FTM & BTDT EP moms - advice please! -(possible TMI)

mslmk11 · October 2013

So I'm a FTM who is EPing but I'm wondering when you (if you have) decided to stop EP and switch to formula? What prompted it and how did you emotionally deal with it (if you felt guilty for switching?)

I'll preface this with even the thought of me wanting to switch makes me feel bad because 1) I want to do what I feel is best for LO, which I feel is breast milk 2) the desire to quit is more from a selfish desire than any medical/emotional reason.

I've never had issues with supply, but the pumping is really starting to get very painful. It didn't start out that way, and I know that BF moms take it a lot harder than I do, but it's getting to the point where my nips are getting tears in the them and skin is being rubbed off, and I can't let it heal because if I don't pump (as I'm sure you know), then OW! It's been like this for probably a month, maybe a little longer. I use a medela double electric pump, and maybe it's the pump that's doing the damage, and I'd be fine if I switched (that's what I'm asking for advice for!). I switched from the large size flanges to the next size down thinking that might help as it was taking quite a lot of boob/areola into the tunnel which I read it's not supposed to do, and it seemed to help a little bit, but there is still tearing and stuff even after switching. I originally had gotten an Aveda pump through insurance, but it hurt so bad then it'd bring tears to my eyes when I tried pumping, so that's when I bought the medela. I had rented the medela symphony from the hopsital upon discharge and that wasn't too bad, but I transitioned to the double electric pump about a month after discharge and it's just now starting to get really bad.

Without going in to much detail, pumping also causes some issues in the bedroom with DH due to the soreness and tears, so that's also an influencing my thinking on switching.

So why did you ladies stop EP, or when did you? What suggestions would you have for me?

TIA!

oandmplus1 · October 2013

I wanted to EBF DD so bad, but she refused and screamed every time I tried, so I EPd for a month until she was 3 months old. She had started refusing my milk and stopped taking bottles all together. I was home alone nights so I had to pump and do all the night feedings. I was exhausted.
I felt the same way you did, it was a very emotional and difficult decision for me to make, but once I made it I felt much better. I was much less stressed and I got more sleep. For me, it was the right decision.

I think that no matter the reason, and yours is a very good reason, you have to do what is right for you. A happy mama means a happier baby. That being said, if you decide to stick with it, have you tried seeing a lactation consultant?

mslmk11 · October 2013

we had similar issues with her BF which is why I pump, and once we decided to just go with EP, you're right, everything was less stressful. I hadn't thought of seeing a LC because I figured they were just if you BF or had issues/questions with supply, not pumping. but I suppose that makes sense they could be a helpful resource. Thanks

Iblamethebeer · October 2013

What setting is your pump on? Does it still hurt at the lowest setting? If not, try pumping there for a while.

If it does still hurt at the lowest setting, then really -- STOP.

With my first I had a lot of nursing issues and I was so terrified of stopping because that seemed just intrinsically selfish. When I finally *did* give up I realized what an emotional toll it had been taking on me, and how much easier it was for me to be an active and caring mother. For her sake and for mine, I should have stopped a lot sooner.

mslmk11 · October 2013

Iblamethebeer said:

What setting is your pump on? Does it still hurt at the lowest setting? If not, try pumping there for a while.

If it does still hurt at the lowest setting, then really -- STOP.

With my first I had a lot of nursing issues and I was so terrified of stopping because that seemed just intrinsically selfish. When I finally *did* give up I realized what an emotional toll it had been taking on me, and how much easier it was for me to be an active and caring mother. For her sake and for mine, I should have stopped a lot sooner.

It is at the lowest setting :-O, with the exception of the quick shallow suction to help the letdown.

That's what I'm worried about, it being a selfish decision on my part. There were plenty of women through the years who didn't have the option to pump and they got through it, so why can't I? Maybe I'm trying to be "the super mom" who does everything the stereotypical right way (I do have some perfectionist tendencies, which probably don't help). But it is starting to weigh on me emotionally.

I definitely think I'm going to try out that pumpin pal shields that @Estwd2 suggested. I'd never heard of them, but I'm willing to try just about anything at this stage!

thedash · October 2013

I pumped and supplemented when DS was 2 months until 6 months old. I never had pain or tearing. That sounds really hard! I stopped because it was mentally exhausting me. My only downtime at work was lunch so I ate while pumping in my office. Most of my coworkers went out as a group or ate together in our conference room so I was always isolated. Also, because I usually only had time to pump once at work I had to pump twice in the morning before leaving, the minute I got home, before bed and sometimes during the night.

I think I made the right choice to stop when I did. I needed that mental and physical break so I could focus on work, DS, and DH.

mslmk11 · October 2013

Thanks for all the thoughts. @ClaryPax, when you say see my regular doc about possible nipple issues you mean my OB or just GP or would the LC be able to diagnose those issues?

Would you say that using Lanolin cream would count as wetness that would actually cause irritation instead of helping?

Karla CS · October 2013

I definitely second the pumpin pals. Definitely worth the investment, and they come with three sizes, so you have the opportunity to find the size that works best for you.

And in regards to the bigger topic, don't even consider the fact that you might stop EP'ing to be selfish. The fact that you've come this far means a lot. At the end of the day, a healthy momma is the best thing you can give your baby, and if you're in pain and other options (different flanges, LC, talking to your OB, etc) don't pan out, there is NOTHING selfish about making sure that you're taken care of.

Red_Dahlia · October 2013

A tiny bit of olive oil rubbed inside the flange prevented tears and soreness for me. Have you tried that?

mslmk11 · October 2013

@Red_Dahia

Yeah, we tried that, well I put it on my nips not the flanges, but I'd assume it would be the same result? It helped a bit at first, but now it seems to not help like it used to

Thanks @Karla CS

JJ_13 · October 2013

Definitely see an IBCLC - try to get one that specializes in pumps. Ask around.

