Anyone rather stay home for the holidays?

Nita14701 · October 2013

So I'm starting to think about Thanksgiving and Christmas and how I'd much rather stay at home with LO and DH and have a small meal and chill out on the sofa in my pajamas and catch up on sleep than do the whole family holiday thing. For thanksgiving we usually do dinner with DH's side of the family, they're great but their are tons of them and they are loud. For Christmas we usually end up making an 8 hour drive to hang out with my side of the family.

Has anyone else felt like this? I just feel like we're always rushing around and I would love to just take a break and chill out at home and enjoy the fact that DH and I both have off time from work at the same time and relax with LO.

LO has a cold right now and is teething so we've had quite a few sleepless nights lately, which is probably contributing to my fanaticizing about staying at home for the holidays.

JJ_13 · October 2013

Um, yes. I feel this way. But, we'll still travel for the holidays... ugh. Luckily, our families are both a 2 hour drive away so I do think we're going to start traveling on teh actual day - that way we get a little bit of our own little family holiday on the "eve" of the holiday and early morning and then we'll plan to set out in the car mid-morning and be with family by lunch time.

sugarbear0524 · October 2013

I totally understand about the loud ILs. Sometimes it's just too much. We have 20 people on DH's side and they are loud, including 7 kids under the age of 7 (3 two year old boys, including mine). FIL does't hear very well (but won't admit it) so the TV is blasting. It is a circus but they are sweet loving people so I am blessed.

I am blessed to have the best of both worlds. For Thanksgiving, we will go to MIL/FIL's house. They live in our neighborhood so we can go home when we want to. The next day, we will go to my parents' house 3 hours away and see them over the weekend, just my family of 3 and my parents which will be pretty quiet and relaxing. For Christmas, we are going to my parents' house Christmas Eve through the 26th. Then we will see ILs over the weekend.

jf198400 · October 2013

I think once you have children you have to decide what is best for your family. We are lucky that both our families are local. But DHs brother and sister live 6hrs away and they still travel for the holidays with a 3yr old. If I was them I would stay home for Christmas and then travel sometime between Christmas and New Years. I think kids deserve to have Christmas morning in their own home. If the grandparents are upset about it, let them be the ones to travel. It's a heck of a lot easier for people without little kids to travel.

Samiantha101 · October 2013

We're staying home, but it's because of lack of other options. My h doesn't have family and nobody in my small family does anything. I totally loved being a child and celebrating the holidays.

KL777 · October 2013

We're staying home for Thanksgiving, but we will be making that 8.5 hour drive to family for Christmas. I totally understand where you're coming from though. Maybe you all can stay home for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and travel next year? Do an every other year thing.

Nechie122 · October 2013

No way! Now that we live 900 miles from our closest family, I'm so jealous of people who can take holiday plans for granted. Spending a holiday on our own SUCKS. And it's important to me that DD gets to build those relationships and holiday memories with our extended family. DH and I are very committed to putting aside money/vacation days for the major holidays at least.

Leap08 · October 2013

We're traveling for both this year - Thanksgiving with my husband's family and Christmas with mine. I'm actually really looking forward to Thanksgiving, but that's mostly because we are not staying with family. His family lives in San Diego, and we rented a beach condo for the week. So basically it's a vacation for us with some family time thrown in.

And I love Christmas with my family. It doesn't seem like Christmas to me if we aren't all together.

I do understand how you feel, though. Traveling with kids can be tough, and I get the desire to just have some relaxing time at home. You have to do what make you happy.

rubber_chicken · October 2013

God yes. Last year we went to my parent's for Thanksgiving. We saw my inlaws for a couple hours on Christmas Eve, then had Christmas Day all to ourselves. We had "Jewish Christmas" - watched movies in our pjs and ordered Chinese food. It was HEAVEN.

I would LOVE to do this again, but I'm already getting pressure to see my parents for Christmas. It's "their turn" they say. I say they're welcome to make the four hour drives up to us :P

skyejo · October 2013

I'm all for staying at home with DH and the girls for the same reasons as you--we're always go go go so the last thing that I want to do for the holidays is go go go some more. But unfortuntley DH and his side of the family is obsessed with Thanksgiving. And not that I don't like them, I do, but we have to make a 5+ hour drive for a meal plus cram a million people into a 4 bedroom home. Seems silly to me. But we've had turkey day at our place the last three years and DH really wants to see his family, so we're going. But to compromise we're leaving on Friday so we get the entire weekend back home as a family.

For Christmas we will travel 4 hours to see my parents for a couple days the week before Christmas then spend the actual holiday at home. Next year if all goes according to plan I'll be super pregnant so there will be no traveling. I'm looking forward to that a whole lot more than this year.

emberlee3 · October 2013

Yes! I convinced my parents to go visit my aunt for Thanksgiving, so I am planning to stay home and order pre-made food from the grocery store.

