Using a friends breast milk

Babyhull4 · October 2013

I was on another forum and came across a discussion about using someone else's Breast Milk. I never knew that so many women are considering this and I also never knew that they have Breast Milk Banks out there.

I guess I'm out of the loop! For me if I couldn't produce enough Breast Milk, I would probably just use baby milk. What are you thoughts ladies on this topic? Would you ever consider doing this?

Mazingmommyof6 · October 2013

HIV is passed on to children through breast milk... Never ever would I use someone else's milk. Sorry. Not being dramatic just realistic.

slwprincess · October 2013

I would probably use a family member or close friend as long as I knew them WELL. I'm can honestly think of only 3 people who would fit into that category. Strangers, no way. Would consider milk bank for a preemie if I knew it was tested. FWIW, I'm no BF nazi. I combo fed both babies and will probably do the same this time as well- I think formula is great for those that need it but I do think BM is important for those first few weeks/mos when possible.

RondackHiker · October 2013

Good milk banks test the milk and it is completely safe. It's also really expensive.

I wouldn't do a online milk swap with no testing, since we've seen on here that many women lie and are just crazy.

I'd consider accepting it from a close friend or sister and would ask to see medical tests results first .

Reneej918 · October 2013

My sister in law is adopting and her baby will be a month or two younger than mine. I plan on trying to pump extra to feed both of our babies for as long as possible. I believe it is illegal to sell breast milk, but there are banks that you can order it from.

KaraLeigh115 · October 2013

A girl I know actually posted about this on FB after she had her second. Apparently you go through testing and all but idk. It still seems sketchy. Like I would not ever. I know "breast is best" but if I can't provide then maybe it was meant to be for the baby to have formula... Everything happens for a reason. I can't fathom giving my baby liquid from someone else's body that I don't even know... It's gross to me.

boogerbearoriginal · October 2013

Milk banks screen donors for diseases/drug use, so going through that is perfectly safe.

Obviously using a peer-to-peer service means you're taking a risk that the person is being honest. Although, IME women who go through the effort to BF/donate BM are typically not junkies. Of course there are exceptions, but I think most people who BF are cautious about what they put in their bodies for their own baby's sake.

Using a friend/family member who I know would be less risky than a stranger since you typically know if that person is doing drugs/such. Also, it's different than blood and not all things transmit via BM. Even drinking, for example, the alcohol metabolizes out of the milk so it's not like just because Mom had a glass of wine baby will get drunk.

I will never understand why people find milk sharing sooooo freaky/weird, when they will willingly drink milk from a cow. Dairy cows often get milked despite having mastitis and other issues, although I doubt any are coke-heads

cbear47 · October 2013

The processing of breast milk for milk banks is more tedious than processing regular cow milk. (Testing for nutrients, pasteurization, etc.) It is a very safe product.

boogerbearoriginal · October 2013

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Most breast milk banks are run purely though donation and there is no incentive for a "junky" to bother with pumping, storage, and trying to pass the intense health screening tests required.
You can also have the milk tested yourself once it is in your possession.
WTH is "baby milk?" Do you mean formula, @babyhull4?

I assumed that was what she meant but I found the phrasing very odd too.

RondackHiker · October 2013

armalan12 said:
One of my friends works at a milk bank and its super expensive. Its also hard to get. Usually they are prescribed for early babies whose mommas aren't producing.

And it's usually for babies who are sick or can't do formula for some reason, although moms who just want to avoid formula will request it as well.

NoelMarieFrey · October 2013

slwprincess said:

I would probably use a family member or close friend as long as I knew them WELL. I'm can honestly think of only 3 people who would fit into that category. Strangers, no way. Would consider milk bank for a preemie if I knew it was tested. FWIW, I'm no BF nazi. I combo fed both babies and will probably do the same this time as well- I think formula is great for those that need it but I do think BM is important for those first few weeks/mos when possible.

This is what I plan on doing as well! and I agree, I would use a family member or friend. But probably not a strangers unless I had hard proof !

magentawarped · October 2013

I considered using a friend's breast milk with my daughter because my milk dried up at about four months. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you get it from a trusted source.

