Keeping cool:advice needed

Texasmomma13 · October 2013

Hey Ladies!
I'd appreciate some advice on keeping you cool or staying calm when dealing with a screaming baby. I'm talking about a baby cries for no apparent reason and is inconsolable. It's not so bad when DH is home because I can hand her over and walk away for minute but he travels a lot. Sometimes when she's having a bad day I feel like I'm going insane. I've tried the 5 S's and all of the obvious fixes. I've even had to put her in her crib and walk away for a few minutes, but I hate doing that. So, if any of you have any tricks you do to stay calm, both for yourself and your baby, I would really like to hear them.
TIA

Emeraldeyed315 · October 2013

sometimes bringing her outside or taking a walk with her will calm her. and me.

Putting her in my wrap and dancing around:P

calling a friend to come hang out and help. with wine.

LEMSA · October 2013

I YouTube "baby got colic" and play it loud. That usually works. Get him down to his diaper, I take my shirt off and do skin to skin, wrap us in a blanket or whatever keeps us warm (Moby wrap works well).

I'll also put him on the changing table and lift his legs to try and get him to pass gas. Gripe water or gas drops.

Sometimes he just wants to be left alone. If I put him alone in the swing he's happy.

For myself, I just say little prayer that he's ok and not hurting. Or I'll take him outside. The fresh air helps his mood a lot too. Esp if we can find a patch of sun. I don't really care if the neighbors think I'm nuts.

Can you phone a friend? They can tolerate 10 mins of a crying baby while you regroup.

Ffrey1119 · October 2013

I found the wrap really helps lo loves being held tightly or swaddled tightly

I try different things so it's a change for lo changing a diaper changing clothes putting lo in different positions

My little likes baths so if it came down to it I might try a bath just for some relief

A long as you have done all you can and you know lo is fine it's okay to leave lo somewhere safe and just have a moment to get it together, I like to get a really chocolatey snack when I stress

toppingheyler · October 2013

I have a similar situation-DH is in the military and is gone training a lot-so I feel your pain! My little lady also likes to cry for unknown reasons. When all else fails, she gets a bath. She LOVES the water and although it makes a huge mess because she kicks the water EVERYWHERE, it gives me some time without her screaming in my ear. I also rock and sing the same song over and over again, which is really more for me than her because it gives me something to focus on other than the fact that no matter what I do I cannot get her to relax. She also enjoys to be placed in her car seat and in the stroller and then we "dance". I roll the stroller around the living room in circles-kind of difficult to explain without a video. At night when it is especially difficult due to lack of sleep, I stand next to the window with her and sway back and forth and just watch the lights and the neighborhood-we live on a military base about a half mile from the ocean so there is lots to look at, might not be so relaxing if the window doesn't look out on anything of interest. I hope this helps and you know you aren't alone!

LJUTCMommy · October 2013

You're definitely not alone. I have a fussy screamer and an H who works all the time.

I used to do car rides, but DD decided last month she hates the car seat. And after reading the flat spot thread, I was thinking I should be grateful DD is held upright 90% of the time, so she can't possibly develop a flat spot.

The new thing that calms her down in laying on her changing table and of course walking and bouncing around in the Ergo. There is no sitting down with this one. But as you said, sometimes nothing works.

When I'm at the end of my rope, I just repeat to myself: she can't cry forever. Eventually, it ends. Hang in there!

HermansWife · October 2013

I agree with previous posters about going outside. It's like magic with my LO

I've also called a friend, walked away for a few minutes, etc.

Hugs!

WheeLinTheSky3 · October 2013

sometimes I just cry right along with her until I can get the emotion out. Sometimes nothing I do helps but setting her in her swing works like a charm. Yesterday she was fussing in the house but she napped in her carseat outside just fine while I was next to her carving pumpkins with DS. The only tip I have if you cant hand her off is to take a deep breath, know its ok to be upset and frustrated and remember "this too shall pass". Youre not alone and I promise it gets better!

nnikki10 · October 2013

Does she like to be worn? Ill put dd in ktan and bounce on the exercise ball. Also if I'm about to lose it, I put her somewhere safe walk into guest room place face in pillow and scream. Don't feel guilty for putting LO down for a min. You're doing great momma this will pass.

magdalina.h · October 2013

I would put her in a safe place and walk away and remind myself that she's just a baby and scared. Scared as in she was inside for 9 months and she's only a few weeks old and the outside is scary.

Critter015 · October 2013

My DS has been a colicky baby and DH works very long hours. If he won't stop crying going outside usually helps, he especially likes walks in the stroller on rough terrain - the walk helps me too. He also likes baths but freaks out when I'm trying to dress him afterwards, so they can be counterproductive. I often stick him in the bouncer, turn on the vibrate, and bounce it with my foot while I eat ice cream and watch tv. If he's really inconsolable and I need a break I put him in the swing with the music on, shut the door, and go in another room for a few minutes. I tell myself that he's having something soothing happening even if he chooses not to respond to it so it isn't like I just laid him in the crib and left him to CIO. Hang in there!

youtubebeauties · October 2013

First, lots of ((hugs))!

My husband also works extra hours periodically, so I can appreciate feeling at your wits end with nobody around to hand off LO to. For me, I will put her in her bassinet, try walking around the house with her or nurse....sometimes I just have to cry along with her.

