Pregnant after a Loss

An intro and a question.

nove1198nove1198 member
edited October 2013 in Pregnant after a Loss

Hello all!

I just found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant again after miscarrying in June. I also have a 21 month old daughter. We are very excited and I actually feel a lot of peace and a bit of excitement about this pregnancy (so far!).

The thing I'm struggling with is that it seems like my family and my husband's family are forgetting the baby we lost. They often act as though it never happened. My MIL said at one point that she was so excited for us to have our second child, and I said, "this is our third child". She blanched and walked away. The thought of my baby being forgotten makes me sick in side. Giving him a name and an identity has helped me so much in the grieving process, and seeing others act like he didn't exist, even though it was just for a few weeks, makes me so sad. I don't want him to be forgotten. And then there's the part of me that wonders if I'm being irrational. Anyone else go through this? Any thoughts or advice? I don't want to resent my family members, and I don't want to take away from the excitement of the new baby. I just don't want the baby we lost to be forgotten. =(

     Together - 11/9/08
     Married - 7/10/10
     Nt/Np - 1/14/11
    BFP! - 5/20/11 EDD - 1/25/12
    It's a girl! - 9/7/11
    A family of 3 - 2/2/12
    Nt/Np - 4/15/12
     BFP! - 5/16/13  EDD - 1/22/14
     Discovered baby's not growing w/ no heartbeat - 6/7/13      
    Natural M/C @ 6.5w - 6/15/13
    Nt/Np - 6/25/13
    BFP! - 10/25/13  EDD - 7/1/14
    Missed M/C (natural) - 11/5/13 @ 6w
    Nt/Np - 11/17/13
     BFP! - 5/29/14  EDD - 2/7/15
     It's a girl! - 9/19/14
    A family of 4 - 2/13/15
    Nt/Np - 4/9/15
    BFP! - 4/1/16  EDD - 12/05/16
It's a boy! - 7/19/16
A family of 5 - 12/10/16
DH vasectomy - 3/30/17

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Re: An intro and a question.

  • I think a lot of family members do not talk about the baby you lost because they don't want to bring up something painful for you. They also may not know what to say. I think if you openly talk about your baby boy, then they will be more comfortable with talking about it too.
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  • Congrats and welcome to the board!I think a lot of family members just don't know what to say. They think bringing it up will make you upset or talking about it will be uncomfortable. But I'm similar to you in that, yea it might be upsetting but I still want to talk about it and I don't want him to be forgotten. A lot of us have memory charms, jewelry, or trees planted in memory of our angel babies. Maybe doing something like that will help you through your journey.

    BFP #1: 3/23/13, EDD: 11/22/13, MC: 4/2/13
    Convinced it was a boy and missing him every day!
    BFP #2: 10/25/13, EDD: 7/3/14, Grow baby Grow! Anabelle Rose born 6/6/14 

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