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Now that Mediation is over

bebe11bebe11 member
edited October 2013 in Blended Families

Mediaton was by far the least fun I've ever had.  Sitting in a room with my ex for three hours was awful.  BUT we came to an agreement, which wasn't easy to do.  He agreed to no Wednesday overnights, just dinner and this only applys to the school year (42 weeks) and he will make up missed time over the summer, which ended up working out to 50/50 for the 10 weeks of summer.  I wasn't thrilled with it, and I know my DD won't like it when summer rolls around, but for now, it is what it is.  I am not sure how ex's gf took it, as she will be the one that will have to entertain DD for all these extra summer days.  It works out good for me, since I am at work and this past summer was so hard for me, since I had no one to watch DD and she is to old for the YMCA type summer camps.

The best part of mediation was I learned that in addtion to being a child abuser, I am apparently an alcoholic too.  YEP, my ex said this to me.  I later asked him to explain to me how he came to this conclusion since we don't talk, we don't spend time together and we have ZERO mutual friends who would feed him info.  His response was "I've heard there is a lot of drinking that goes on" It really is laughable, because I might have a few drinks over the weekend and it is typically when I don't even have my DD, so I told him that before he starts making these types of acusations he really should get his facts straight.

I forgot to add... Now I'd like to get CS re-evaluated since we've never done it through the court.  I have a feeling that ex will try something shaddy with his income, is there a way they verify it, or just take the pay stubs and then not question it?

 

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Re: Now that Mediation is over

  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    I'm glad it's over with.  Summer will be rough, but let's cross that bridge when we get to it.  If DH had agreed to something like that without consulting me, I'd be seriously pissed.  If you're committing me to something like that, you sure as hell better ask me first.  I won't be surprised when Summer rolls around and BD is asking if you can pick up DD early or if he can skip days.

    If it helps at all, BM accuses DH of having a drinking a problem every time they go to mediation.  I'm surprised she hasn't claimed I'm an alcoholic yet.  But every time she did this, the mediator asked if DH has ever had a DUI (no), ever been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning (no), and if BM had any documented proof of this alleged drinking problem.  She of course had none.  The mediator flat out told her that making unfounded accusations isn't going to help her case at all and that people having a drink here and there isn't against the law.  I think mediators and Judges (for the most part) are smart enough to see through the bitter, jaded accusations.  All BD did was make a jackass of himself and try to justify how he is the lesser of 2 evils here.  Whatever.

    So go have a drink and celebrate!!  
    ;)
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  • CurlieWhirlieCurlieWhirlie member
    I wonder if he's getting the "you're an alcoholic" because your DD once said mommy had a glass of wine. Something innocent like that. I mean, if I believed my DS, he never brushes his teeth and eats nothing but M&Ms at his dad's house! 

    Jo is totally right that mediators and judges have seen all the bitter, hateful shit people throw at each other in divorce, and can see through it. In their last mediation session, BM actually said to SO "well if you wanted me to share information about the boys with you, you shouldn't have left". Uh....  The mediator was all "let me redirect you to reality...."

    We're on the opposite side of almost the exact same agreement you just came to, with only EOWE and Wednesday dinners, but EOW during the summer. I hope it works out for you. It's hard for SO not to have the kids in our home more during the school year, but as a mother I do think it's important for elementary-school-aged kids to be in one home during the school week. I hope summer works out for you, too. Camp is wicked expensive!
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  • SueBearSueBear member
    Did you get him to agree to have a bed for her?
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  • twister22twister22 member
    I'm glad the Wednesday overnights during the school year aren't happening anymore. It sucks that summer will be 50/50, but maybe that means XH will stop his manipulative behaviors with DD and start actually being a father. 
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  • bebe11bebe11 member
    SueBear said:
    Did you get him to agree to have a bed for her?
    During mediation, he lied to my face about the bed situation.  He said that the "plastic" was a mattress cover, but one day while DD and I were in Costco I pointed out the mattresses that had the plastic on them to see if that was what she meant and she said yes.  Anyway, he did end up taking the so called mattress cover off and put the mattress on a box spring and my DD said it was much more comfortable.  The mediator told him that he should send me a picture of the bed, but of course he never did and then ended up fixing it for dd.

     

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  • bebe11bebe11 member
    twister22 said:
    I'm glad the Wednesday overnights during the school year aren't happening anymore. It sucks that summer will be 50/50, but maybe that means XH will stop his manipulative behaviors with DD and start actually being a father. 
    I can only hope! :)

     

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