Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Intro - Hello all!

aim1218aim1218 member
in Blended Families
Hey how's it going everybody!  Just wanted to do a brief intro about myself and blended family situation (after lurking I feel like I'm living the BF dream!)

I'm 22 and at age 17 I started dating (now) DH who was 23 and had an 18 month daughter.  He and his ex were never married but were together for about 4 years or so.  He was such the protective daddy that he did not let me become an active part of his daughter's life until we were dating for a year.  Around this time his ex had gotten engaged and his daughter was about to gain a stepfather.   We took about 4 extra years before tying the knot  ourselves :P
Alas, I have been considered the stepmom for the past 4 years and have gotten numerous amounts of nicknames for it (Steppy, Mom-A, to now just Mom with a silly pronunciation of Maahhhm).

BM has since had 2 other children with her husband and after a year long almost really nasty custody battle (since no divorce ever took place no custody was drawn up, long story short, BM had married a Navy man, they were moving 6 hours away, DH freaked and went to court) but now that we have all gotten over the punches in the belly from court, DH and I were given a job opportunity to move only 2 hours away from his little girl, and I have since become good friends with BM (her husband is deployed until December so I'm sure he and DH will hit it off when he gets back)

Since getting married last month DH and I have been actively TTC.  BM and I have decided to go the extra mile of making sure her kids and mine will be given the opportunity to grow together just as much as SD is able to with both sides (Basically allow everyone to be brothers/sisters/cousins/whatever they want to be growing up) which I am ecstatic about because I have always wanted SD to never feel like she can 'only visit one family at a time'.  We have already started implementing family days together (BM and I are actually planning a surprise bday trip to disney for my DH and her son since their bdays are 9 days apart, but shhh!) and I love her other children and they seem to like me a lot too :-]

I get a lot of weird looks and head shakes because I choose to be close with BM and try and be a big happy blended family.  I don't care though.  BM and I both feel that we are making a wonderful choice for our children, and we honestly do get a long in a lot of ways (we are notorious for having 2 hour long phone conversations or sitting up til 5 am chatting when we are at each other's house for the night)

So call me crazy call me what you will, we are happy with our blended family choices :-]

My Fertility Friend Chart

Self proclaimed Stepmom since 2009

Married since September 2013

Trying to become a full time mommy since September 2013


Report Reply to Post

Re: Intro - Hello all!

  • ambrvanambrvan member
    Umm... Is this for real?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    Considering you started dating at 17, I am glad you waited four years. I still think it's way too young, but tell that to my 24 year old XSD who married at 23 married the father of their now 2 year old son and took on 4 stepsons. 

    Who am I to judge?  I am over 20 years older than you, probably more jaded from my life experiences,  and raised in a completely different way I am sure. So all l I have to say is if you if you and your husband are happy - that's fantastic. Even more fantastic is you have a BM who you get along with.  I wish I could co-parent as easily with my XH. 

    Welcome to the board.

     

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
    Report Reply
  • joshsmandyjoshsmandy member
    I think it is great that you guys are able to have a working relationship, things will be so much nicer for your SD
    Report Reply
  • aim1218aim1218 member
    edited October 2013
    joshsmandy said:
    I think it is great that you guys are able to have a working relationship, things will be so much nicer for your SD
    She has grown MUCH happier since we have all started getting along.  She went through a very angry stage when things went downhill a couple years ago.  But since we have all made peace, and she has the ability to have all her parents together without tense air all around like it was before, I have noticed a significant change in her behavior.  And I in turn have become a happier person, watching the person you love go through a very heartbreaking experience isn't easy, especially when it is completely out of your control  :-S

    My Fertility Friend Chart

    Self proclaimed Stepmom since 2009

    Married since September 2013

    Trying to become a full time mommy since September 2013


    Report Reply
  • aim1218aim1218 member
    edited October 2013
    wendilea  LOL yes I did catch some dating restrictions from my guardian until I graduated highschool.  He wasn't allowed in my room at all, day or night, alone or not.  And curfew was always home by 9:00 PM, but he was allowed to stay until10, 11 if we pushed for it :P 
    At the time I felt pretty cool being a teen dating an older man.  Now, all I can think is 'holy crap, my husband might be bald before I'm 25, that's not cool, I can't be 25 married to a bald man!'
    Thankfully enough he is a year shy of 30 and he still has a full head of ringlet curls.  Keeping my fingers crossed they stay for another couple years! :P

    My Fertility Friend Chart

    Self proclaimed Stepmom since 2009

    Married since September 2013

    Trying to become a full time mommy since September 2013


    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"