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Adoption
davidandheather
member
Shower for older kids -is this appropriate?
davidandheather
member
in Adoption
We will be bringing home our babies around Thanksgiving. She is 3 and he is 2. This will be foster-to-adopt. They are legally free, ready to adopt, and we have signed the intent to adopt papers. A friend just offered to host a 'bringing home the babies' shower. Also a girl at church mentioned I should have one. Since the timing is so limited, I put the outside longtime best friend and church friend in touch with each other to combine it. At first I was excited, now I am starting to wonder if I should let this happen. We are very excited and the kids need many things. Something just seems strange about all this and I wonder if we are doing the right thing to invite so many people to this. Probably because the church friend is a busybody who is running the show now and making it less relaxing, but not all that helpful. I wish I had kept them separate. But it is also making me wonder if it is even appropriate to host a shower and invite many people to when bringing home toddlers? And does registering make sense? Any ideas to make it special since they are older and since the list is getting out of control? I think the church list is about 40 and it will be at my friends house. My other list was about 30. That is way too many people for a shower at someone's house. Granted, many may not come. I wish I had never connected my friend with the lady at church and figured out a way to keep the groups separate! The evite has not gone out yet. I don't even know how I could tactfully tell the church lady I'd rather do a separate event. No one at church has come out and offered to host anyway, so that might be just not including them in this big event and come across rude.
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Re: Shower for older kids -is this appropriate?
Have the shower. My boys were toddlers when they came home as well and I was so grateful for the church shower. (I only had about a week's notice and wished that I had more time to register properly.)
I would also definitely register for stuff. Otherwise you will get a lot of stuff that you will need to return. I would think of it more as making life easier on your guests. It is so much easier to go to a shower when you know that the individuals need/want what you have bought. Since you have a little time, you can speak to the foster parents and find out likes and dislikes and include some of that in your wish lists.
Personally, I would have the shower before the kids come (or have one of you stay home with the kids during the shower.) A shower can be overwhelming for an adult, imagine if you were a child that everyone wanted to look at and meet. If allowable by law, you could print out a picture of the kids for the shower.
Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.