To tell or not to tell...

TJ1979 · October 2013

That is the question!

I had planned to tell after my NT scan which my RE requested be done this week. But his nurse is an idiot and didn't schedule it until 11/11 (13w4d) and didn't call to tell me it had been scheduled. By the time I called her and asked what the deal was, it was too late to try to reschedule.
I'm DYING to get the news out there, and am starting to get a little belly. I'd rather people know it's baby belly not chub. BUT... IF an pgal brain makes it so hard to tell. What if we get bad news at the nt scan? Is waiting 2 more weeks really that bad?
My mom is also DYING to tell her BFF. And she emails every other day asking if she can tell yet, and what's the difference between now and later.
WWSAIFD?

CarrieB. · October 2013

I would see if they could move up your apt first! But I would wait until after the NT scan to tell.

phishgirl29 · October 2013

I wouldn't tell, but I'm not a sharer. I never did a FB announcement and keep O off there as much as possible! We didn't tell MIL until I was 16 weeks!

kzawisl · October 2013

We told my mom ASAP, but she knew we were cycling. We waited til 8 weeks to tell my in laws, and waited until after first tri to tell everyone else. I would let your mom tell her BFF, but that's just me, because I k ow my mom blabbed to her BFF immediately.

imoverit · October 2013

Maybe let your mom tell her BFF but wait a little longer to tell the rest. Im reserved that way.

Ruthie04 · October 2013

I waited to 13w, but was already sporting a belly. So, when I told my boss she said, "Umm, yeah. I already knew." I am also not all about FB announcements, group emails, etc., so I wasn't all about screaming it from the rooftops anyway.

ETA: I did tell my family in first tri, as they knew I'd been cycling. That was actually different for me since I hadn't told them with my miscarriage. I wanted to get the excitement of telling part- even if I didn't get take home babies from the pregnancy. But, it all worked out!!

TJ1979 · October 2013

CarrieB. said:
I would see if they could move up your apt first! But I would wait until after the NT scan to tell.

No moving it up

The u/s tech is out all next week and she waited too long to schedule it this week. It was actually a ton of drama and I'm glad I graduated bc I probably would have left over this.

TJ1979 · October 2013

kzawisl said:
We told my mom ASAP, but she knew we were cycling. We waited til 8 weeks to tell my in laws, and waited until after first tri to tell everyone else. I would let your mom tell her BFF, but that's just me, because I k ow my mom blabbed to her BFF immediately.

My mom's BFF is a huge blabber mouth. As soon as she knows, everyone will know. It's torturing my mom but everyone knows her BFF can't keep a secret b

TJ1979 · October 2013

Ok. That's what I wanted to do... Wait. But mom had me feeling guilty. I'm glad you all mostly agree with me. I feel better now.

ELF4321 · October 2013

We didn't even tell our families until 15w, so I would probably wait.

pb_bride · October 2013

I"m sorry they couldn't move your U/S date up.

I'm AMA so I didn't tell anyone (except immediate family) until after my 18w A/S.

AKB090609 · October 2013

We didn't tell anyone until 22 weeks, we would have waited longer, but we were seeing family then and it was getting dificult to hide.

FB didn't know until she was born.

We will likely do the same thing when we have a second, it was fun having a secret.

TJ1979 · October 2013

I'm not on fb (shocking!) so I'm really just trying to figure out what to do at work. I need time off for appts and will be showing soon. But I'm still too nervous.

mcgeeva · October 2013

I told only my mom early and best friend everyone after my Nt. Wanted to makes sure everything was okay. But do what makes you happy!

Ruthie04 · October 2013

TJ1979 said:
I'm not on fb (shocking!) so I'm really just trying to figure out what to do at work. I need time off for appts and will be showing soon. But I'm still too nervous.

You are my hero. DH doesn't do it either. I want to delete my FB account, but I'm such a stalker

. I need a more active social life!!

Mrs.AmyDylan · October 2013

I would wait, but That is just me. You are able to find the hb on the Doppler, right? I never announced on FB until J was about a month old.

pb_bride · October 2013

TJ1979 said:

I'm not on fb (shocking!) so I'm really just trying to figure out what to do at work. I need time off for appts and will be showing soon. But I'm still too nervous.

Do you have mostly male or female colleagues? I find men pretty oblivious to it, while women are much more observant. Now that it's fall weather, can you hide your bump with chunky sweaters?

Are your colleagues generally polite people? They may speculate all they want, but hopefully none of them will have the audacity to ask you out right before you are ready to tell.

TJ1979 · October 2013

@pb_bride My team is all women right now. They are super sweet and very family oriented. But we are close enough that I would not be surprised if someone asked. Also, fall in Texas =/= sweaters, haha. We're still in t shirts.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · October 2013

I think you should just tell because it sounds like that is what you want to do.

The NT scan is optional here so if I didn't elect to do it I would have told at 12wks. Since we are doing it, we are going to wait till after the NT scan.

With DS I never announced, but I did get called out at work when I thought I was hiding it.

IBackBevo · October 2013

When did you last hear the HB or see LO on the ultrasound? If it has been recently (such that the chance of a loss would be very, very low), then I would probably go ahead and tell if you want to.

I have told my parents, in-laws, my paralegal and 2 or 3 close friends. I even just told my dad and paralegal just a few days ago after we had found the heartbeat twice with the home Doppler. I plan to wait until after the NT scan to announce on facebook. Actually, I am not really looking forward to announcing to the world at large...mainly because then I have to tell my boss and I am not looking forward to that.

mdiblasi10 · October 2013

If you want to wait, then wait

I always say to do what feels right for you. Especially if your Mom's BFF will blab to everyone!

Dragonfly1226 · October 2013

If it was me, I would wait. My mother also tried to pressure me into sharing the news before DH and I were ready. I told her that if she wanted to be supportive then she would stop badgering me about it and if she couldn't then we would just wait to share the news with her too next time. My first m/c was at 12 weeks after we had spread the news and it was devastating so that has definitely had a huge effect on my feelings about it. When I was pregnant with K&A I literally started to show at 8 weeks. I was able to cover it with baggy sweaters until about 12 weeks. It is a very personal decision. The thing is that there is no right answer - just the right answer for you.

BTW - I am so excited for you!!!

Robeano · November 2013

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Your mom shouldn't be pressuring you if you're not ready to share. Two weeks out of 40 is not a big deal!

Saraevh · November 2013

Well, I'm a bit crazy, but we didn't even tell my in-laws until 15 weeks with any of the kids, I told co-workers and my employer at 22 weeks (with my first) and never announced anything on FB until after my first two were born.

With this one I've surprisingly been more lax! I put a picture of our family on FB where I was noticeably pregnant at 30 weeks and we told our close friends around 18 weeks.

I'm kinda one of those people that really doesn't want anyone to know until after I have a healthy baby in my arms, but we all know that it's impossible not to tell once you start showing

If I were you I'd wait until after everything looked good at my NT scan, but I'm anxious like that.

Want a personalized experience?

To tell or not to tell...

Re: To tell or not to tell...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards