Ferber Method??? — The Bump
June 2013 Moms

Ferber Method???

Are you trying this? How long do you wait before going in to let baby know you are there? Is 4.5 months a good time to try? Right now my LO wakes up every 2-3 hrs and needs to be bounced back to sleep every single time, often more than once. We're thinking about trying this. I'm open to your thoughts. I'm a FTM so thanks in advance

Re: Ferber Method???

  • I don't think even Dr. Ferber himself endorses that method anymore.

    Have you looked into Happiest Baby on the Block?


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    CCR630
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  • Following. We are in the same boat and this has been recommended to me by several people. My heart isn't ready to do anything yet, but my sleepless zombie brain thinks it might be the only way we are all going to get sleep. Additionally my chunker thinks he needs to eat every few hours at night so this adds another element to the mix.

    I'm also curious, for those who have successfully done this, how long it took to be effective....
  • CarolynL8 said:

    Im going through the wake ups too. I mentioned it to the pedi and he said its probably a growth spurt. He also warned me that Js sleeping patterns might suck again around 7-9 months. I cant let him cry it out. I let him fuss to see if he self soothes which he does sometimes by sucking his fingers. If he starts to get fussier i feed him.
    I also base it on the length of time since he woke up last. 1 hour usually means hes not hungry and he self soothes. 3 hours hes hungry. 2 hours can go either way.
    Im just rolling with the punches. He slept through the night (9 hrs) for 2 months before this wakeful period. Im hoping he will just randomly sleep through the night again one day.
    Sometimes babies just need to eat or need to be rocked. I dont have the heart to let him cry.

    I don't think I have the heart either, and I certainly don't have the heart not to feed him if he's hungry. I just wonder if this will ever end if I don't proactively try to change his pattern...?

  • WasNotWas said:



    Im going through the wake ups too. I mentioned it to the pedi and he said its probably a growth spurt. He also warned me that Js sleeping patterns might suck again around 7-9 months. I cant let him cry it out. I let him fuss to see if he self soothes which he does sometimes by sucking his fingers. If he starts to get fussier i feed him. I also base it on the length of time since he woke up last. 1 hour usually means hes not hungry and he self soothes. 3 hours hes hungry. 2 hours can go either way. Im just rolling with the punches. He slept through the night (9 hrs) for 2 months before this wakeful period. Im hoping he will just randomly sleep through the night again one day. Sometimes babies just need to eat or need to be rocked. I dont have the heart to let him cry.
    I don't think I have the heart either, and I certainly don't have the heart not to feed him if he's hungry. I just wonder if this will ever end if I don't proactively try to change his pattern...?
    Think of it this way, did you proactively get him to start rolling or moving around? babies change as their needs change. Trying to control them will drive you crazy!

    True and true. Guess after 4.5 months of not sleeping I'm starting to get desperate ;-) How do women function on such little sleep?! I don't function well. I'm weak. Lol. No but really...

  • Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book. I also liked Bringing Up Bebe. It's not a sleep training book, it just talks about watching babies closely and following their signals. Observing what they need instead of assuming you know. We got R to go from a 4-5 hour stretch to a 7-8 hour stretch by giving her her paci when she woke at 2-3 am instead of feeding. Now she sleeps through that feeding and wakes around 4-5. Sometimes 6 depending on when she falls asleep at night. We're planning on doing the same thing to help her move to sleeping through the night completely. 


    When you have the paci did she get upset bc it wasn't food? Ben has never really been a big paci guy and when we have tried this at night he just gets super ticked bc it's not food. I then give in and give him food. Just wondering if I should stick to my guns a little more with the paci...

  • DS has never slept longer then 5 hours & he's only done that a couple times. He eats every 2-3 hours at night. It sucks, but I know he'll figure it out eventually. He is truly hungry when he wakes up & I'm not about to deny him food. Just remember it doesn't last forever! Hang in there!


     
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  • I expect I'll be flamed for this, but we do it. LO has been STTN since 10 weeks and we had a lot of difficulty putting her in her crib without her waking up, so we put her down drowsy, let her fuss for a few minutes, and calm her down if she gets worked up. **we don't actually let her cry herself to exhaustion**
    We started a few weeks ago, and most nights she's asleep within minutes of being laid down. If she's overtired and really fussy we start over with nursing and put her back when she's drowsy. She turned 4 mos on the 25th.
  • momofcatanmomofcatan
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    edited October 2013
    A lot of people I know were very happy with the Ferber method. I'm not ready to take that step yet, I'm hoping she'll get through the sleep regression on her own. You won't find a lot of support for it on his board but on the general 3-6 or 6-9 moths board I think more people have done Ferber.

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  • Thanks for all of your thoughts and ideas. I haven't tried anything yet. I still nurse him to sleep and obviously I will feed my baby when he wakes up hungry. I just keep hearing that once he can put himself to sleep he'll sleep better/longer stretches. I don't expect him to sleep through the night yet I just pray that he'll go longer than 2-3 hrs soon. 
  • Honest answer: to see what she would do.
    Same reason as you try different bottles/nipples/pacis, different toys, different foods (when you feed them real food), because maybe they can deal with certain things and maybe they can't. I'm not saying that its right for everyone, or that you should all try it starting tonight. I think it is right for us and our baby, and I respect your opinion and decision with regards to parenting your child as you see fit :)
    [Deleted User]abbity
  • CarolynL8 said:
    I dont consider letting a baby fuss the same thing. I let J fuss and sometimes he soothes himself, sometimes he gets worked up so i run in and soothe him. I think letting them cry and cry and cry is wrong. Fussing is ok. (in my book anyway)

    That's pretty much what we do once she's in the crib. It's funny because now most nights she doesn't fuss anymore, she talks herself to sleep.
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  • I have a midwife coming to my house next week. It's from a group called tressilian here in Sydney. I'm hoping they can offer me some suggestions to get our lo settled and a restful sleep. They don't believe in sleep training until 6 months so I'm curious what they will suggest. Here is the website if you want to see what they are about. It's a free service which is great.

    http://www.tresillian.net/tresillian-tips/settling-techniques-newborn-12-months.html
  • Honest answer: to see what she would do.

    Same reason as you try different bottles/nipples/pacis, different toys, different foods (when you feed them real food), because maybe they can deal with certain things and maybe they can't. I'm not saying that its right for everyone, or that you should all try it starting tonight. I think it is right for us and our baby, and I respect your opinion and decision with regards to parenting your child as you see fit :)

    I wouldn't consider letting them fuss for a few minutes in the realm of sleep training or ferberizing. I let E fuss for five minutes if she wakes up and I know she's not hungry or wet. Usually she'll go back to sleep on her own, but if she continues for longer then I pick her up and nurse her back to sleep. This has worked well for us since she was about 3 months old. I think it is important to give them those small opportunities to self soothe at this age so that we don't have to resort to CIO when they hit 6 months. I hope I didn't offend you with my response. I just know that some of us are going through a difficult time with the sleep regression, so it can feel like a last resort, and I'm not totally against sleep training. I just meant that you might be making it harder on yourself by trying it in the middle of a wonder week.

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  • @jo27key totally not offended. I know that everyone's babe is different, and I do really feel for the mamas who are dealing with sleep regression as we have yet to run into that (I don't even know what a wonder week is), but I remember the newborn weeks very well with respect to disrupted sleep. I think a lot of people equate the Ferber method with just letting them cry until they fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, which is not true. I don't know that there is a "best time" other than when you're ready to try it & baby is old enough - like with solid food. I hope you weren't offended by my answer either.
    TheTamedShrew
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