Harumph! What do you guys think?

jenniejuniper1 · October 2013

So my lovely sister announced a while back that she was throwing me a baby shower (my first baby! yay!) and inviting all of my nearest and dearest lady-friends and family. The thought of so many people that I love all in one room, celebrating a much-longed for pregnancy filled me with such cheesy, unbridled, no-regrets joy, that I've been eagerly anticipating it for months!

She was going to plan it for December, but with many of my friends coming in from out of town, we decided that late November might work better, since so many people are trapped for energy and resources in December with the holiday season coming up. Seemed like the kind thing to do.

Now here's the thing - The week of my baby shower in late November, I'll be 7 months pregnant exactly. The other day, an acquaintance of mine said, rather bluntly, that I shouldn't have my baby shower "that early" because I'll "jinx it". She knows that I'm PgAL, and I'm fairly certain I understand what she means by "jinx it."

I hate to say it, but her comment has taken me from eager, heartwarming anticipation to having the wind taken out of my sails. I was suddenly filled with doubts - IS it "too early"? We're only having it a month earlier than we normally would have so that guests don't have to be spread too thin with one more activity during the busy holiday season. I'm kind of bummed out, and now I'm wondering if I'm commiting a faux pas.

What do you guys think?

Mazingmommyof6 · October 2013

Your " friend" is a rude B word. That not too early. A lot of us are the first week of December. Your looking a week or two before us.

mlynn333 · October 2013

Don't let her get to you. I had my first shower already, and I'm pretty sure getting gifts from people who care about you has no impact on the health of your little one

. The holidays are making timing hard for a lot of us, and I wouldn't worry about it. Enjoy your shower!

magentawarped · October 2013

I say that your friend is a twatwaffle. Ignore her and her Negative Nancy attitude, surround yourself with loving, positive people, and enjoy your shower!

Dawizzle · October 2013

Not too early! That's when I am having mine and yeah I guess it's a tad early but that's just the way it played out with the holidays and I didn't want to be 36 weeks in January dealing with a shower and running around trying to buy things that I don't get, etc. Tons of people already have half of their nurseries filled by now!

As far as jinxing it, that's silly--and that was silly of her to say that! You'll be basically 3rd tri by then, as well as having passed the viability marker. Just tell her you think that having it later and therefor not having everyone you love be there is more of a "jinx" to you!

Dawizzle · October 2013

Holy crap in posting that and seeing my ticker I realized that I just hit 99 days...*gulp*

Suddenly a November shower doesn't seem "a tad early" at all!!

boogerbearoriginal · October 2013

Who says that to a person, PgAL or not? That's effing rude. Nevermind utterly ridiculous because, ummm, jinxes aren't real!

It's been my experience that 7-8m pregnant is when most people have their showers. So, I don't even think you're doing things super early anyway. She's an ass who needs to learn to not say every inane thought that comes into her brain.

Try not to let one idiot ruin your joy and focus on the positives you were so excited about before!

Beachmommy1029 · October 2013

Not too early and TP to that woman for putting those thoughts in your head. You enjoy your day with people who love you!

ashleyv013 · October 2013

I would be pretty upset with my friend...I mean, what are you supposed to do, wait until your water breaks and THEN throw the shower?? Like others have said, it's a weird time of year and December is so tricky...you're competing with holidays, work holiday parties, early family Christmases, etc. so I think November makes perfect sense. I'm having mine the weekend of the 23rd just because it's so much easier on everyone's schedule and I'm terrified to wait until January because it's my first pregnancy and I have no idea what to expect. I vote have your shower when YOU want to and you're not jinxing anything!!

RondackHiker · October 2013

What a bitch!

First, anytime in the last trimester is pretty standard for showers. Many moms want to be set up before 8 months so that would be seen as "late". Your shower isn't "so early". It's at a normal time for a shower. She's strange to think it's early. I could see a "that's early" comment if you were under 20 weeks, but you'll be 7 months. She's nuts. I've had two friends who weren't pregnant anymore at their 8 month shower. One's baby was in the NICU and the other came along. Both are perfectly healthy now. Preemies happen! Eight months could be "too late".

And who the hell talks about jinxing a pregnancy? That's just cruel. To hint to a mom she's going to do something that will mean she doesn't bring home a baby is sickening.

Jinxes aren't real. The timing of the shower will do NOTHING to your pregnancy or your baby. You're getting together to celebrate your baby and are in NO WAY risking your baby. There is no truth behind her bitchy statement.

NoelMarieFrey · October 2013

I don't know when my shower is, however I asked for it to be planned sometime in November or EARLY December because of the holidays. I don't think that its to early at all. As for your friend, what a inconsiderate thing to say to someone who has had a previous loss.

Enjoy your shower, and don't let anyone get in your way of that. It is YOUR day to celebrate becoming a mother. Please don't let her get in your head. She obviously doesn't manners, nor how to be a good friend to someone.