I would suggest XP'ing this on teh Breastfeeding board too - there are lots of EP'ers over there.

GL with your decision!

ETA: What you describe is not normal - tearing when pumping is not ok and you do not have to just grin and bear it - there should be a solution that will allow you to pump comfortably.

mslmk11 · October 2013

@momtobe2912 we tried BFing but for whatever reason LO did not take, at all. I've had to pump since she was born. She would just get so angry and upset when I tried to BF her, then she couldn't be calmed because she was so hungry and it was just a bad cycle. I've tried a few times here and there since then, but she reacts the same way.

I started with the middle sized flanges coming home, they eventually started hurting, so I switched to the larger ones, which helped briefly, but I noticed it was taking a lot more of my boob into the tunnel than not, and I saw on Medela website what a proper fit is supposed to look like, and it wasn't what I was doing. I wouldn't say the ones I'm on now are the 'right' fit completely either, but it's better.

Thanks again everyone for all the suggestions!

tbmadeamistake · October 2013

I struggled with BFing for 1 month, and then EP'd for another 4 and a half. At the end of the day, regardless of the fact that I could make the time, that I knew she was getting what she needed from me, I could not emotionally continue. Yes, a baby needs BM for as long as possible. However, a baby also, probably more importantly, needs a happy. healthy mom. I wasn't that. I didn't feel like myself, I was constantly tied to the pump, and I couldn't do anything without factoring in my pumping schedule. The kicker, as silly as this sounds, was buying a dress for a wedding we were going to, getting it home, and realizing that I couldn't pump in it. That was my deal breaker. It was the first dress that I had tried on and really felt like myself again. I needed to be myself. She got 5 plus months of BM, and then she got a really happy mom who was able to play with her and connect and love her. If now is the time for you, it's ok. Go for it.

lujain · October 2013

I EPed for 6 months. I'm not sure why I decided on 6 months as the goal. I did have a good freezer stash when I stopped pumping, so DD got half formula, half BM until 9 months. If you are not able to solve your pumping problems and you are not happy with EPing, there is no shame in stopping. Formula is just fine for babies, and your kiddo will be fine.

mslmk11 · October 2013

Thanks again ladies for all the encouragement. I got my Pumpin Pal in the mail today and tried it and so far it was not a painful endeavor. I forgot to check my nips before I went to pick up LO from DC (I was distracted to go get her) but I felt fine, so here's hoping.

Thanks again @estwd2 hopefully it continues to be amazing. I really think that'll be the solver right there. I hope anyway.

82Sonia · October 2013

mslmk11 said:

we had similar issues with her BF which is why I pump, and once we decided to just go with EP, you're right, everything was less stressful. I hadn't thought of seeing a LC because I figured they were just if you BF or had issues/questions with supply, not pumping. but I suppose that makes sense they could be a helpful resource. Thanks

They will totally answer pumping questions! They want to you be successful in feeding your child breastmilk whether that's directly from the breast or by pumping.

I think you need to try to get to the bottom of why your nipples are so damaged. That is NOT normal. I don't think you can really feel good about the decision to stop pumping until that's resolved. Call a LC, if they don't know why, they'll refer you to a doctor who might.

Just a thought, but the only time I've had pain with pumping was when DD had thrush. I didn't have any signs of it on my nipples but I definitely had it. A few drops of Nystatin a day for a couple of days made a world of difference. Could you have thrush?

ETA right after DD was born, my nipples were so cracked I honestly thought they were going to come off. BFing was excruciating. The nurse prescribed a steroid compound cream (it was $$$ and not covered by insurance - about $60 for a tiny bottle, but it was worth its weight in gold). They were healed overnight.

mslmk11 · October 2013

@82Sonia, if I don't BF, and LO had thrush, wouldn't that not affect me? and if I had thrush, why would that affect my boobs? I haven't noticed in myself any of the symptoms cited on WebMD and the only white I see (or think I see) in LO's mouth is just milk residue.

If these new pump shields don't help heal, I'm definitely going to schedule an appt with a LC.

groovygrl · October 2013

I had to open this just to figure out what the heck this subject line meant with all those abbreviations and I still don't know what btdt means...

82Sonia · October 2013

If you have only ever pumped then it wouldn't be thrush. I guess I didn't read carefully enough. Sorry, it's Friday and I'm chronically sleep deprived

If you've ever BF, you could have gotten it from baby's mouth and it might have never gone away. It's like having a yeast infection in your nipples.

mslmk11 · October 2013

@groovygrl hah. yeah what can I say, I figured it'd be an attention grabber. BTDT (I think) is been there done that.

@81sonia, we did try BF in the hospital and a couple of times at home, but she really never took to it. I didn't really feel issues, like the tearing and such, till maybe month, month and a half ago?

If my timing contradicts what I said in my original post, I'll use a disclaimer that I am HORRIBLE with guestimating time. soo..yeah.

Want a personalized experience?

FTM & BTDT EP moms - advice please! -(possible TMI)

Re: FTM & BTDT EP moms - advice please! -(possible TMI)

Married DH 7/30/11

CSC arrived 5/7/12

CHC arrived 6/2/14

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

FTM & BTDT EP moms - advice please! -(possible TMI)

Re: FTM &amp; BTDT EP moms - advice please! -(possible TMI)

Married DH 7/30/11

CSC arrived 5/7/12

CHC arrived 6/2/14

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: FTM & BTDT EP moms - advice please! -(possible TMI)