:cautiously sneaks in: 2u1? Intro. — The Bump
Two Under 2

:cautiously sneaks in: 2u1? Intro.

Hello everyone!  We welcomed a gorgeous little girl into our family July 10 of this year.  We had planned on having another child, but must say we didn't expect it to happen so soon!  We are super excited, but still a bit overwhelmed with the thought of having 2 under 1.  I hope to be here to stay, though I am a bit nervous about something going wrong early on (darn PgAL never goes away, does it?).

So, for all you mommas with the good ol' Irish twins, I have a question for you:

How do you deal with all the judge-y-ness that comes along with getting pg so soon after having a baby?  I shouldn't care but I'm very nervous about sharing the news with family and friends.  I still have a while to go before I feel comfortable telling, but already quite nervous!
Our little Sweetpea 
photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
BFP #3 10/07/13

Re: :cautiously sneaks in: 2u1? Intro.

  • Welcome! My kiddos weren't 2u1 but were pretty close--their bdays are only three weeks apart. In terms of how you deal with the judgyness you just do. Ive done the snarky comeback a few times but mostly i just smiled and nodded. I've noticed now that they're older people don't comment as much.
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  • Makes sense @KC_13.. I am probably more nervous because I was a little judge-y myself when I learned a friend of mine got preg when her kid was 4 months.. :)  Didn't say anything, but thought to myself.. "wow.... already?"  lol  Guess I've got it coming to me, huh?  :D
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
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  • First of all, congrats!  Mine are going to be 14 months apart and we are definitely still getting used to the idea.  I was very nervous to tell people too, but I've found that people are really excited for us and I think I've been our harshest critic.
    Me: PCOS   DH: No issues

    August '16-January '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI/TI = BFN
    February/March '17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = BFN
    April '17: Menopur + HCG + TI (due to too many mature follicles) = BFN
    May '17: Took off due to cysts
    June' 17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = Cancelled due to 8+ mature follicles
    November '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI= BFN
    December '17: Menopur + HCG + TI= BFP!!!! Due August 2018


    ljs4117
  • @funnygirl34 - That's good to know.. I'm just worried because we don't make a ton of money.  We get by and I think we will be just fine, but from the outside I'm afraid of what it will look like!  My dad is extremely practical and I got that trait from him.. so I can see that it *would* have been smarter to wait a couple of years, you know?  And that was the plan!!  We just got a little carried away a time or two :/  lol.. Don't get me wrong--we're VERY happy to welcome another member of the family and we are totally capable of taking care of another baby--my practical, overly-analytical mind is just in overdrive right now.. :)
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • @ljs4117  I know what you mean.  We don't make a ton of money either.  My husband works at a university as a campus pastor and I quit my teaching job so I could be a SAHM.  We are worried about finances but know that it will all work.  Luckily, I started an at home, skincare direct sales job which is helping a lot. This wasn't a planned pregnancy either, but we feel super blessed especially since we struggled getting (and staying) pregnant with our first.
    Me: PCOS   DH: No issues

    August '16-January '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI/TI = BFN
    February/March '17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = BFN
    April '17: Menopur + HCG + TI (due to too many mature follicles) = BFN
    May '17: Took off due to cysts
    June' 17: Menopur + HCG + IUI = Cancelled due to 8+ mature follicles
    November '17: Clomid + HCG + IUI= BFN
    December '17: Menopur + HCG + TI= BFP!!!! Due August 2018


  • Congrats! Mine are 13 months apart, so we are just outside the Irish twins time frame. That said, I am an Irish twin (though my sister was adopted). Honestly, the best way to deal with judgement is to put on a positive front whenever talking about your babies. People will feed off of you (after their initial reaction). Welcome to the board.
    Mommy to N (3), J (2), and C (10 months). LO4 is due in mid-September.
  • @funnygirl34 - I see that from your siggy.  I bet this pg was a really big surprise!  Congrats.  :)))

