August 2012 Moms

Preschool problems (long)

So my 3 year old started preschool last month two days a week. She is usually pretty quiet around other kids, so we wanted her to have more opportunity to get comfortable in social settings.

On Tuesday, her teacher asked me to encourage her at home to be doing the songs and fingerplays at school. I was a little surprised because she has been singing the stuff at home, so it isn't that she doesn't know the words. That afternoon, DD told me she had had timeout, but she couldn't remember why. So today at drop off I asked. And the teacher told me the timeout was for not singing with the group!

This is on top of finding out yesterday that someone at the preschool or the church it is in forged my initials on a check for a book order. I wrote it to Scholastic, and someone crossed it out, made it out to the church, and wrote my initials by it. We already got the books, so I know they didn't pocket the money, but still. Talk about a breach of trust. DH is talking to the bank and church office about that.

I am fairly certain today will be her last day there, but I wanted to see what you ladies thought. Are we overreacting? Or is it just wise to pull her out of this place?

 

 

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Re: Preschool problems (long)

  • That is crap. I would NEVER have given a time out for that. If she's shy, which is what I assume is happening, I would have her sit next to me, encourage her without expectations, etc. It sounds like her teacher didn't take her ECE classes. And it just goes to show that time outs aren't effective. Kids never remember why they got them.

    And the check thing, I would also be livid. I'd call them and probably threaten to report them.



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  • Oh and talk to the director about the time out and your concerns about DD adjusting. It could be that those practices don't jive with the center's policy. FFS, we're talking about three year olds. I call it a successful circle time if everyone sits for it.
    Well, the director is the main teacher, so there's really no one else at the preschool to talk to, unfortunately. I'm glad you agree with me, though!

     

     

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  • I don't think you are over reacting at all. It doesn't sound like a good fit and I would change too.
    victoria5month samantha5


  • Oh and talk to the director about the time out and your concerns about DD adjusting. It could be that those practices don't jive with the center's policy. FFS, we're talking about three year olds. I call it a successful circle time if everyone sits for it.

    Well, the director is the main teacher, so there's really no one else at the preschool to talk to, unfortunately. I'm glad you agree with me, though!


    That's too bad. It sounds like she doesn't know what she's doing. I have a sore spot for teachers who punish shyness.
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  • Wow, you're not overreacting! The fact that they didn't even discuss that she was in time out with you, to me, is crap.
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  • I agree with everyone else. They didn't even tell you she got a time out, AND it was for being a shy kid? Are they serious?
  • Team get her out of there, stat.  That's no way to treat a little kid, and there are plenty of good preschools out there.  No reason to keep her there.  I'd be pissed.

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  • @Baker_Bride is exactly right, as usual.  Time out for not singing will not encourage a shy kid to join in.  That is so not the point of preschool!

    As a teacher who has done Scholastic book orders and book fairs MANY times, if the check was wrong, I would also call the parent.  I would tell them they could send/bring a new one or I could change it for them, if they wanted.  But I never did it without consent!  That's ridiculous.
  • I would be MAD if they put my child in time-out for not participating.
  • You are absolutely not over-reacting!  That is no reason to put a child in time out at 3 years old!  Wow I am livid for you!!

    And the check thing, that's the cherry on top. Get her out of there!
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  • I'm the oddball here, but I would have an in-depth conversation with the teacher/director before pulling her out.
    BFP #1 9/2010 (lost our baby at 21 weeks) BFP #2 8/2011 (ectopic pregnancy) BFP #3 10/2011 (chemical pregnancy) BFP #4 12/2011 (Abigail born 8/15/12) BFP #5 5/2013 (Griffin born 1/23/14 with heart defects, now repaired!)

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  • A time-out for not participating at 3 yrs sounds rather babywise to me. I'd tell the director why you're leaving, and move on to a more nurturing environment.
  • @piphigirl, actually she did sing with them today, so of course, the teacher probably thinks she did the right thing because it worked. Sigh.

    DH talked to the bank: Apparently it isn't even illegal to change who a check is payable to if it is deposit only for a business. But it still doesn't sit well.

    DH talked to the teacher during school, so I was ready for her to talk to me about it at pick up, and she didn't. That seems weird to me. I know I could have brought it up, but I was scared of getting into it.

    It will probably come down to what @CourtandNate said, if we aren't comfortable with them anymore, we'll need to make a change. DH and I agreed to take the weekend to look at options and think about it before we make a final decision. I appreciate your input, everyone!

     

     

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  • Well, aside from the fact that forging your signature is illegal, it makes me wonder what other unscrupulous behaviour is going on behind closed doors. Get her the hell our of there. Fast.

    @LiliDragon, apparently changing who the check is payable to is legal in this situation (deposit only to a business)...maybe not forging the initials. DH didn't mention that part after he talked to the bank. But I definitely agree with your general point. I don't want to have to wonder what else is going on if she stays there.

     

     

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  • Aww, I'm sorry. The check thing is a big deal to me, but the timeout for not participating? What?? Especially with a child who is shy! I am the lead in our 3 year old preschool and that is just not anywhere on my radar. I totally agree with @Bakerbride that successful circle time is one where most everyone is sitting at the same time. The school may also want to look at the length of circle time. They should only be sitting there for 2-3 minutes per year of age. So, really, a very short time. 

    We have a Freddie Frog area, and I hate to call it a time-out area, because it gives the wrong meaning. I have 2 kids who want to constantly pull things off shelves and mess with other kids during our circle time and they get to choose to follow our classroom rules (helping hands, walking feet, quiet lips, looking eyes, listening ears) and sit with our class or go visit Freddie. They generally choose to come sit with us instead of tearing through the room. I do not tell a parent every single time a 3 year old misbehaves, because really, they are three. We redirect and move on. It is a constant.

    **I don't think your daughter was misbehaving by the way.
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  • Our checks for book orders were always made out to Scholastic, never to the school. That's shady.
    Mrs. 5/03*DD 2/07*DS1 5/09*DS2 7/12
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