just a vent NSAIF

amd1982 · October 2013

i'm just frustrated with people who are apparently supposed to be friends. i hate to say it but i've sort of stopped caring and just am focusing on my children and dh. i can't keep up with all the crap...

quick background: a couple who we're "friends" with had a baby in April. They are both jewish so followed the tradition of not having a shower, but DH and I sent them some gifts anyway since she registered. i spent about $125, the same she spent for me at my shower. i never received a thank you note, which is fine, but also never even got a text or email as acknowledgement that she liked the gift. i know she received it since i saw her used it back in July at a get-together at a friends's house. it was at that friend's house that i saw her baby's announcement on the fridge - i had sent her an announcement of our twins birth, and she never sent me one of her daughter. ok, whatever i can get past that. dh just keeps saying "she's spacey like that, don't take it personally." hmm, well she had to get announcements done and send them around to a bunch of people she knows and skipped us, but again i'll take it.

fast forward to august, i emailed her and another couple friend of ours who recently had a baby too asking if they all wanted to get together. the girl i'm speaking of above didn't answer me for 3 weeks. ok, i can deal - even though i have twins, work full time, i can still find 5 min to check my email, but ok. the other friend answered right away saying they had family from out of town. no worries. then DH tells me Sunday that the four of them got together Saturday afternoon - never invited us, never texted or called, nothing. DH doesn't understand why i'm annoyed - i guess men are just different. i'm already over it - i figure if they don't want to see us, screw it. a mutual friend of ours says she thinks it's jealousy since this girl isn't handling being a mom very well and is annoyed that i seem to be handling well (i think it's total BS, but whatevs). anyway, thanks for listening to me vent. it's just tough since we moved to a new town and really don't know anyone. i was hoping our old friends would remain that way since we were all having kiddos at the same time but looks like some people just don't feel that way.

kmc84 · October 2013

it's tough sometimes! I'm sorry she is shrugging you off like that. In situations like this, men totally handle it differently! It's like two different worlds, lol!

kzawisl · October 2013

:-/ I'm sorry...she's certainly not treating you like a friend should be treated!

pb_bride · October 2013

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It certainly is tough and I don't blame you for feeling that you've been left out. Perhaps time for some new friends?

DH & I have been having a hard time with one of our couple friends (they're childless). I kept emailing them every month or two suggesting a get-together (sunday brunch), but they kept coming with excuses. Finally, the wife wrote back, in not so many words, saying that they much prefer to hang out with childless couples for dinners, and the weekend daytime hours are too precious for them to waste it on us. I'm like, whatever!!!!! Don't forget what you're like when you have kids yourselves!

JBDamonM · October 2013

I"m sorry.

No Thank You notes is a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE pet peave of mine. And when it's a good friend who does (n't) do it, it's that much worse.

Also, being shafted with plans is always a bad feeling - I get where you're coming from!

I hate when I feel that I"m growing apart from my friends but it seems to happen more often than not. Hope you meet some cool new people soon.

TJ1979 · October 2013

That sucks. Personally, I'd arite her off and be done. Not worth the drama.

mcgeeva · October 2013

Wow! Definitely time for new friends. I couldn't let all that roll off my back. Especially sounds like she doesn't want to respond or hang with you. Good friends don't act like that

amd1982 · October 2013

Thanks ladies. It just justifies my feelings. And yes - men are totally made of stone! Ha ha. As for the thank you notes jb, me too. I can't even handle no acknowledgement!

imoverit · October 2013

From what you described it sounds like those things were purposeful. Guys dont get it. So sorry. You dont need people like that in your life.

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