I want to give up

lolob45 · October 2013

DD will be 3wks on Thursday and I'm having a moment. Today she wants to nurse almost every hour. Between nursing and pumping for a wedding I'm in this weekend I am literally going to lose it. I have slept 30min tonight and have been up with her now for 3 hours. She can't be satisfied and just wants the boob. I don't know how anyone gets past the hump of the early days.

I can't imagine giving her formula so soon but I also don't know how I can keep this up. I feel like I'm getting sick from the sleep deprivation and I'm so beyond worn out. Please, any tips to survive the early weeks will be much appreciated.

suv75 · October 2013

Hang in there mama! She is going thru a temporary growth spurt. Will get better in few days. The frequent nursing is increasing your milk production. It gets easier, I promise you.

Mmm79 · October 2013

You are doing great! Are you getting sleep whenever you can? Seriously, ignore everything else and concentrate on nursing, sleeping and drinking water/eating. Are others around to help you? If so, hand off the baby as soon as nursing ends- even if you just get 30 minutes rest it will help. Others can change diapers, do laundry. Eat healthy snacks while nursing. Use disposable plates and cups to eliminate dishes.

And you are in a wedding at 3 weeks postpartum? That sounds really challenging. Must you go/participate?

camedowncrushing · October 2013

I am sorry. It is hard work! My LC said "never quit on a bad day." Hang in there! You can do it!

jerseygirl81 · October 2013

Hang in there, it will get better soon. I know, easier said than done, but while it feels like each day is an eternity, it will be better before you know it.

YellowLily2013 · October 2013

Hang in there mama! I promise it gets better!
Also, take your baby to the wedding nurse her / that takes away your stress of needing to pump. And you can get extra sleep now! Also, it must be hard to get much milk pumping during a growth spurt! And you risk getting an oversupply if you do.

Do you *have* to be in the wedding? I've heard other ladies on this board who've done it with help. Like DH having the baby and helping take off non nursing friendly dress in the car to nurse between photos and the event.

I attended a wedding with a 9 day old an was able to use the brides room to nurse in during the reception. And we cut out early too.

However much you love this couple. Don't let it ruin your bfing relationship! It's very fragile in the beginning.

Could your DH give a night time bottle so you can sleep a little longer?

momofcatan · October 2013

It's short term pain for long term gain. It will be over soon, don't give up! Can someone just bring you LO to nurse at the wedding. I was in a wedding 1 month PP and I had my mom come and sit with LO in the hall so I just came out and nursed her when I needed to and enjoyed the wedding.

JJ_13 · October 2013

Hang in there. This too shall pass and you will regret giving up at this point - it sounds totally normal to me! I would consider finding a safe way to co-sleep (this does NOT mean you'll be co-sleeping years, or even weeks, from now if you don't want to!), and if at all possible, I would not go to taht wedding - yikes! Do you really have to? If so, I would bring baby and a caretaker with you, have caretaker keep LO in a hotel room (or nearby place) and go to LO every hour or two (remember to wash your hands too!).

mrscountry527 · October 2013

Have someone else give her a bottle of expressed milk while you catch some sleep. Also, maybe she's not really hungry every hour but is instead overtired? My LO does this in the afternoon if I don't catch his tired cues early enough. Then it takes much longer and another nursing session to get him to sleep.

RootBeer29 · October 2013

The 3 week growth spurt was the worst for us. It will get better soon, I promise.

kkmlafferty · October 2013

Definitely don't let pumping for the wedding ruin breastfeeding for you! At 3 weeks you are in a growth spurt so trying to pump is really hard because your LO is working to increase your supply and needs the extra milk but when you pump you are taking away some of the milk your LO needs. If you could stop doing all of that and make different plans for the wedding so that your LO could be there for feedings it would make your life easier right now. We had so many struggles in the beginning and now at 4 months I am so glad we made it because it's a million times easier.

pinottoparenthood · October 2013

Your baby is three weeks old! I understand that you have t do what you have to d, but seriously you don't need t be messing with the pump at all right now! I would just focus on nursing baby. Snuggle, male while you nurse, watch tv or read a book, have someone bring you food.... Seriously, nursing is your life at first, so just embrace it and let everything else go. I remember days where I seriously felt like I didn't even set my baby down a,, day, but I promise it gets much easier. And have truly loved nursing my baby, so don't give up yet!

82Sonia · October 2013

It will get so much easier, I promise! I wished someone would have told me how hard the first month of breastfeeding was and that it would get better.

jess9802 · October 2013

Those early growth spurts are brutal. They also don't last. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Big hugs. My son struggled to latch for the first month and so after every nursing session I'd have to offer a supplemental bottle and then pump for 20 minutes. It was terribly exhausting.

If she's not actively nursing but just wants to comfort suck, try a pacifier. Yes, I know - the fear is nipple confusion blah blah blah. The thing is, you need your sleep; exhaustion will not help your mental state or your milk production. If she's hungry, she won't take the pacifier. (At least my kid never would.) If she's just wanting to suck on something, well, there you go.

BTW: Co-sleeping in a chair or couch is more dangerous than co-sleeping in a bed. I did it too by accident - and then learned it's not safe.

normandyn7 · October 2013

It gets better! I had nights where I would just cry over DS because I was in so much pain and he wanted to constantly nurse. I'll admit I did give in and give him formula a couple times out of frustration. I've been having supply issues so I still supplement with formula every now and then. I'm not suggesting you do that of course. Just don't beat yourself up. The first couple weeks are pure survival. Sleep whenever you can. Don't worry about the dishes or the laundry. Literally nurse, sleep, and eat. That's it. You'll get through it. Don't quit out of frustration. I was ready to quit and I gave formula as a last resort and I don't regret it at all. My supply is getting better so I can pump more and I'm not having to give LO formula anymore. Just push through it.

rh10264706 · October 2013

I was in a wedding when my EBF baby was 4 weeks. My mom came to the wedding and hid out with the baby. She would text me when he needed to eat, and had one bottle of bm as back up if he needed to eat during the ceremony or pictures, really the only time I absolutely couldn't sneak away. Luckily for me the bride was awesome and totally accommodating or I wouldn't have been able to do it.

Also, IMO you are in the toughest period of bfing. It really does get better, especially after 6 weeks. You can do it!

MagPie 1986 · October 2013

Once you have enough pumped milk to cover you for the wedding, ditch the pump during a growth spurt. Focus on your baby and worry about building a stash later. You can do it!

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