boy pants and sit his friend down!! Out he goes!!!

ZPinUpDoll · October 2013

anji1820 said:
Is it just the friend, or his family staying with you, too? If it is just the friend, I think your husband needs to stick with the agreement of the $413 that he made. Especially with your own little one on the way, the situation needs to be taken care of now, not when you have a newborn to care for. You aren't being a bitch at all in this situation. My DH and I had a roommate (he already lived with my husband when I moved in) and when we got pregnant I told DH to let him know he would have to look at other options. Luckily, DH agreed, and we needed the room as well, so the roommate is gone now. The roommate was fine, paid rent, friendly, quiet, but it is so much nicer to have him gone. I hope things work out with your situation!

It's just him here. His wife and three children live with her parents and sister. Sister in law and him "don't get along".

WookieesCookies · October 2013

We were in a situation like this. When we first moved here, DH had a friend/co-worker who was going through a divorce and his new apartment was not going to be ready for a while. I agreed to let him stay, thinking it would be a couple weeks. We had a an extra room, so I was fine. Well a couple weeks turned into a month, which turned into 2 months which just kept going.

The problem was, this guy would not use the room we provided. He slept on the couch, I was not working at the time, and he was working the opposite shift as my husband. I was home alone with this guy all the time and he was using my living room as his bedroom. Stuff all over the living room, dirty clothes, everything he owned. He spent all his time there playing video games. Turns out that he didn't even have anything lined up, and with a nice comfy place to live he wasn't trying to find anything. The guy even went and bought a big fat screen tv, to use in my living room. That told me he wasn't even planning on going anywhere.

That was the last straw for me. The stupid tv. At that point I was totally ok with looking like the bitch. I wanted him out of my house and he was going to leave. I told my husband "do what you have to do". I told him act like I threw the biggest scariest fit ever, tell him I'm throwing his things out on the lawn in the rain and smashing his tv if it's not out of the house within 24 hours. He got to keep his friend and not look like a bad friend, I got the guy out of my house. Be the bitch, it'll be ok.

TM14.defunct635821369925797514 · October 2013

ZPinUpDoll said:

Is it just the friend, or his family staying with you, too? If it is just the friend, I think your husband needs to stick with the agreement of the $413 that he made. Especially with your own little one on the way, the situation needs to be taken care of now, not when you have a newborn to care for. You aren't being a bitch at all in this situation. My DH and I had a roommate (he already lived with my husband when I moved in) and when we got pregnant I told DH to let him know he would have to look at other options. Luckily, DH agreed, and we needed the room as well, so the roommate is gone now. The roommate was fine, paid rent, friendly, quiet, but it is so much nicer to have him gone. I hope things work out with your situation!
It's just him here. His wife and three children live with her parents and sister. Sister in law and him "don't get along".

I don't usually get into things like this, but he should suck it up and get along with his sister in law for the sake of his own family. And he needs to stop mooching off of you and yours. You don't need it with a baby on the way, and a family of your own to worry about..

Mazingmommyof6 · October 2013

I'm not being mean but my experience is people who cave like that will always cave. It's probably very hard for him to be the bad guy. You might notice this when you kids get older. Tell him you'll be the bitch if he can't bring himself to do it.

ZPinUpDoll · October 2013

Thank you everyone who commented. Looks like im gonna be a bitch tonight. LoI, I admire yalls bitchiness!! It gets things done from the looks of it

mythaldo · October 2013

I say DH needs to keep your original agreement. If the friend acts like a douche about it and doesn't understand how he's putting your guys out, then you're better off getting rid of him sooner rather than later, because he's not being a good friend. Good luck getting rid of the mooch!

slwprincess · October 2013

Be the bitch and kick him out. I'm sorry, but I have ZERO patience for moochers.

keags5496 · October 2013

My first thought was about his plans when LO arrives? Does he plan to stay with you then? I personally wouldn't be ok with that and would be working to get him out sooner rather than later.

LetoileDuNord · October 2013

I agree with everyone's comments except I don't think asking him to leave makes you look like a bitch at all! You've taken care of this adult man long enough and your husband should honor your agreement.

Cerisrichard · October 2013

Could you agree with your husband a date he needs to move out by and then give him 1 or 2 months notice. I know it's harder on you but that wAy you can use the argument of needing him gone before baby comes rather than making it about money... And he will have time to make other arrangements. We had to do this a couple if years ago with a friend, he did miss the deadline but only by 1. Day!

If he's still there by the date when you agreed he should be gone kick him out, or contact his wife and get her to do it. This should really not have to be your problem! And he doesn't sound like a very good friend to me.

Noethola · October 2013

If he is eating your food and using your utilities, he is probably costing you more than $100 a month. Time to put your foot down and cut him loose to the world. I would give him a date to move out by.

You are not his parents, and neither are you obligated to care for a grown man.. I know its hard when its a friend, but you just have to be honest with him. When we were expecting our daughter we had one of DHs friend's with us for 6 months. I was stressing out because the baby was coming so finally we just gave him a time to move by.

jenniejuniper1 · October 2013

I'm all for kindness, helping people out, and giving them a second chance, but this guy has taken things WAY too far. People fall down in life and need a helping hand sometimes, but this grown man should be ashamed of himself for mooching off his friends like a wayward adolescent for so long.. especially when there are other things to consider, like his OWN kids, and the fact that you have a baby on the way!

If your DH really wants to be a good friend, he'd put his foot down. He's not doing his pal any favours by letting him continue on this way. He needs motivation to get his act together and man up - maybe then he'd feel good about himself, instead of being Moochy McMoochersons and stressing you guys out!

micaelasmakeup · October 2013

Seems like the SIL is getting to be the bitch with the benefits. Actually his wife too!
You are being the nice guy with the suffering. Time to turn to team bitch;)!

Mazingmommyof6 · October 2013

Checking in to see how everything went?

Update on deadbeat roommate.. I need advice please

Re: Update on deadbeat roommate.. I need advice please

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