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2 yr old won't let dad put her to bed-new baby soon

pianoladysbpianoladysb member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
My 2 year old daughter & I are very close, always have been.  She prefers me to do most everything for her and she gets very upset when dad tries to help. She shows normal signs of independence like getting dressed, using the potty by herself & getting into her car seat but we have always struggled with her acceptance of dad's help.  He tries & tries & tries to connect with her but she constantly pushes him away & cries for me.  When he tried to help today while I was cooking dinner, it resulted in a 30 minute meltdown.

Normally, I'd look at this as just another phase we have to get through but I'm expecting our 2nd baby in 11 weeks.  I'm starting to be VERY uncomfortable, especially during our night time book reading routine since she sits on my lap.  I'm also worried about my daughter not allowing my husband to help put her to bed once the baby arrives.  We've tried having dad in the room during storytime but she still tells him to leave & won't let him sit in the glider ("only mommy sit here").  I've also bought a special "Daddy" book that ONLY daddy can read her.  Still struggling with him actually being able to put her down & me not being there.  Any suggestions?  Thanks!
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Re: 2 yr old won't let dad put her to bed-new baby soon

  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    maybe let her change the routine entirely?  doesn't have to include a single book.  my daughter much, much, much, much MUCH prefers me to do bedtime - especially the beginner.  and I do it 99.99% of the time.  (More, actually - I have not done approximately three bedtimes in her life, which is less than 0.01%.)  but if daddy is going to do it, or when he takes over for me (with the monitor) when I walk the dog, they interact entirely differently.

    not saying it will solve the problem, but it may be a part of it.

    also, can you leave the house when he is trying to put her to bed - at least for the next 11 weeks?  that may help a lot if she knows you really aren't available.
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  • pianoladysbpianoladysb member
    Thanks everyone.  I think I will give that a try.  I'm actually looking forward to it!  Being the first one up with her in the morning & the last one to put her down at night (and everything in between) is getting exhausting!  And I've got to get ready to add a newborn to the mix ;-)  Keeping fingers crossed that this goes well..... Thanks again
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  • jaylynn808jaylynn808 member
    Both my kids were the same way. At times they still are. It's only been recently that my son prefers or allows daddy at bedtime. Like the others suggested, we had a complete change in our routine. He added songs that are silly and hide under the blanket. Things mommy never did. I still read a story with him, but now hubby can get him settled while I tuck my older one in. They just need their own thing maybe. Never left, but I've heard it suggested but lots of families trying to wean. Good luck!
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  • PunkyBoosterPunkyBooster member
    We are going thru this, minus the pregnant part. With some coaxing, dh can now read to him and I tuck him in.
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  • SpapeggySpapeggy member
    Dh needs to get more alone time. I'd stop doing done things for her if dads home and let him do more. It'll be rough but it will be awful when baby comes if you don't. I like the you leaving the house, but she's going to have to let dad help when your home so I dunno
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    Take turns.  Every other night from now on.  She doesn't get a choice here.  She's 2.  You will very much need her to get over it by the time the baby comes. 

    DH and I take turns every other night for bedtime.  Our books are read downstairs on the couch.  She gets to choose 3 stories a night.  Then we take her upstairs, brush teeth and she's straight to bed. 

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  • janinekrausejaninekrause member

    Agree with above posters. Leave the house more, give them time alone, keep trying. A 2 year old will try and control but ultimately you are the parents, and it probably is SO SO hard for him that she wants you so much more.

     

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