parents of 2 or more

proudworkingmom82 · October 2013

Parents of 2 more is having 2 kids harder or easier than you imagined?

suv75 · October 2013

Toddler and infant. Much harder than I imagined! I stay @ home and have help from my mom, but sooo hard still.

azzyberry · October 2013

It varies. The infant stage was a little more challenging because you have to juggle a newborn who is completely dependent on you and a toddler. Once my DD got more mobile though it became easier because they started playing together. Of course there are the times when they fight and someone is screaming.....

Overall I would say easier.

LBib · October 2013

DS1 is 2.5 and potty training, teething, and being clingy. DS2 is 8 weeks and bring a newborn. At the moment it's harder but it won't stay like this forever. I hope.

WasNotWas · October 2013

Harder. Much harder. Mine are 2.5 & r months. I'm amazed every day at how the addition of one child equates to the subtraction of so much of my time and energy. But I hear the first year is the worst

suv75 · October 2013

LBib said:
DS1 is 2.5 and potty training, teething, and being clingy. DS2 is 8 weeks and bring a newborn. At the moment it's harder but it won't stay like this forever. I hope.

Same except my LO is 12 weeks!

WasNotWas · October 2013

Correction 4 months. Not R months

sandyapples · October 2013

I thought it would be hard and it was hard. Mine are 3 and almost 1 and it's not too bad now.

Spapeggy · October 2013

The first 3 months were horrible. Ds was 2 1/2 when we had dd. the same week I had dd, ds stopped sttn and no lie started waking 5-8 times a night. I seriously got NO SLEEP! Dd ebf so I was feeding all the time and when she slept he was up. I got tonsillitis when dd was 3 weeks due to no rest (ds also stopped napping 1 month before dd was born.) I had tonsillitis, cold and ear infection for 13 days. The first 10 days of antibiotics didn't work. Ds now just started waking up once a night this month. It has been very hard but now getting much better! Ds was pt before dd which helped and I worked on getting him more independent before baby. Now that were 5 months out its way better. It's so worth it but the first few months were horrid

My mil had 5 kids and said 1 to 2 kids was hardest transition.

LoveActually4 · October 2013

Yeah DS1 is 2y10m and DS2 is 11m and this has been a really hard year. It's been much more difficult than I could have imagined but a lot has to do with personality. DS2 has been a much more difficult baby than DS1 and that has caused a lot more stress

Spapeggy · October 2013

It also solidified only wanting 2 and dh got his snip:)

flyingsaucer · October 2013

Both! My kids are close ish in age 2.5yrs) There are days when they make me nuts, but other a days when I am amazed and in awe of the bond that they have. They truly love and protect each other. The first 3 months are hard, but it gets easier (and then harder and easier :-).

Nita2603 · October 2013

Mine are 11 months apart. The first year was...honestly, really hard.
Now, at 1 and 2, we finally get a bit of a breather. But truly, it is hard.

ILoveBoys · October 2013

Depends on kids personalities and age gaps. DS1 and DS2 are 2yrs 6wks apart. DS2 and DD are 3 yrs 3 mos apart. It wasn't too bad. But all 3 of ours started STTN at 3-4 months and are pretty easygoing. (Note: NOT bragging just stating why it WASNT hard for us.)
Now at 8.5, 6.5 and 3, I love it even more. But we are done bc we didn't want to add a newborn to having 2 kids in school/sports, etc.

klondikebar · October 2013

We have 5+ years between our kids and the hardest part was starting over. One moment you have a pretty self sufficient kindergartner and there you are doing diapers and not sleeping again. It's an adjustment, but you fall back into the groove.

ASmallWonder · October 2013

CTGirl30 said:

DD is 2.5yrs and DS is almost 5 months. My daughter is more high maintenance than my son is turning out to be - he's turning into a happy, mellow little dude. He was a crabass for the first 3 months, though, and I was terrified I was going to end up with 2 spirited kids. I'm not a SAHM so I'm not home juggling the 2 of them all day long...and while I was on ML, my toddler continued full days at daycare. With that said, she's also fully PT'd and loves helping with her baby brother. She adores him. It's exhausting working all day and then doing childcare duty for 2 (my H works long hours) but as far as how hard it is? It's about what I imagined and there are struggles and tears all around sometimes but we are doing it and overall, both kids are happy and everyone's doing well.

