Realistic Childcare Expectations

[Deleted User] · October 2013

We are in the process of finding new childcare for LO. He was being watched by a babysitter at our house when I was at work. This was ideal because DH is usually home during the day, but it really wasn't working out with the babysitter. We're trying to decide between finding another caregiver who can come to our home versus daycare. I'm a little torn because there are pros and cons to both. Part of my problem with our old babysitter was that she would put DS down any chance she got. He spent a lot of the day in the swing. My DH says I'm not realistic in expecting someone to hold my baby all day long. I don't expect my child to be held all day long, but it seems to me that after his been fed and changed and he's all content and cooing he shouldn't just be put back down. He also has a flat head in the back and we've been trying to do as much tummy time and keeping him off of it as possible. I've never had a child in daycare before, so I don't know what to realistically expect. I'm assuming some amount of holding and interacting with the kids is normal. What do others look for in a good childcare provider/ center?

Liz4444 · October 2013

If you want your child to be held a lot, I think sending them to a daycare is unrealistic. They have many children to care for. It sounds like you want a lot of one on one attention for your child, which is fine, but for that level of care you will need to pay a nanny.

tmstengrim · October 2013

From my experience thus far, a person in your home would be able to provide more holding time than a daycare center. What was the babysitter doing while your LO was being put down, if he/she wasn't doing anything like cleaning etc then I would be questioning it as well?

With most centers at a ratio of 1 to 3 or 1 to 4 the majority of the time the kids are more than likely going to be in a swing, on the floor, etc. The center that we take Logan to doesn't do tummy time until the kids are 4months old, which I didn't know until a couple weeks ago when I asked. I honestly feel like he does get enough interaction at daycare most days because he isn't real needy for attention when we get home, with the exception of some days that all he wants to do is nurse but that is obviously something they can't provide.

In the end you know what is best for your LO.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

Agree with the nanny. I'm going to make it clear to the nanny I end up hiring that I hold Haddock all day long and that's what I expect her to do. I don't understand why your babysitter was putting your LO in the swing, did she have other duties?

alamie717 · October 2013

I'm going to say nanny, too. Common sense just tells me that a daycare provider wouldnt be able to hold him as much because of the other children they also have to watch.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

I'm not really sure what the babysitter does. It's definitely not cleaning. I think I'm looking for more interaction/activity time rather than just holding time. @mamasighs - the sickness was what we were trying to avoid. It's good to know it's over after a year. We are in a unique situation because my husband is usually home during the day, but is disabled and can't care for DS on his own. He really wants the baby at home with him. We had found a good daycare that would take DS part-time. I had thought that could be the best of both worlds if we found a good babysitter/nanny to pick him up everyday at noon. I may explore that again.

Stina2012 · October 2013

I'd make it clear in the interview that the expectation is the baby is held or interacted with when not napping. I mean, what are you paying them for? To sit on their butts and watch TV? Nope!

reallylongusername · October 2013

anr02 said:

My DH says I'm not realistic in expecting someone to hold my baby all day long. I don't expect my child to be held all day long, but it seems to me that after his been fed and changed and he's all content and cooing he shouldn't just be put back down. He also has a flat head in the back and we've been trying to do as much tummy time and keeping him off of it as possible. I've never had a child in daycare before, so I don't know what to realistically expect. I'm assuming some amount of holding and interacting with the kids is normal. What do others look for in a good childcare provider/ center?

You're not unrealistic when it comes to this. I was a babysitter and nanny before having d.d. from like the fourth grade on, and I wouldn't just put your child down in the swing after he was content. I would basically do w/your son as I do w/d.d, playing w/him once he was content, doing tummy time, having him grip things, reading books, except when it seemed he was overstimulated or was happy playing on his own.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

@ttcfeb2011+2ivfspg can i hire you to come be my nanny?

heatherbrownm · October 2013

I would get a nanny if I were you. We pay my mom to watch DD and she holds her and loves her just as much as we do.

@kdsar I would be mad if I had DD in daycare and found out they were doing that. Not letting a child be held so they won't become attached? Come on. That's ridiculous. If they were so worried about attachment issues they should cycle the teachers out periodically, not deny a baby of being held.

reallylongusername · October 2013

anr02 said:

@ttcfeb2011+2ivfspg can i hire you to come be my nanny?

Haha, where do you live?

[Deleted User] · October 2013

I live in Virginia Beach. Any chance you are anywhere nearby?

Since posting this morning I got a call from a woman who is interested in being our nanny. She has a background in education and sounds really cool. I'm going to talk to her more when I get home from work tonight. I'm really hoping she will work out.

elyse05 · October 2013

If the nanny's only job is the baby, what is she doing when she isn't holding him or interacting with him? I understand there may be a little bit of prep/light tidying required with a baby, but if she doesn't have any other responsibilities other than the baby, what is she doing? I'm not trying to be snarky, I honestly don't know. I am at home with my LO a lot (I work part-time), and you can be sure if she is by herself on the floor and happy, I'm preparing food or folding clothes or some other chore. OK, a few times I'm bumping

[Deleted User] · October 2013

elyse05 our nanny was a relative of a friend and she was iffy from the beginning, but since my DH was home we thought we could make it work at least for a little while. I think she spent a lot of time on the phone or watching TV. She would be in the same room with DS, but not doing a ton of interacting with him. My DH gave her a lot of redirection throughout the day, but it got to the point where it was obvious she just wasn't getting it and it wasn't working. @mrserinh yes the interview process will definitely include more time with my LO before I leave them all alone.

reallylongusername · October 2013

anr02 said:

I live in Virginia Beach. Any chance you are anywhere nearby?

Since posting this morning I got a call from a woman who is interested in being our nanny. She has a background in education and sounds really cool. I'm going to talk to her more when I get home from work tonight. I'm really hoping she will work out.

Aw, I'm in Massachusetts.

Good luck! Hope it works out!

summerchild · October 2013

Stina2012 said:
I'd make it clear in the interview that the expectation is the baby is held or interacted with when not napping. I mean, what are you paying them for? To sit on their butts and watch TV? Nope!

I agree with this.

kt012885 · October 2013

I have DD in a home daycare. She gets held almost all day, well did until they got another baby but there are only 4 kids altogether including her. Maybe find a small home daycare?

I'd think that your babysitter tho would give more one on one than a daycare- so maybe look for a new nanny?

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Realistic Childcare Expectations

Re: Realistic Childcare Expectations

@ttcfeb2011+2ivfspg can i hire you to come be my nanny?

@ttcfeb2011+2ivfspg can i hire you to come be my nanny?

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