July 2012 Moms

Separation anxiety and sleep

Dmitri started waking in the middle of the night, crying for no apparent reason. At first I assumed his waking was teething, but the tooth popped through last week and he is still waking up. He fights bedtime and once he does go to sleep he's usually up within an hour of me putting him in his crib crying or screaming. He is very comforted by my or DH's presence, and wants us to hold him while he sleeps or stand there so when he does wake he sees us and relaxes. Attempting to put him back in his crib after settling him down results in a tantrum and screaming until we pick him back up. We have tried to let him CIO (for 15 minutes), but the anxiety seems to escalate. We've resorted to putting him in bed with us so we get some sleep even if it's not great sleep.

Between DH, DS and the dog, there is nowhere to move at night and my back just kills in the morning.  The Boy needs to sleep in his own crib but I don't know how to make him not freak out.  I've suggested moving the crib into our room so if he wakes he sees us.  Bad idea?

Tips? Tricks? Condolences? Words of advise? 
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Re: Separation anxiety and sleep

  • I don't have any advice but I want to tell you you are not alone with the night situations.  If my LO wakes MOTN and we get her she will not go back into her crib.  One of us spends the entire night holding her or sleeping with her.  None of us sleep well on those nights.  Fortunately, it happens randomly so we usually end up sucking it up.  Have you considered a cosleeper?  This would give Dimitri his own space and you more space in bed.  If you want to break the whole cosleeping cycle in general you may want to read a sleep training book.  We had to do Sleep easy when LO was @ 10 months old.  It took me hours to get her down and she would wake up multiple times a night.  It sucked but sleep training was the best thing for all of us. GL!

    https://www.amazon.com/Arms-Reach-Concepts-Convertible-Co-Sleeper/dp/B00BFBUYCC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382975051&sr=8-1&keywords=cosleeper
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  • @mightybee, we have the same kid and the same husband.  I'm sorry you are going through this too.  If I find a solution I will share!
    mightybee said:
    He is fine when I hold him, rock him, and pat his belly in his crib, but as soon as I try to leave, he starts crying again and reaching his arms up for me like a zombie.
    This is exactly my problem!
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  • We have a tough sleeper, too. We were bedsharing until a couple months ago when we moved DS to his room. The transition has been a long one, but it's going well now. We actually skipped the crib since he had never been in one for the night and went straight to a floor bed. He has a twin mattress on his bedroom floor and does great in it. Works well for us, too. Since it a twin mattress, we started sleeping in there with him and then moved out slowly. Now, if he fusses, I go in, tell him "it's time for sleeping," lay him down, and he goes back to sleep. We also started playing white noise so we can sneak out easier.

    I know these methods are a stretch for most, but just offering another option.

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