I am working on Christmas, so DH's parents will be visiting us. We tend to travel right before or right after major holidays, but stay home on the holiday itself.

jlaOK · October 2013

I don't feel that way but we are fortunate to live max 2 hours away from family. We are also blessed that our families celebrate the holidays on different days so that we don't have to do 2 Christmas' and 2 Thanksgiving's in a single day (that would stress me out). We are also very clear with our family about having our own traditions. We always go to Christmas Eve mass in our church and Santa comes to our house and we open presents in the morning. Both of our families have embraced our traditions and support us.

mrskelly731 · October 2013

My parents live 3 hours away and the IL's live 10 minutes away. This year we'll do Thanksgiving with my IL's and we'll celebrate Christmas with my parents the weekend before Christmas. I really push to be at home for Christmas. In my mind I want my kids to wake up at their own house with just us and open presents together. About mid morning or mid afternoon we'll go to IL's and do presents with them before coming back home for our own Christmas dinner. MIL will not like that but last year we had a big blow out and they ended up canceling Christmas dinner so we ended up having sandwiches. As we were eating DH and I liked the idea of just the 3 of us having Christmas dinner together, especially with all the hustle and bustle with family throughout the day.

shakinros · October 2013

We always stay home for Thanksgiving and have since we moved across the country (5yrs before baby). It's too expensive to fly anywhere at Thanksgiving.

Christmas we usually travel but we're staying home this year. We just flew cross country with our 14mo old to see DH's family and the travel totally sucked. I'm not putting her on that plane trip again less than 2mo later. My parents are in a different state but still a 6hr plane ride.

I'm super excited about staying home for Christmas. Id love to have a chance to build our own traditions while she's still so young. I used to love thanksgiving with just the two (now three) of us. But I'm starting to get tired of it; it's beginning to feel lonely. This spring we're moving back to the east coast and I'm looking forward to how easy it will be to see family if they're only a couple hours away!

plus12012 · October 2013

Absolutely. I refuse to travel for Christmas this year. If either side (or both) of our families have the desire to spend Christmas with us they have an open invitation but we will not be traveling. Thanksgiving plans are already set so we will be spending Thanksgiving with DH's family but I will not be talked into, threatened or coerced into Black Friday shopping. Wow! thanks for bringing this up it gave me a place to share my holidays rant. ;;)

FemShep · October 2013

We're traveling for Thanksgiving (ugh but it's a big deal to H's family), but this year everyone is coming to us for Christmas. If I got nothing else at all, that's enough of a gift for me!

Our family generally understands the hassle and expense involved in schlepping 2 kids (and we'd have to fly to either my family or H's), boarding a dog, getting a cat sitter, etc...., so they're pretty good about it even if they're a bit disappointed.

DTNZ4Ever · October 2013

All of my family is local so we end up having 5 different christmases and having to split thanksgiving between the two sides. It sucks because DH's family is always last minute planners and it takes them forever to pick a day. However this my immediate family is traveling to AZ for a family wedding and will be in AZ for Xmas and Disneyland for NYs. I am so excited since I was able to tell the ILs this is when we are available if you want to see us you can if not too bad. Then we will be with my immediate family for Xmas. It is so easy.

kristennd · October 2013

I married really late so I spent years watching friends and coworkers go through family holiday hell. So that was a firm condition before we got engaged. No going anywhere we don't both agree to go, regardless of guilt trips.

We're 1,500+ miles from both families. One handy excuse is that DH's job (local evening news) involves working some holidays -- everyone has to do either Thanksgiving or Christmas.

We flew last Christmas. On the IL's dime. We're staying home this year. I'm hoping for every other year. One problem with traveling is we have cats so we just plain can't have a tree if we're going to be gone for a week, and most of the cards arrived after we'd left too.

Before LO it was easier because DH's family prefers Thanksgiving and mine prefers Christmas. But with a kid (the only grandchild on both sides, no less), everyone wants Christmas.

ebp913 · October 2013

Hahaha yes! The last 3 or 4 years, we spent Thanksgiving by ourselves and we LOVED it. I had some friends who were like, oh we were so lonely without our families around, and I laughed because I loved our chill and awesome Thanksgiving. We both have big families and we love spending time with them but I have loved having our own traditions. My husband and I are more alike and our families tend to overcomplicate everything so it's nice to do whatever we want without having to take 20 other people into consideration. And yes, I am admittedly kinda of selfish in this regard.

SoMoNY · October 2013

We compromise, travel to SILs for thanksgiving and home for Xmas.

SIL hosts Thanksgiving and we host Xmas Eve dinner which ensures we are home the next morning.