Babyhull4 · October 2013

Oh I didn't know that anyone was confused but yes baby formula. I normally say baby milk.

wheathergirl · October 2013

I do not know why but the idea grosses me out. I am very excited to BF my LO but if it doesn't work out I will use formula.

sdlaura · October 2013

There was just an article about this in the NY Times - how most donated breastmilk is full of bacteria. I donated to a milk bank and had to go through lots of blood tests, and they still pasteurize it. Most of that milk goes to babies that have a medical need for it, and it's very expensive.

boogerbearoriginal · October 2013

L12541 said:

There was just an article about this in the NY Times - how most donated breastmilk is full of bacteria. I donated to a milk bank and had to go through lots of blood tests, and they still pasteurize it. Most of that milk goes to babies that have a medical need for it, and it's very expensive.

Well, to be fair, most of the world in general is full of bacteria. Bacteria can be found in formula, the water used to make it, on the bottle/nipple used to feed baby, on the breast of mom nursing, on the toy baby puts in her mouth, etc.

But yes, banked milk is also pasteurized for safety reasons same as every other commercially available milk in USA. (I know that raw milk exists and is legal in some places/circumstances, but by and large the milk MOST people consume in US is pasteurized).

versed · October 2013

I'd be open to using the milk of another I trusted.

I belong to a community of local moms, and one of the moms (not one I knew personally) passed shortly after the birth of her daughter. Many of us donated milk to the baby when this happened. I had 600oz of BM in my freezer from before DS was diagnosed with a milk allergy. I was planning to donate it to a bank, but this opportunity arose. I was happy to help this father and baby, as were many in our community.

karich · October 2013

I may be flamed for this....but I used some of my best friends breastmilk to fill in a "gap" when I didn't have enough frozen BM in my freezer. I was working way too much and I just fell behind. I didn't want to give formula, and to be honest, after a few months of exclusively giving breastmilk, I'm not sure DD would have taken formula.
I've known my best friend for 20 years, and know she is clean

She has been screened for milk donation herself....since she clearly could be a wet nurse.
I've never really told anyone outside of DH because of the social stigma, but I didn't find it strange and either did he. Just trying to feed my baby the best way I knew how.

cbear47 · October 2013

ivedonethisb4 said:
I wanted to BF this baby so bad because I just feel its best....but its just not an option this time around. My milk has to be dry before I can have RAI treatment for my cancer and after the treatment it is unusable because its contaminated.

My sister suggested a milk bank but it's just not something we could afford.

Because if your particular situation, I would look into it a bit more. (SS that you are!! 8-> ). I bet you could get breast milk at a much lower cost/through your insurance (maybe free?) because of your treatments. Just something to think about before paying for formula. :bz

PhCaulfield · October 2013

I actually have volunteered for a milk bank on several occasions preparing milk for babies, so I obviously don't find milk banks 'icky.' As other PPs have said, receiving milk from a milk bank is completely safe. All mothers are tested, and the milk is pasteurized. The milk bank I volunteer for is a nonprofit that provides milk for babies that really NEED it, not just moms who want it. Primarily, this means babies of moms who can't breastfeed for various reasons and includes preemies, very ill babies, or babies with severe allergies. I don't think anyone can just 'buy it,' though I know those types of banks exist as well, just not in my area.

notreal2 · October 2013

BlueDot818 said:

I've heard that some women sell BM on Craigslist. I find that totally gross! Milk banks I understand, but Internet random milk well no thanks!

And I have heard that a big purchaser of this type of milk is body builder. This I don't understand at all.

ShePersisted · October 2013

notreal2 said:

And I have heard that a big purchaser of this type of milk is body builder. This I don't understand at all.

Babyhull4 · October 2013

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Babyhull4 said:

Oh I didn't know that anyone was confused but yes baby formula. I normally say baby milk.

Curious, if you don't mind - where are you from?

I feel like we use a lot of really different slang/terminology from one another and I'm wondering if it's regional.

I'm from Maryland

Meghan14 · October 2013

L12541 said:

There was just an article about this in the NY Times - how most donated breastmilk is full of bacteria. I donated to a milk bank and had to go through lots of blood tests, and they still pasteurize it. Most of that milk goes to babies that have a medical need for it, and it's very expensive.

Although most of the time its just fine a a great option for many families, I was about to mentioned this article.