Jspagnuolo · October 2013

That is completely inappropriate and rude of her to say! Your shower is not too early at all. Please don't let her comment take over your excitement of your day... I'm sure the shower will be beautiful! Celebrate with your family and friends because you are certainly not "jinxing it"

jenniejuniper1 · October 2013

PHEW, okay, thanks so much everybody for your input!! It was one of those moments where everything's humming along just great, and you're so excited for something, and then BAM, someone throws a wrench in your wheels, and you don't know if they're right or if they're just an idiot trying to to rain on your parade. This FTM business can be confusing!

I think what this twatwaffle (lol) was hinting at, is that it would be foolish to have a room full of baby presents and a party if something shitty were to happen afterwards. Well, sometimes bad things happen, but often they DON'T - I know nothing is ever guaranteed in life, but I have no reason to fear for this pregnancy right now. I've already experienced my share of PgAL anxiety, thank you very much.

I feel so reassured now. Thanks a million, everyone. I'm not going to let anyone or anything steal my joy right now - bring on the baked goods and ridiculous games!! (and wine for all my girlfriends who have agreed to drink my share, hah)

pinkgrl84 · October 2013

Your not too early. Don't let her get to you, she is rude! Enjoy your shower!

C12H22O11 · October 2013

Your "friend" is ridiculous. DS was born just before Xmas and I had a shower the first week of Oct and again on Halloween. There was no way, logistically, I was going to try and have a shower any closer to the holidays. I actually preferred it early - that way, you have a chance to return things.

boogerbearoriginal · October 2013

jenniejuniper1 said:

PHEW, okay, thanks so much everybody for your input!! It was one of those moments where everything's humming along just great, and you're so excited for something, and then BAM, someone throws a wrench in your wheels, and you don't know if they're right or if they're just an idiot trying to to rain on your parade. This FTM business can be confusing!

I think what this twatwaffle (lol) was hinting at, is that it would be foolish to have a room full of baby presents and a party if something shitty were to happen afterwards. Well, sometimes bad things happen, but often they DON'T - I know nothing is ever guaranteed in life, but I have no reason to fear for this pregnancy right now. I've already experienced my share of PgAL anxiety, thank you very much.

I feel so reassured now. Thanks a million, everyone. I'm not going to let anyone or anything steal my joy right now - bring on the baked goods and ridiculous games!! (and wine for all my girlfriends who have agreed to drink my share, hah)

The thing is, seriously shitty things happen at all points in life, so to imply there's a point in pg where things are somehow guaranteed is just weird. But what made her comment even worse was to suggest you have some control over that happening. As if by having a party you're bringing on bad things, it is a really effed up thing to say in general but especially to someone who's suffered the loss of a child.

coffeyandyogapants · October 2013

umm what a B. She is rude and doesnt know what she is talking about. You are trying to be accomadating to your guests by having it not during the holidays. You should be excited and eager for it, and not worry about what other people have to say. Unfortunatley people always want to share their opinions with you, but dont let them ruin all the fun!

PeachLove25 · October 2013

That's when my sisters are planning mine! Tell your friend to shove it!

spicysurro · October 2013

Maybe its just a "wives tale" but Ive heard having your shower in the 7th month is good luck. Don't let someone ruin your exciting time.

cattuccino · October 2013

RondackHiker said:
What a bitch!

First, anytime in the last trimester is pretty standard for showers. Many moms want to be set up before 8 months so that would be seen as "late". Your shower isn't "so early". It's at a normal time for a shower. She's strange to think it's early. I could see a "that's early" comment if you were under 20 weeks, but you'll be 7 months. She's nuts. I've had two friends who weren't pregnant anymore at their 8 month shower. One's baby was in the NICU and the other came along. Both are perfectly healthy now. Preemies happen! Eight months could be "too late".

And who the hell talks about jinxing a pregnancy? That's just cruel. To hint to a mom she's going to do something that will mean she doesn't bring home a baby is sickening.

Jinxes aren't real. The timing of the shower will do NOTHING to your pregnancy or your baby. You're getting together to celebrate your baby and are in NO WAY risking your baby. There is no truth behind her bitchy statement.

I couldn't have said it better. My mom had me at 33 weeks. Definitely not "too early" for a shower.

ETA: enjoy your shower!!! Be excited again - put the wind back in those sails!

magentawarped · October 2013

As an aside, I'm really happy that I apparently started the "twatwaffle" train in this thread. I love that word, and feel that it's severely underused.

ZAngel · October 2013

Wow! Bless her heart. Sounds like someone needs to teach her how to put a sock in it. This peach really should keep her comments to herself. What an awful, negative person. I think 7 months is a good time for a shower. I hope you really enjoy your day.

Robynralston · October 2013

I agree with everyone else and let me add this: it's also supposed to be "bad luck" to see the bride before the wedding, but we took our pics before the ceremony because it was the right thing for us at the time. I didn't put the security if my marriage in the hands of an old wives tale and I wouldn't put the life of my child in those hands either! Here we are 6 years later happier and more in love than we were then, seeing each other before the ceremony had no effect on that what so ever. Our marriage is the result of love, faith, and hard work. I believe in God and miracles and a higher plan, I DO NOT believe that a party date can affect the miracle of life! In other words, people are stupid!

adeleon829 · October 2013

Not too early! I had mine at 23 weeks now that's early!!

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