I'd rather not travel for TG or Easter but will give them up if it means keeping Xmas.

sdlaura · October 2013

Yes. We live really far from our families (cross-country flight), and so when we had a baby we decided we were no longer traveling at the holidays. Family can either come to us, or we are happy to spend holidays alone. Last year and this year family decided to come to us for Thanksgiving, and then come visit after Christmas. Last Christmas Eve DH, DD, and I went out to dinner. We got up and had Christmas by ourselves in the morning, FaceTimed with family, and then went on a hike. It was great to have the break.

UnexpectedlyExpected · October 2013

Yes, I've felt like that. I started to think that I have this time off but I don't get to relax and enjoy it because we have to drive 5+ hours to get to family and then drive from house to house out there. I want my child to be able to wake up early and open presents underneath the Christmas tree she's seen for weeks in her own home. We've decided that we'll travel every other Thanksgiving but Christmas remains at home.

shannm · October 2013

Yes and I do. We do often invite my folks for thanksgiving and then travel to see them and IL's late December but Christmas is at our house. We don't want holidays to be anymore stressful. Also it is important for us to establish traditions with our kids here at home. Like Santa coming down our chimney.

financialdiva · October 2013

Thankfully for us, only both our immediate families are local, so we aren't running around to 5 different dinners.

I host thanksgiving and SIL and my family come to me. My family is a huge help with hosting, so while it is a lot, it's not overwhelming.

We did have to push for some "alone" family time around Christmas. SIL and niece come to us Christmas Eve for dinner and presents and bedtime. Thankfully she is low key and I love this tradition with her.

Then we open presents just us Christmas morning. Then dinner at my moms, which is only 45 mins away.

I think we have a pretty good balance.

chefgirl182003 · October 2013

Yes! We want the same quiet family time, so we have already told both sides we would see the the week after. We decided to tell them early so they could plan accordingly. And honestly it feels great! If its what you want, go for it!

Netty_3 · October 2013

My family is descending on us for Thanksgiving... so we're staying home for Christmas.

jess9802 · October 2013

Both sets of parents are local. I am so grateful we don't have to travel and still get to see everyone and yet have time to ourselves and make memories in our home.

court115 · October 2013

I don't mind traveling for Thanksgiving because it's a long weekend so I know we'll get at least one day at home. We normally drive the 2 hours to my parents' and we'll leave Wednesday night. Christmas is a whole other animal. H has a HUGE family and they all get together at my ILs on Christmas Day, which is nice but it's a long day. We spend Christmas Eve with my family, wake up early to go to my ILs to open presents and then his extended family comes over by noon. Now that we have LO, I want him to have Christmas morning in his own home. This year isn't such a big deal because he's so little but I can see this becoming a problem in the near future. Especially when we have more than one kid.

laurakaz13 · October 2013

Oh my god, YES! We are doing this for Thanksgiving, but DH wants to go home for Christmas.

EastCoastBride · October 2013

This is kind of an "it depends" thing. Traveling to one place then possibly having a nice, relaxing time there - that I would do. But if traveling means having a crazy, hectic few days rushing around and seeing a million people - eh, I might opt to stay home!

I live about 10 mins from my parents. It's become the tradition that on Christmas Eve, we pack up and go to their house. And we stay there until the day after Christmas. My parents house is just warm and cozy, and Christmas morning is relaxing. We chill out for most of the day - then some other fmaily comes over in the later afternoon.

I really, REALLY like this. DH is Jewish and we're technically raising DS Jewish - so we really don't "do" Christmas - the decorations, tree, etc. But we ALL really enjoy these 3 days w/ my parents.

While we only drive 10 minutes for this, I'd drive 8 hours. It's very much a nice, relaxing holiday even though it's not in our home.

But like I said - if doing this meant tons of people, having to go out and about, running from house to house - heck no. That just isn't want I want to do w/ my holiday.

kristennd · October 2013

We traveled to the ILs last year and there was nothing relaxing about it. Not only did we have a zillion people to visit (all of DH's family lives in the same general area) but I spent the whole time keeping LO away from shiny fragile decorations.

thedash · October 2013

Our problem is that DH's entire huge family lives nearby and my very small family is far away and spread out. So even though it would be nice to not travel, there's no way we could stay home and not go over to the IL's for any holiday. I fantasize about going on vacation and spending Christmas at the beach with just DH and our LO's but DH will never go for it.

pantsarella · October 2013

We live 3 hours away from both our parents and we split holidays throughout the year just for this reason. Thanksgiving we do with my family (b/c my dad is an awesome cook), Easter is with DH's family (because my dad makes ham and I don't eat ham, lol) and Christmas is spent at our house. I'm from a military family so it's totally normal in my family- it took DH's family a long time to come around to, though. They still give him crap about it at Thanksgiving and Christmas. DH also doesn't have a normal schedule so he works a lot of holidays and we just celebrate them when he's off.

