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LGBT Parenting
kristynlee710
member
Equality Vent
kristynlee710
member
So we met with an LGBT family attorney tonight to find out the options we have to protect our family. We live in VA and can A) risk a long drive to deliver in a DC hospital so M can be on the birth certificate allowing her a second parent adoption at a cost of +$2500 
prepare wills, advanced medical directives, and POA before my due date, deliver here in VA, then have M file for immediate joint custody at a cost of +$1800 C) establish temporary residency with some of my extended family in FL and apply for a quickie second parent adoption at an estimated cost of +$2500 plus cost for home study. We choose to live in VA because M's family is here and we love where we live other than the lack of equality. It's just so frustrating that we have to pay through the nose to have legal protection and rights that straight couples have 
I am not one to petition family and friends during election season but I don't even want to imagine what it could mean for us if Cuccinelli is elected next month...
prepare wills, advanced medical directives, and POA before my due date, deliver here in VA, then have M file for immediate joint custody at a cost of +$1800 C) establish temporary residency with some of my extended family in FL and apply for a quickie second parent adoption at an estimated cost of +$2500 plus cost for home study. We choose to live in VA because M's family is here and we love where we live other than the lack of equality. It's just so frustrating that we have to pay through the nose to have legal protection and rights that straight couples have I am not one to petition family and friends during election season but I don't even want to imagine what it could mean for us if Cuccinelli is elected next month... This discussion has been closed.
Re: Equality Vent
I am thankful to live in NY. Since we are using anonymous donor sperm, C can go on the birth certificate as the second parent without a problem. If we were using a known donor, then we would need to pay a lawyer to have his rights severed and then C would complete the second parent adoption. No matter how we make a family, it ends up costing thousands of dollars. It is discouraging when there are so many people who accidentally get pregnant with children they do not want and cannot take care of. No one questions them or their legal right to have a child.
Me: 30 DW (aka C): 29
Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12
***CP mentioned***
We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm. 8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy. We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET. I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013.
11/14/14 - Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good.
12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2
12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)
1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2
****All Welcome!****
We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.
Yeah, it really does suck that our families aren't recognized. It doesn't make any sense why we can't just list our partners as parents on the birth certificate without having to jump through all these hoops. It just makes life harder than it has to be.
But still, I am grateful that it's 2013 and not 1983. Thirty years ago gay marriage wasn't even close to being an option and the resources out there for gay parents were few and far between.
Good luck with your decision.