I would definitely consider milk from someone close, but I probably would not use from a bank and would certainly NEVER get it from somewhere that wasn't a legit bank.

So impressed with you ladies who have worked in milk banks, or are thinking about pumping for others- go you!

karich · October 2013

I really don't want to start a breastmilk vs. formula debate, because I believe both give mothers a great option, and there are many babies who thrive on formula.
But, there have been several formula recalls recently after babies have become very sick and even died after consuming it. I can't find a single incidence of a baby becoming ill after consuming donated breastmilk from a milk bank.
I believe using breastmilk from a reputable milk bank is very safe....so safe that many milk banks provide milk to NICUs.

VAMomma31 · October 2013

@TyrannosaurusLex Maybe it's a family or a cultural thing...one state over from MD, and I've never heard formula referred to as baby milk.

Jecca07 · October 2013

I have a friend who produces EXCESSIVE amounts of milk when she's nursing. A few years ago she had so much she offered to sell it to friends. Mutual friend wasn't producing enough and took her up on it. Later I was talking to mutual friend's husband about my DD not wanting to nurse anymore and so having to switch to formula. He said "Our daughter took breastmilk her entire first year!" Well, yeah, thanks to (friend), that's technically true. But seriously, no need to gloat! It's not my fault I had to use formula, nor is there anything wrong with it. Same guy who tells me he'd never buy a Prius, even though he loves everything about them, simply because "it's a Prius" and he's one of those jerks who makes fun of them constantly.

sdlaura · October 2013

karich said:

I really don't want to start a breastmilk vs. formula debate, because I believe both give mothers a great option, and there are many babies who thrive on formula. But, there have been several formula recalls recently after babies have become very sick and even died after consuming it. I can't find a single incidence of a baby becoming ill after consuming donated breastmilk from a milk bank. I believe using breastmilk from a reputable milk bank is very safe....so safe that many milk banks provide milk to NICUs.

This is not true. Babies have gotten sick recently from formula in other countries, like China, but it very rarely happens in the U.S.

karich · October 2013

No true?? It took me less than a minute to find these instances through a google search.
Also: where do you think infant formula is made?? There are manufacturing plants all over the world, it's not just made in the US.

https://www.cdc.gov/features/cronobacter/?mobile=nocontent

https://articles.washingtonpost.com/2008-11-27/news/36808248_1_fda-spokeswoman-judy-leon-cyanuric-acid-melamine-in-baby-formula

sdlaura · October 2013

The first article says that 4-6 infants were sickened in 2011, and the second article says nothing about babies in the U.S. getting sick. It says:

"Leon said that the amounts discovered are safe and that parents should continue to feed formula to their children. "We know that trace levels do not pose a risk whatsoever," she said."

I just don't think that 4-6 infants in the past few years means that "there have been several recent formula recalls recently after babies became very sick and even died after consuming it."

I still see no evidence of that. I BF my baby, but I think that statements like that about baby formula amount to fear-mongering.

karich · October 2013

Fear mongering regarding formula wasn't my intention. I was forming an argument saying giving babies donated breastmilk from a milk bank was safe.
IMO, no amount of melamine or cyanuric acid should be in infant formula.

shashonie · October 2013

What is interesting about some of the responses is that formula comes from a mammal (and formula has had it's on contamination problems in the past) as well and we have no problem using it if needed or as our first choice. But screened and tested breastmilk from a milk bank is icky pretty much. I'd go to an accredited milk bank before formula in my own case, but can understand how the mindset can be different from people. Fluid from humans= icky, but from cow teats is yummy! BTW, I'm not bashing cow juice, I love me some Greek yogurt.

cksmith29 · October 2013

My sister gave BM to my other sister when her baby refused to nurse. I found it a bit weird but the more I think about it the more I think it's a good idea. I think if it's a well-known, trustworthy doner then the recipient should feel good about it.

Also, my sister donated to a milk bank. According to my mom and dad, she produced more milk than a Holstein (we're from a long line of dairy farmers). I thought it was a neat thing for her to do.

Babyhull4 · October 2013

VAMomma31 said:
@TyrannosaurusLex Maybe it's a family or a cultural thing...one state over from MD, and I've never heard formula referred to as baby milk.

To each is own.

Using a friends breast milk

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