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Nanny bringing their own child...

docco11docco11 member
in Working Moms
I am a FTM thst WFH and am looking to hire a nanny to care for our LO.  We were orginally looking into a nanny share, we want our LO to still have interaction with others for social development.  We have been in contact with a great indiviual who would like to bring her 2 year old with her to watch our LO. She is willing to reduce her rate if she can bring her LO as well, the LO is 2 year old. 

My question, has anyone done thus? Are there any questions I should ask that relates to this arrangement? As I WFH, I'll know if my LO is being negelected,etc.

TIA!!
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Re: Nanny bringing their own child...

  • MammaBear81MammaBear81 member
    What is the "back up plan" if her child is sick? If she is coming to your house is she bringing food for her LO? (I only ask because we provide food for our nanny, but I wouldn't be feeding the child if they had one).  Has she cared for two kids at the same time before?
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  • docco11docco11 member
    great questions....I have a back up sitter, an adoptive'grandmother' who watches her own grandchildren and offered to watch our LO but I dont like mixing business and personal relationships so Ive asked her to be our back up.

    The nanny would be responsible for her LO's food.
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  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member

    Personally, I would put it on her to find appropriate back-up care if her child is sick, or cannot come for some reason. I would only want to have to deal with using my back-up care if the nanny was sick, or needed the day off for some reason.

     

     

     

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  • docco11docco11 member
    Good point.  But, if her child is sick and she is exposed to it, do I really want her around my LO even more?  But its a very good point to think about.
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  • AllibobAllibob member
    I have a nanny share who brings her granddaughter. She started school this year so she's only here in the afternoons now, but it's been great for us. My daughter loves having a playmate, and she is so sweet with my daughter. I think a lot depends on the kid. If she had a wild child tearing your house apart or being rough with your kid, it would be a no. If the kids get along it can be wonderful. I just wouldn't rule it out.
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  • MickeyM04MickeyM04 member

    We have a nanny who brings her son (almost 4, but they've been with us for a year, so he was 2 when they started).  It's worked really well for us.  DS loves her son, and every time the garage door opens, he says his name repeatedly because he thinks he's coming (no matter whether it's the weekend, nighttime, whatever). 

    How it has worked for us is if her son has something like a cold or something minor, we just let her bring him along still.  DS is going to get sick, and if he was in daycare he'd get sick all the time, so if he gets a cold once in awhile it's to be expected.  If he gets a fever or something, her husband stays home with him or her mom, or she arranges care for her son so she can still come over.  If DS is sick, she still comes and brings her son, unless it's something crazy bad, and then she will either stay home with her son or arrange back up care for her son, but traditionally when DS is sick they still come over. It's very comparable to daycare--you can't bring them in when they have a fever/rash/whatever, anyway, so you have to take off those days usually, and with a nanny with a kid, there's generally a few of those days as well where one has something other than a cold that you don't want the other one to get and there might have to be a situation where you get back-up care or stay home from work, same as you would if your kid was in daycare.

    Our nanny brings her own food for herself and her son, but there is some sharing as well...DS always wants what everyone else is eating, so they share their stuff if we don't have it available for him, and likewise, if DS is having cookies or whatever that her son wants, he's welcome to have some as well. 

    They do go on outings together, especially because our nanny's son is in preschool 2 days a week.  We are really flexible and trust our nanny to take DS and her son wherever is appropriate--play places, the zoo, whatever.  I know a lot of people insist on schedules but I don't like to micromanage.  I work 55 hours a week and don't have time for multiple phone calls a day to check in and see if it's OK if DS goes wherever.

    We do give a weekly allowance for our nanny to spend on DS...lunch out, the play places, whatever, and she knows that the money is for DS and not for her son.  Although he's like a member of the family now so we are always bringing him treats when we bring stuff home for DS anyway.  There's a lot of overlap.

    Plus, it's GREAT socialization for DS.  We really love it. 

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  • Carnation77Carnation77 member
    When we were looking into nannies a lot of people asked to do this.  I always said no because I was concerned about the liability exposure of their child getting injured in my house.  What if the child chokes on something you left out?  Drinks something poisonous?  Electrocutes him or herself?  Falls?
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  • docco11docco11 member
    Good point.  We have a pool too so I would have that to think about.  Such decisions...
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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    You would have the same safety issue with a nanny share. I think this could be addressed with a well-written contract and common sense.
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  • Glow360Glow360 member
    The best answer is to say no, firstly because she is going to be paying attention to her child and not yours. Two year old require all of you. I hirred someone with a child and it was a nightmare. 
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  • IblamethebeerIblamethebeer member
    My sister in law has done this for the past two years, and it's been great for her family. Her daughter gets the part-time benefits of an older sibling and b/c the nanny is a mom, she is very well clued in to activities, games, events, etc that are age appropriate.

    I think the idea that someone will ignore your kid and focus on her own only applies if she's a bad nanny.  A good nanny can divide attention, just like she would if she was working for a family with two kids or a nanny share.
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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    I think it is so silly to assume a nanny will neglect your child if she brings her own. I know many women who care for other children along with their own. They bond with the other children and they become like family. There are many ways to arrange safe, loving care for our children while we work. OP, good luck with whatever you decide.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • MargyLizMargyLiz member
    I have a nanny who brings her two children along to care for my two girls. It's perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way. We first met her as she was running a home daycare. Her situation changed and she had to close her home daycare. When this happened, she and her kids had already formed such a bond with mine that she offered to provide us with nanny services at the same rate. In any case, I wouldn't be concerned about the nanny not paying enough attention to your child. My LO has thrived as a result of being with our nanny and her daughter. In fact, I think my oldest is more engaged in learning as a result of having the other little girl around as she loves and wants to emulate her.

    Good luck with your decision!
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