Loss Check In

Mrs Nice · October 2013

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

kz's_girlygirl · October 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? We picked up Jesse's cremains on Monday, so that was a big step. I can't believe that all we have left of him fits in such a tiny box

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? My next goal is to make a photo book of all of our ultrasound pics, bump pics and photos from the day he was born. I wish I would have take a million more of everything, but I want to make sure I keep the pics we do have so I can look at them whenever I want. A hard thing about doing this is that in order to get the ultrasound pics from our hospital check in (which are the last photos of Jesse alive) I have to go and pick them up. Dh tried to do it for me, but they wouldn't let him. Working up the courage to go back will be tough.

QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? We bought a new bookshelf for the living room to put Jesse's things in/on. We have his urn (it's a blue nursery block with his name and birthdate on it), a couple of candles, a vase with flowers (baby's breath), the memory box from the hospital, his baby blanket and a small album of pictures I was ok with other people seeing if anyone wanted to. In the memory box we have his foot and hand prints as well as a casting of them, his hospital bracelet, a little teddy bear, and blankets/receiving gown that are identical to the ones he wore, but aren't actually. I wish they would have given us his actual things.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I can't believe tonight will be 2 weeks since he died, and tomorrow will be 2 weeks since he was born. Now that we have his ashes back, I feel strange- like there's nothing left to 'do'. Everything we will ever have of Jesse is on a shelf, and I don't really know what to do with all the feelings surrounding everything. He doesn't need anything anymore, but I desperately want to 'do' something. Idk. Very complicated as you all know.

mingaling2 · October 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Just reading things and trying to process.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Not really. I need to schedule a tattoo consultation, but have been distracted.

QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home?
We have photos of us holding her in the hospital, hand and footprints, and her little hat. Her urn, as well. We have them in our room.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Wondering if/when/should we TTC.

irons633 · October 2013

***apologize responded from IPAD***** Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Today marks one week and one day since we had to say goodbye and hello to our sweet Olivia. I have been able to go outside alittle at a time and allow myself to feel emotions when I see pregnant women and newborns. I have ordered a book from Amazon called, "In the Company of Angels: A Memory Book". Which I will be able to put her ultrasound pictures in write things that about her after she left. I am also allowing myself to take each day as it comes and know that every day is one step closer o healing. What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? My next goal is to start looking into nursing school. With having gone thru two losses in less than a year the nurses who were there for me were amazing. I want to be able to give back to women who unfortunately will have the fate of which we all have endured and be able to comfort them. My plan is to go to the college and speak with someone reference my credits and see when I can start. My goal is to take care of me. QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? I have her pictures the hospital gave to us, receiving blanket, dress, bear , hat and even the diaper they had on her. I also have her feet and hand impressions. We currently have her items in a shadow box next to her brothers. It's difficult to look at two boxes that contain the only memories of my babies. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? What to do for my husband for our anniversary in a few weeks that is just a few days from my expected baby shower date as well as the angelversary of our son EJ. How to keep my emotions in check do all the things that will happen in a span of a few days of each other.

stefuge · October 2013

*** LO ticker***DS mentioned*** sorry, on the ipad. Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Monday will be two months, as well as Colton's EDD. We are making plans for that which has been difficult, but I am dreading that day, so I want to have things planned. What is the next goal you have set for yourself? We are planning his memorial in a couple weeks, working on some gifts for our parents as well as plans for that day. Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I think just taking it day by day, making notes of what I would like to do, and then getting it done as I feel up to it. What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? We have photos, footprints, lock of hair, the hat, nightgown, and blankie he was wrapped in, and his hospital bracelets, as well as lots of little knick knacks from his nursery and a bear we received from the hospital. I've framed some photos, as well as his footprints and have those in our room and the living room. I also made a silhouette of his profile and hung that in the living room along with his older brothers. I've also placed some of his little elephants from his nursery in different spots in the house where I can see them. I've requested his still birth certificate and hope to have that in a couple weeks as well as picking up his ashes Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm trying to decide if I want to do birth announcements. We did them for his older brother but I can't decide. Part of me wants to because he matters and his birth was just as important as his brothers but then the other part still wants to be private.

princezjk · October 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really. After last weeks miscarriage, I am feeling Izzie's loss more intensely. I feel like I have regressed in my grief. I had gotten to a point where I wasn't crying everyday, but I am back to that habit. At least for now.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? My next goal is to just keep taking it one day at a time. With the holiday season approaching I know I am going to need to be extra patient with myself.

QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? I have some pictures of my Izzie girl, her footprints and hand print, a lock of her hair and some mementos from the hospital. I don't have anything displayed, but plan to one day.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Always my Izzie

diamante1181 · October 2013

Mrs Nice said:

Welcome to our checkin!

I hope it's okay for me to check in with you all. I am feeling really lost with everything, but I also want to offer my support.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? It hasn't quite been a week yet, I am trying to take it moment by moment.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I was thinking of going back to school, but I don't know for what. Initially before everything happened I was planning on getting a degree in education (history for HS, specifically). Still have to consider it.

QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? I don't have anything displayed yet. We got memory boxes with their hand and foot molds, finger/foot prints, their little clothes, and pictures. We have to contact a funeral home next so we can have the remains cremated. I don't know how I'll get through that part. But I plan to have their pics and prints framed, and I'm also working on a poem for them so I can frame that by their urns, respectively.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I wonder when I will feel OK enough to have the courage to try again for our little miracle, and if it will ever happen for us.

VyD81 · October 2013

Have you taken any steps toward healing this week? We have a date set to have a small memorial to place Raynor ashes in the cemetery where all the other babies are so he will always have friends. I kept some of his ashes in a pendant so i can take him with me everywhere...just as I promised when I was carrying him.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I push back graduate school when I found out I was pregnant. Last week, I re-applied for school and took my GMAT exam on Saturday. Hopefully I will get in and can start school in January.

What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? I'm writing a poem for Raynor and plan to frame it with his footprints. My husband had his footprints tattooed on his forearms and the artist did a great job. I keep his memory box from the hospital on my nightstand.

What is on your mind this week? I ran into a co-worker at the break room on Friday, and he asked how long I was planning to take time off for maternity, not even noticing that I no longer have a pregnant bump. I'm a small person, how can you not notice that I'm no longer pregnant. I had to fight back tears, and anger just enough to say "l lost my baby exactly 1 month today". I had to hurry out of the room so I don't break out in tears.

Ticker id: ra2f

shandorfml2 · October 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I guess I am doing better than I was. Last week I was really bitter and angry. I released some of that.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? continue to try and get healthy, it's hard.

QOTW: What mementos do you have from your angel? Do you have anything displayed in your home? We have her memory box from the hospital, her teddy and blanket, we have pics around the house and butterflies that remind us of her.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?It's just not fair. I miss her so much

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