    @bookworm982 - Oh yeah, I'm thrilled that my children will most likely be very close.  My only worry is judgment and I know that's super silly of me.  Good advice.. I'll have to remember to be super positive when telling everyone.. :)
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • Congrats! Mine will end up being 21ish months apart when baby #2 is born (we also recently found out).  I plan on just taking it in stride and if anyone really gets on my nerves if they can hash it out but can't take the hash back, too a bad for them.  
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    Baby #2 on its way - EDD June 4th!!
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    ljs4117
  • I am 11 pregnant andmy daughter is 6 months. We have mostly only told close friends and family so far, but have been surprised with how great everybody has reacted for the most part. Deliver the news with joy, and your likely to receive a joyous reaction. For those that are judgy, well... Maybe they have other things going on in their lives that are making them feel a little bitter, who knows. It IS big news, so just have fun with the surprise. Congratulations!
    TTC since 2008. I'm 30/DH 32. Unexplained Infertility.
    All Welcome!

    Unmedicated IUI: 9/11 BFN

    1st IVF: January 2012. BCP, Lupron, Menopur, Gonal-F
    7 eggs retrieved, 5 mature, 3 fertilized, 3dt 2 grade A embryos.
    Beta 13dp3dt = 6. Beta 16dp3dt = 9. Chemical Pregnancy.

    2nd IVF: Antagonist Protocol. June 2012
    BCP, Ganirelix, Menopur, Gonal-F
    18 eggs retrieved (6/25), 12 mature, 6 fertilized

    BFP! Singleton due 3/18/13!

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    ljs4117
  • @Iguana33 - 11 weeks and your daughter is 6 months?  Just trying to clarify hehe..

    It is good news and I think I'm just way over thinking it and worrying too much about other peoples' opinions.  Tsk tsk, me... :)  Congrats on your pg! 
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • Yes, 11 weeks! Sorry for the typo. Thanks! Good luck, once you start telling people all will be good I'm sure.
    TTC since 2008. I'm 30/DH 32. Unexplained Infertility.
    All Welcome!

    Unmedicated IUI: 9/11 BFN

    1st IVF: January 2012. BCP, Lupron, Menopur, Gonal-F
    7 eggs retrieved, 5 mature, 3 fertilized, 3dt 2 grade A embryos.
    Beta 13dp3dt = 6. Beta 16dp3dt = 9. Chemical Pregnancy.

    2nd IVF: Antagonist Protocol. June 2012
    BCP, Ganirelix, Menopur, Gonal-F
    18 eggs retrieved (6/25), 12 mature, 6 fertilized

    BFP! Singleton due 3/18/13!

    Photobucket
  • I am due in a few weeks and they will be 13 months apart. Those really close to me (like my mom) knew I wanted a substantial family and I was happy staying at home with the baby. My father (my parents are divorced), however, does not get it and regularly brings up the suggestion of getting my tubes tied when I have this next baby so "I don't have to be barefoot and pregnant all the time." In response, I told my dad I normally put shoes on when I leave the house and I have repeatedly told him that I will make those decisions about my body, but thank you for the concern. Other people just seem happy for me. I think the biggest change has been friends without kids--as I went from one without to having a baby and another on the way in such a short time--and it really widens the gap for some. But as for worrying about what others think... you will be so busy, that I think you will stop caring as much... at least I did :)
    I am having trouble updating tickers--But I am due on April 2015. I have 2 older step children: 9 and 14 yrs and I also recently had 2 younger children: 2 years and 1 year... so this means I will be having 3 under 3--and trying to fit our family of 7 into our minivan--eek!


