Dear PGAL brain

MickeyM04 · October 2013

I wrote one of these around this time when I was pregnant with DS, and I found it very cathartic, so in the hopes of reliving that moment, here goes:

Dear PGAL brain,

It's time to back down. I found out I was pregnant just over nine weeks ago, and since then I have had a combined two days of feeling like I am going to actually have a baby at the end of this pregnancy. The rest of the time I have been *certain* that something was wrong. I was positive I was going to go into the first ultrasound and there would be an empty sac again. I was positive I was going to go into the second u/s and there would be no HB. I have been positive that I will have a m/c between the NT scan and my next appointment next week. Every time my underwear feels damp, I am positive it is blood and not discharge.

You have been wrong every. single. time. Most people, when they are wrong SO MANY TIMES, learn to close their mouths so they don't look like complete idiots. But you? No, you insist on hitting me over the head with one bad thought after another. "Your bump should be bigger by now if baby is growing." "You should have felt movement by now." "Your pregnancy symptoms shouldn't have gone away already." You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong.

I am tired of your constant negativity and your attempts to convince me at all times that I will not take this baby home. I am tired of you letting me have ONE good day after each appointment, if that, to feel confident, only to then remind me that certainly the heart could have stopped beating in the last 24 hours. Who do you think you are? You're not G-d. You don't know everything before it happens. And that's been proven. And I'm not going to listen to you anymore. I'm done with you.

You know how they say, "It's not you, it's me?" Well it is you. This isn't working for me anymore. I've had enough. You can pack your bags. I want you gone by the end of the day. Don't call. Don't write. Just leave me the F alone. You and I, we're done here.

Sincerely,

Peanut

JessicaG220 · October 2013

Haha I love this! I feel like I could have written this letter. Sorry you're feeling so frustrated and scared. I had a late loss, so I am feeling ok for now... But when 30 weeks comes around, I will be a total wreck! And of course, in my mind I am saying *if* I get to 30 weeks. Ugh. Agreed 100% PgAL brain, go away!

Pixiesmom73 · October 2013

Well written and I fully agree that PGAL brain can go F*** off for the remainder of pregnancy!!

meli1025 · October 2013

Haha. Very good!!! I would like to banish PgAL brain too.

lv2011 · October 2013

Spot. On. I agree with every word.

porterlove525 · October 2013

Yeah, shut the f up PgAL brain. Let Peanut enjoy this pregancy

These words are so perfect for so many of us. Thank you for sharing. FX that PgAL brain fades away into the shadows for good now!!

ktwils2010 · October 2013

This is perfectly worded, I agree completely!

ksyknelvr73 · October 2013

So, so true. PGAL brain is a big asshole.

MollySm · October 2013

Excellent!

MrsWallick · October 2013

I love this! Perfect balance of true gritty feelings and humor! I'm trying so hard to get rid of PgAL brain as well but I'm not having much success. I'm going to have to reread this in the morning when she takes over again. But I'm gonna try really hard to tell her f*** off for good!! Thank you for this!

Havlous · October 2013

Very well written. I LOVE this & agree with it 1,000 %.

Dear PGAL brain

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