APendola · October 2013

Yup! My family lives on the other side of Canada and DH's family in another country. We don't visit family for Christmas, we haven't in 6 years. The first time that I didn't visit family was great, because we could just appreciate the days off and relax.

We usually visit my family about once a year (1-2 week visit) and we go to Chile to see DH's family about every two years for a 3-4 week visit. That's what works for our budget and # of vacation days. Travelling at Christmas time is really expensive + you can run into a lot of delays flying in Canada that time of year + it's hard to find care for the dogs + it's not always easy to get the time off work. When DD is older, we might do the Chile trips at Christmas time because that's when she is off school and its summertime there in December. We'll stick to visiting my family during the Canadian summers

nosoup4u · October 2013

Most of my immediate family lives in the same area or a few hours away, so we see them often and DH and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year. DH's family is 8 hours away, driving. We were at his parent's house last Xmas and it sucked not being home. So our compromise is to spend Xmas day at ours, and we'll go see his family for a few days between Xmas and New Year's.

ByGrace22 · October 2013

Holidays are for families...and to me that means my family of five. we are 2000 miles from everyone, so trips to visir family are a little more complicated. This year we are vacationing over thanksgiving, and visiting the inlaws for new years. Well be home for Christmas and then go see my family sometime in February. We had some guilt trips about this, but frankly we get to choose how we spend our limited time off work, and we want to spend it with our kids and build those traditions and memories ourselves.

fancynewbeesly · October 2013

We travel. Thanksgiving is our only shared holiday---about both are families range from 10 minutes away to about an hour a way--so it isn't too hard to split it both.

However, this year my family is foregoing a Thanksgiving meal to have a Hanukkah brunch on Black Friday with extended family---so we will won't have to split Thanksgiving and my family is always invited to DH's family house-. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE DH's extended family. They are so completely welcoming and flexible.

On Christmas Eve--that is his family's big night--so we go to his aunt and uncles house-. They live 10 minutes away. Christmas Day was ALWAYS low key in his family, so usually we just slept in and then went to my MIL around 11 or 12 and had leftovers and relaxed there. They also live about 10 minutes away. This year since my BIL and SIL have a infant--her first Christmas, I suspect that they will want to do something on Christmas Day with her family--so we may end up going to their house instead. Again only about 15 minutes away.

I know that we are REALLY lucky though---and that it isn't hard for us to have down time AND see our families with minimal travel.

Snufflyfluffy · October 2013

Our families are local but my parents are weirdly possesive over Christmas so we try to give that mostly to my family. My family is small though (just may parents and grandparents) and my granparents go out of town for most of Nov and some of Dec so they don't really care about Thanksgiving. Last year we just did breakfast with my family and dinner with my IL. I think we are going to try and do the opposite for Christmas this year (breakfast with IL and dinner with my family) and hopefully it will be better then us trying to fit 2 dinners in one day.

groovygrl · October 2013

I like a mixture of both. Unfortunately that is not something that is a possibility for us. We have always traveled for Xmas though not often for Thanksgiving (though my interpretation of "traveling" for xmas is more like something far enough to require an overnight stay, not simply to go to a family member's house that lives under 2 hrs away...)

MH and I have very different values about spending time with family (he doesn't put much priority on it and I do) and it causes a lot of issues b/c our families are a 12 hr drive from us but within 2 hrs of each other- that means we can never just see one or the other for any holiday trips, either both or none. We really want to do xmas in our own house this year (first time ever & our kids are 4) but the issue is still getting to see/celebrate w/ family. I really can't imagine not seeing any of our family members for the entire holiday season, plus my mother would be heartbroken (though she is coming here for T-giving). I would like to go there the week after for maybe 4-5 days but coordinating his family and getting times to see them will be a nightmare and again, it is either 12 hrs both ways (in winter so chance of snow/ice) or $1200 in flights. Plus we see his family for a whopping 1/2 day when we go to visit at the holidays b/c of the conflicting schedules & priorities, so I can see why he doesn't place huge priority on it. We tend to see mine for several days b/c my family is much smaller and also is very much more into seeing us & spending time together. So, we haven't decided yet.

mittensonkittens · October 2013

We live 1200 miles from family, but both families are a 2 hr drive from each other. We stay home for Thanksgiving, but we fly up for Christmas. As painful as it is to fly across the country at Christmas with little kids, and then drive from my family's area to the IL's area, it doesn't feel like Christmas without family. And DH's work closes down for that week, so any other week he would have to use a lot more vacation time. Being away from home at Christmas is going to be our tradition. Santa brings us a couple small gifts wherever we are, and we get the rest when we get home.

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