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November 2013 Moms
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Sister wants to be in delivery room...

AshleyF1234AshleyF1234 member
in November 2013 Moms
 So here's the deal. My older sister has made it overly clear that she wants to be in the delivery room when I give birth in a few weeks. I initially wanted it to be me and my husband... (Mom passed away years ago, otherwise it would be a different issue.) I'm not completely against the idea of having her in there. If I were going to have anyone else in there, I can't imagine anyone but her... I just thought it might be nice to share that moment with my husband. 

I get that its my choice, but the kicker is this: 10 years ago, when she gave birth to my niece, she let me be in the delivery room. It was just me and her husband for the birth of their first baby. I don't remember if we made a tit for tat deal at the time,... but she is under the impression that its only fair for her to be there too.

Thoughts?
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Re: Sister wants to be in delivery room...

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  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    I agree it's your call and what you're comfortable with. But I also see her point that she shared such a special moment with you so she might want to experience the same thing.
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  • ElreidElreid member
    My mom also passed away a long time ago and I know how hard it is. This is a hard time that women go through and getting advice from their mother and sharing this time is something every woman wants. I, also, have only one sister...I told her maybe the second time she could be in the room, but for the first one I wanted it to be a special moment between me and SO. She totally understood and she's only
    In college and has no babies, but maybe having her there for the second (if there is one) would be a better compromise
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  • drcolleendrcolleen member
    Rephrase the question: Do you want your sister in the delivery room with you?  

    If the answer is no - especially if she would not be supportive, calming or helpful- then you have no obligation to let her be there.  Some women want the support of another woman and family member, if that's you then having her there would not take anything away from DH's experience and may help him feel less on the spot.  FWIW I'm a loner/dominant alpha kind of person (e.g. never told my family about my first miscarriages but not because we aren't close)  so I have only had my DH with me each time and never had the question of having anyone else present, my family wouldn't think to ask me though.
    5/08- blighted ovum, spont ab; 2/20/09- epi, VAVD, Girl! breastfed 24mo; 10/10- blighted ovum, spon ab; 12/10- no fetal pole, Cytotec; 11/20/11- unmedicated SVD, Girl! breastfed 18mo; 11/7/13- unmedicated SVD, breastfed 18mo; 2/11/16- unmedicated SVD, exclusively pumping to at least a year.

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  • JaysonandKristinJaysonandKristin member
    3Dewdrops said:

    Your choice shouldn't be affected by the decision she chose years ago.  It's your time now!  

    Exactly.
    Prudence
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  • dobrydneydobrydney member
    Ten years ago is a long time.  Personally, I was 16 ten years ago when my brother's kids were born.  At the time and was at the hospital and watched my SIL's c-section but would not hesitate to tell her no about being in the delivery room if she brought it up.  I was a kid back then and am an adult now.  I don't know your age, but that might play into it as well.  Not to mention, it's your family--just because that is a decision she made you don't need to do the same.
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  • sands42sands42 member
    I really liked having my sister in the room... but I don't know how your guys sister relationship is. You can always just wait until it's happening and make up your mind based on how you feel then.

    If I had a change of heart I would've just told my sister to beat it, lol :)
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  • earlgreygirlearlgreygirl member
    I'd say it's your decision and your decision alone as to who you want to be in the room with you.  It's not like it's a wedding--- you don't have to feel obligated to invite some one to your wedding just because you went to theirs, same deal with the delivery room.  I say you get to call the shots!  

    My parents thought that they were going to be there when I am in labor/delivery and I put an end to that thought very quickly!  Each woman is different with what they feel comfortable with....
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