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    ljs4117
  • Hi there! Mine are 3 days shy of 1 year apart.  They actually both had the exact same due date, ironically enough :)  I was so worried about judgement in the beginning until several Mommas on this board pointed out that I had no reason to care what others thought.. I was happy, my husband was happy, it may not have been 100% planned, but we knew we wanted another child close together in age, etc.. surprisingly, I had very few people ever make sarcastic remarks!  Actually, I've had more people joke with me now (saying, haha are you pregnant again yet??) than when I was pregnant!  Congrats to you -- it's a TON of fun!  We're actually talking about trying for #3 soon!
    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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    ljs4117
  • @JulyMomma2U2 - Awesome!!  Good luck with that 3rd one.  Don't know if I could do 3u3!!!  :D  I will determine that once I have 2u2 ;)  Thanks for the nice words, I'm finally starting to feel more at ease with it. :)
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • I have Irish twins. It wasn't planned. I don't think I got any rude comments except maybe one "you know how that happens, right?" I think I was more surprised than anyone, so I don't think anyone wanted to make me feel worse. But in the end, what are you going to do about it? You're already pregnant. I still get a lot of "oh you must be busy" but I am. I don't take it as judgy. Maybe I should.
    ljs4117
  • @smerka - Nahhh, probably not meant to be judgy.  I think I was just so shocked about it that I was pretty nervous about telling.. I figured well I'm judging me so what will THEY think?  Eh, who cares, right?  :)
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • I personally never got any judgy comments. It was just funny when people would joke about who was next to get pregnant and they would automatically count me out, when I was secretly pregnant already :) My kids are 11 months apart and love how close together they are.
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  • @Mrs MoJoRisin - I hear it's a great age gap.  I'm getting more and more excited about it.  :)  Did you just have your second?
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • ljs4117 said:

    @Mrs MoJoRisin - I hear it's a great age gap.  I'm getting more and more excited about it.  :)  Did you just have your second?

    DS is 18 months, DD is 7.

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  • Congrats! Mine were set to be 13.5 months apart but ended up exactly 12 months apart. DD2 is 364 days younger than DD1. I didn't get a lot of judgey comments, but I made it very clear that I was happy and excited to be growing our family and for my girls to be so close in age. Honestly, when all you know is siblings close in age, it's no different than handling a 3yr old and newborn. Either way you need to find routines that work for you. The first couple months are challenging bc you're trying to find what works best routine-wise, but every day/week/month gets easier. And my girls are such close friends! I love it and know they'll have a special relationship always.
    Congratulations! Don't let others' negativity hurt the joy of carrying life within you!
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  • @ktshafra - Thanks so much.  We've always felt thankful about the new pregnancy/baby, but have been getting more and more excited.  As you said, when I thought about it, how would this situation be much harder than having a toddler when pregnant and with a newborn?  I don't know from experience but being pregnant while LO is in the terrible 2's stage doesn't sound like fun!  Truthfully I think I judged myself.  I still think I will be judged by some (including my parents), but they'll get over it and either be happy for me or... well I don't care.  :)
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
  • ljs4117 said:
    @ktshafra - Thanks so much.  We've always felt thankful about the new pregnancy/baby, but have been getting more and more excited.  As you said, when I thought about it, how would this situation be much harder than having a toddler when pregnant and with a newborn?  I don't know from experience but being pregnant while LO is in the terrible 2's stage doesn't sound like fun!  Truthfully I think I judged myself.  I still think I will be judged by some (including my parents), but they'll get over it and either be happy for me or... well I don't care.  :)
    This was my realization, too!  I was judging myself WAY harder than I should have!!  In reality, after the shock set it we were SO excited that it was obvious when we told people so no one ever really responded negatively!  Like PP said about getting comments about "you must be busy".. I get those all the time, too, but I never take them as judgey.. I AM busy.. but, I always respond with sure am, but it's amazing!  Because, that's how I feel :)  Best of luck to you and so glad to see that the excitement is setting it!! It's such an amazing blessing!
    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    My blog about raising 2U2!
    ljs4117
  • Mine are 11months apart so I understand completely! Congrats!! I was so nervous also I waited till 11weeks to tell anyone... I put my ds in a lil custom onesie (they don't make them that little) that said look who's going to be a big brother. Everyone was pretty shocked but they were so happy too.
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    ljs4117
  • @mechanicmama1 - LOL @ not having a size small enough for the onesie.  That's a really cute idea!  :)  
    Our little Sweetpea 
    photo 62d4d618-8ee8-46d9-ae5d-705799d4d9da.jpg

    BFP #1 04/27/12 | blighted ovum, m/c 05/30/12 @ ?? weeks, D&C 06/01/12 BFP #2 11/06/12 | DD born 07/10/13 
    BFP #3 10/07/13
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