Almost exactly this except that my older one isn't potty trained. Newbie was high maintenance at first but has gotten to be much more enjoyable so it's not so bad.

MagickalNarwhal · October 2013

Both. On a logistical level it was easier than I expected but only because my first was a particularly high needs kid who slept on average 10 hours in a 24 hour period from a week old until we reluctantly sleep trained at 7 mo, and didn't nap longer than 45 min for his first 11 months. And this baby is a particularly easy baby so far (she's 4 mo), and my older is now a pretty easy toddler. Also, we had a lot of the "routine" worked out and we had a lot less to figure out. The "easier" stuff is really due to the difference in temperament though - I was expecting another high needs kid so I really really lucked out.

On an emotional level it has been unexpectedly hard. I had a version of PPD after my second that I didn't have with my first. Our support system was non-existent (we found that out after our son was born but people made an effort then and they have since sort of dropped out of our lives). And, our LO was a surprise. So that adjustment was hard (we had only planned to have one kid). Also, I freaking missed my son so much for the first three months. We'd gotten such a nice routine down and I'm a much much much better toddler mom than infant mom. I was so looking forward to the time with just him, and I found myself frustrated and resentful of having to split my attention between them. It was also harder to do the things that I counted on to keep me sane before as a SAHM to just one, like getting out of the house, or doing things that cost money that we are trying not to spend now.

I know it will grow and change, and now that we are sort of in a bit of a groove it's getting a lot better. Yeah, it's hard, but it's getting fun finally and I know it will just get better!

wino2006 · October 2013

Easier. But I had a horrible time adjusting from 0 to 1. 1 to 2 was a breeze. It helped that DD1 was almost 4 and quite independent when DD2 came along. Of course there were rough moments, but now it's especially great because they play with each other and keep each other occupied so they leave me alone

LaurelBee · October 2013

Easier. Ds was a horrible sleeper, so Dd getting up twice a night is NBD. But I will say Dh is very active in parenting when he's home, so I have a good support usually. And Dd is my angel baby- she makes me want a 3rd

FrickandFrack · October 2013

It's a little but of both. Sometimes it's overwhelming but you also fall into a routine. At those times it's easier.

Eleventy11 · October 2013

There's 14 months between my two. It has been super easy. I've been home on ML for the past five months and will be off another two. My DD has been home with us the entire time. I was afraid that it would be super difficult, but I love it. Ironically, our decision to have DS so soon was based off how awesome DD was as an infant. DS is completely different and much more high needs. I wouldn't trade it for anything though.

blueyd1 · October 2013

My boys are 17 months apart and maybe it was because DS1 was still pretty young when DS2 came along, but we had a smooth transition. I kept DS1's routine after we got home from the hospital of still sending him to his in-home DCP even though I was on maternity leave. That allowed DS1 to keep a sense of normalcy and routine while giving me some QT with DS2 during the day.

I think what made it easier as well is that I did make DS2 wait sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I didn't let DS2 cry for hours on end or anything like that. But if I was reading a story with DS1 and DS2 started fussing, I would give it a minute for us to wrap up the story or page we were on before I took care of DS2. And I explained everything I did to DS1 so he felt included and I encouraged him to help me (eg, bring me a diaper). I know I also lucked out that DS2 was a totally chill baby, so that definitely made it easier.

Now, it's getting to be a little more challenging because, even though they play together and interact more, there's the normal stealing of toys/tantrum thing going on. Even so, I think it's totally worth it. I was terrified that I could never love another baby as much as I love DS1 and it's so true when they say a new space opens up in your heart.

gimmietimmies · October 2013

Fuck if I know.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2013

Easier but I am kind of a basket case and had horrible anxiety of how difficult it was going to be and when it didn't meet my expectations it almost seemed easy. I also brought my youngest home who couldn't have been an easier baby when my son was in an independent, easy to handle stage. I think if I brought dd home around the time he turned three I would have spent most the day drunk. Lol. It's easier now since they're at the age where they play together nicely well. It has it moments and when I have one kid one on one I think how much easier it is, but its worth it.

ks3pink · October 2013

It's hard. But it depends on the day how hard and it's definitely been doable for me. DD was 6 when I had my boys so maybe it's the age difference that makes it seem a little easier because she can do most things for herself. I will say though I have no idea what me time is any more. I usually spend my time alone asleep!