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August 2011 Moms
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What's your opinion on this scenario?

amywalt1684amywalt1684 member
in August 2011 Moms
I heard this scenario on the radio this morning, what is your opinion?

A woman and a man get married, a few months later she gets pregnant as planned. Initially the husband is fully invested in the relationship and the pregnancy. As the months continue, the couple begins to go through a rough patch, fighting etc. The husband slowly becomes less involved, he doesn't come to any OB appointments, he doesn't come home for several hours after work and so on. When the wife is 9 months pregnant the husband leaves the home/marriage completely unannounced. She comes home to find his belongings gone and he un-friended her on Facebook. She finds out through a mutual friend that he has given up and wants nothing to do with her. She then goes on to give birth and bring the baby home by herself. Three months later the father still has had nothing to do with her or the baby, he has never inquired or tried to meet his baby. 

No all of the sudden his family, his mother in particular, is wanting to meet the baby and stay in touch.The wife's initial gut reaction was to deny any access to the baby unless it is through the father. Which obviously means the father would have to initiate his own contact to begin with. 

What is your opinion? Should the wife allow the ex-MIL to meet and have a relationship with the baby? Should the ex-MIL have to go through the son? Should the ex-MIL be allowed any relationship with the baby at all?
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Re: What's your opinion on this scenario?

  • NotSharknadoNotSharknado member
    Yes. They didn't leave the mom and baby. The father did. It's not fair to deny the baby's family.
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  • amywalt1684amywalt1684 member
    edited October 2013
    On the radio, most were adamant that the Grandma having a relationship was BS.

    I feel like there are always two sides to a story. The husband could have been saying horrible things about her to his family, including that she didn't want anyone to have a relationship with her baby. Or maybe the MIL was waiting for her son to initiate contact before stepping on his toes, after realizing this wasn't going to happen she made contact with her DIL.

    Also, just because your Ex is a deadbeat it doesn't mean that his whole family is. I feel like their baby might miss out on extended family relationships, PLUS who knows, the mom could even get some much needed family support from her Ex's family. 

    Now if the MIL is wacko and only creating unwanted stress and drama... that is a completely different story.
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  • fancefppfancefpp member
    It depends on the Mil. If she's a good, loving person, who thinks her son is totally in the wrong and wants to support her grand kid, then yes, she should see the baby. Even if I didn't care for her all that much, if she's a good role model and will love my LO then I would try to suck it up for LO. Family is important.
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