October 2013 Moms
BlessUrHeart29
member
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Bed sharing
BlessUrHeart29
member
My LO only wants to sleep either cuddled up beside me or on top of me. Obviously I'm not getting any sleep bc I am terrified if something happening to him. How can I modify this situation so he still feels close to me (and sleeps!) but is also safe?
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Re: Bed sharing
@brandontricia I definitely understand that and am trying to get him more comfortable in his PnP. It's just about the only place he won't sleep... Ugh!
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
BUT, like everyone has said, it needs to be done safely. No extra blankets or pillows, if mom or dad are overly tired or sleep too deeply, then baby needs to sleep else where. Baby needs to be on a flat surface, no pillow top beds, feather toppers, etc.
We have safely slept with all our children and currently do with our son. We did this until they were more mobile and crawling. At that point it was safer for them to be in their cribs.
Bed sharing is not for everyone and that is fine, but when done safely can be a great experience for all involved.
*BFP #1- 11/12/12, m/c 11/16/12 @ 6 weeks
*BFP #2- 1/23/13 EDD 10/4/13
*Emma Rose: 10/8/13
*BFP #3- EDD 03/9/16
March '16 December Siggy Challenge- Favorite Christmas Movie/Quote
We have this little bouncy hammock-y type thing that he sleeps really well in, but it's not even a foot off the floor so I worry that he'd get cold and that the dumb dog would try to lick him all night long. The dog would never hurt him but he sure would pester him half to death.
We have a memory foam matress which makes me nervous. I am ready to buy a brand new mattress, but clearly my hormones are messing with my normally rational behavior. Usually DH is the one who rushes to buy things for a quick fix and I want to wait and see.
@crunchymama11 Any specific sites we should read? Google is overwhelming me right now. DH is not as open to the plan of just keeping her next to me.
FTR, we are a bedsharing family, but briefly did this when transitioning DS to his crib.
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
That said, we absolutely believe in the benefits of co-sleeping, which just means sleeping in the same room as your little one. Some people mistakenly think the AAP's recommendation that parents co-sleep means that they support bed sharing--but these are completely different terms. Our kids sleep in our room in a pack n play next to my side of the bed, with a little fan citculatig the air around their crib for the first 6 months, until the SIDS risk is greatly reduced.
If you create an "unnatural environment" that artificially encourages a deeper/longer sleep than a baby is developmentally ready for, they could literally sleep so deeply they forget/don't have the natural instinct to breathe. That is why rock n plays are not considered safe for overnight sleep or really any sleep that is not being actively supervised.
I'm just curious. My LO will not sleep at night in any if those for longer than 30 minutes. I have co-slept using all the precautions and he slept for 2+ hours.
"It may be important to consider or reflect on whether you would think that you suffocated your baby if, under the most unlikely scenario, your baby died from SIDS while in your bed. Just as babies can die from SIDS in a risk free solitary sleep environment, it remains possible for a baby to die in a risk-free cosleeping/bed sharing environment. Just make sure, as much as this is possible, that you would not assume that , if the baby died, that either you or your spouse would think that bed-sharing contributed to the death, or that one of your really suffocated (by accident) the infant. It is worth thinking about."
I know that my marriage is very strong. But if My husband had been bed sharing with our baby and he died during the night for unknown reasons, I don't know how I would ever be able to work with him through that. And I sure he would feel the same regarding me...
We are naturally risk-averse people, so we don't practice bed sharing.
I haven't researched this in depth, since we will never do it, but I didn't see this caveat in any of the prior posts.
I was moreso inquiring how others have mentioned heating pads prior to laying them down and using a blanket with your scent, etc. I'm curious what other tactics have worked.
I don't want to be rude, because you clearly are passionate about bed sharing. But the reason there are more SIDS cases where baby is sleeping in the crib than with their parents is that most parents try to follow the AAP's safe sleep recommendations and don't bed share. So, the absolute number of kids who die in their parent's bed vs. in their cribs doesn't say anything--the real question would be the percentage of each that result in infant death. And that is currently unknowable.
I know you believe your personal experience with your daughter supports your bed sharing position. But I don't think you could find a NICU doctor or any pediatric specialist in dealing with apnea in infants who would say they a high-risk infant with demonstrated apnea should bedshare... That just wouldn't be backed up by any research that is currently published.
That said, it worked for you. And it will work for many people. But, statistics indisputably show that more babies die in bed-sharing situations than those who had their own sleep space.
So hopefully if you get one you won't run into the same problem. I have accepted that this might be a temporary issue until we can get on a shedule .. Until then I am trying to sleep when she sleeps.
I'm mobile so forgive me jumping around and/or weird wording.
Do it safely, etc. somebody above mentioned the ebf babies are safer and that's because the hormones released while bf more finely tunes the "mothers instinct" of lightly sleeping to keep watch over your baby.
And I definitely ditto that babies die--whether sleeping alone or in moms bed. Having them die alone would cause just as many "what ifs" as if baby died in moms bed.
Somebody above mentioned also something about AAP...that's also just in the US. Babies around the world bed share and have fewer cases of SIDS.
Bed sharing promotes longer/full term breast feeding, which to me, is healthier than the risks of safe-bed sharing.
Somebody also mentioned "we're al tired"--- false. I am getting some of the best sleep I have had on months. I have a 4 day old, and I am in bed approx 10pm-10am, with a nap somewhere in between as well. Since we're still getting the hang of breastfeeding- I do get out of bed to feed him, but I imagine soon I'll be able to stay in bed the whole time. Being rested allows me to be a better mom, IMO.
I think I covered most points? If not, ask! I am also super passionate about bed sharing, almost as much as I am about breastfeeding----and rear facing car seats.
That's some really useful info...thanks!