Do what feels best for you and LO...you're doing a GREAT job & keep your chin up!!

mommabmb · October 2013

My husband is a high shool coach. We actually have a group of "coach widows" that I lean on when I'm really frustrated.

Here's what I try, in the order: rocking, singing, wearing him, going for a walk, giving him a bath, going fr a drive... Call my mom.

Hugs! You're not alone! This isn't something I often struggle with, but when it happens boy is it rough. Keep your head up!!

sfeebs13 · October 2013

hugs!

AprilRaine · October 2013

I've had a few times like this when I've had to set him in his crib and walk away for a minute. I usually pour myself a glass of ice water, take deep breaths and look at his happy pictures on my phone, then go back once I've cooled down.
I've found that strapping him in his car seat and swinging it back & forth helps calm him down. Its also is a great way to burn some of my frustration.

BelhurstBride · October 2013

I'd take DD1 in the shower with me and we'd both cry.

BlueJewelM · October 2013

My husband works nights and sleeps days. So I understand. We haven't seen him since 6 on yesterday, he's sleeping now and goes in again at 6p. We won't see him until he wakes up tomorrow (around 4p maybe?). So I'm used to going 48 to 72 hour stretches without any help. It sucks.

Sometimes I put DS2 in his bouncer or bassinet and take a long shower. The water kind if drowns him out for a bit, but 98% of the time the sound of the bathroom fan and the water running calm him down.

There's no shame in just walking away for 10 minutes. It results in a calmer you, which is best for baby!

BellaOso · October 2013

Like PPs said:

1.) Wrap - we found Moby outward facing works the best
2.) Go outside to a park of weather permits - sit under a tree, my LO likes to watch the leaves
3.) Just don't be at home. Go to stores, walk around the mall, etc. Just move and see people and talk to adults. Remember that even if the baby is going buck wild crying they only hear it for a minute while you pass and never think about it again.
4.) Call friends. Say the following, "My baby cries all the time and I am losing it. Can you please come here and sit with me and listen to the crying?" They will. Real ones will. And somehow, your baby won't cry for part of the time they are there.
5.) We have a giant exercise ball. we hold her with her back to our chests and bounce for all we are worth. It usually works for several minutes and sometimes we manage to bounce her to sleep.
6.) Consider listening to head phones but keeping baby close. I would wrap LO in the Moby and vacuum and then clean the counters with my headphones on so I couldn't hear her.

Good luck. Remember - this too shall pass.

Rowcate · October 2013

This was much harder with DD. She is stubborn and would go for hours. This probably sounds a bit nutt, but singing helped. I would just sing ridiculous songs that I would make up as I went, usually about her. It would add humor to the situation which calmed me as well as distract her. She is now 3 1/2 and I still do it to her to calm her. With my baby boy, he is easier. Dancing always settles him. As pp's said, leave the house! It's amazing but a change in scenery can really be effective for both of you. Good luck and know you are not alone. It's been my experience that I am never given what I can't handle but these babies unfortunately must push to the absolute edge of what I can handle every so often.

BelhurstBride · October 2013

Rowcate said:

This was much harder with DD. She is stubborn and would go for hours. This probably sounds a bit nutt, but singing helped. I would just sing ridiculous songs that I would make up as I went, usually about her. It would add humor to the situation which calmed me as well as distract her. She is now 3 1/2 and I still do it to her to calm her. With my baby boy, he is easier. Dancing always settles him. As pp's said, leave the house! It's amazing but a change in scenery can really be effective for both of you. Good luck and know you are not alone. It's been my experience that I am never given what I can't handle but these babies unfortunately must push to the absolute edge of what I can handle every so often.

I used to sing Bob Marley's Three Little Birds to dd1. Haven't done it Ina year or so, but she remembers it and sings it to dd2!

Texasmomma13 · October 2013

Thanks ladies. I've tried pretty much everything suggested. Some work at times, some don't. I don't really have anyone I can call that doesn't work except my mil and she is just useless in this regard. she didn't even raise her own children so no way in hell I'm taking any parenting tips from her. At least I know I'm not alone in this and that I've tried pretty much everything there is to do. hopefully, this is a phase and won't last much longer. She's definitely better than a month ago so I'll just try to keep it together the best I can.

carrotcake06 · October 2013

If I can offer some hope since my two are a bit older - the fussy one really seems to turn a corner around 3months +/- a weeks or two. He smiled and cooed and didn't scream all the time. Turns out he's a pretty cool little dude.

It definitely is awful when they cry for no reason. I remember after getting him to finally stop and getting all of the kids into bed and laying my head on my pillow and closing my eyes, hearing that sound of baby crying reverberating in the back of my head. It just stays with you.

But it will get better. Promise.

AACaHa13 · October 2013

I am right there with you. I feel your pain! I was actually going to post and ask if any babies are still having witching hour. I've had a rough week because LO has been worse in the evenings. He is happy and smiley in the day time but as soon as 6:00 hits, he has a whole different personality. And lately nothing is working. DH walks inthe door after work and we together tackle a screaming baby. It's quite exhausting. He used to Calm down with a bath but this Week that changed. I've been doing the 5s's and trying everything.... Nothing seems to work but the 8:00 bedtime when he's just about screamed himself tired. I know how you feel just try to stay positive. Most nights I want to rip my hair out.

wifeyvana · October 2013

Baby wearing saved my sanity with my colicky first baby.

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