DH has stage fright??

khump · October 2013

We talk about everything and he says how excited and ready he is to have a baby.. We have sex a couple of times a week and it's great. But the past three months, he has had performance 'issues' during my FW and can't finish.. We are both very frustrated.. He says that he is thinking about it too much during that time and can't relax. I tried not telling him this month, but he seems to know anyways. Any tips or tricks that we may not have thought of??

jszy10 · October 2013

Ugh....I hear ya girl. I don't have any tips or tricks, but I'd love to hear some as well.

DH says the same thing...he feels too much pressure. We BD'd Monday and Tuesday night because I had a +OPK, but it was a struggle. Then this morning he had to produce his specimen and it was really difficult for him.

I get really frustrated because here I am taking meds, getting probed and tested, etc. and all he has to do is BD! (which men don't typically argue with!!)

GL! TI is tough...

gsancho · October 2013

I don't really have any tips, but we go through it, too! Especially when we were just doing TI and OPKs and had to do it for several days in a row. I know some people can handle it but 6+ days in a row was too tiring for us! At least with IUIs now, the sexy time is more relaxing. The only thing I did was do my best to fake being all excited and horny in order to keep him going, even when I was a tired and bloated mess. Maybe watch some porn? Ok, now I'm probably eeking into TMI...

ErinSays · October 2013

My husband occasionally has issues. I try to stay calm, give him a little break, and then start doing all of the sex work. That works out well - he calms down and gets into it.

This month I was NOT feeling "doing all the sex work" after 22 frustrating days of injections. He did his own thing and used a syringe to do an informal insemination.

cuntasaurusrex · October 2013

Get drizzunk.

ronniesgirl1981 · October 2013

I wish I had an answer. The only thing I can say is that when it happens act like it's no big deal. I usually just say, "We can try again tomorrow/later." And then just carry on.

I have an app that tracks my cycles on the iPad we share. I think most of us are beyond this stage, but the app highlights the fertile and you can add in when you get a + OPK. So it's no the same as temping or anything, but it's still a useful tool. Anyhow, my husband would check the app and know. He seemed to be really turned off by seeing my pee sticks or having me tell him that I'm ovulating.

BettyBoop86 · October 2013

BettyBoop86 · October 2013

My DH has all the issues with stage fright. What helps my DH when the pressure is really on is lingerie and porn. When it comes down to crunch time I am all for whatever it takes even the porn.

sarahvvv · October 2013

My DH will always ask "when's Sex Week" and it's clearly a highlight for him. When we first saw the RE and he listened to this detailed questioning about my cycles and god know what else, I thought it would be too much pressure for him but he is just as excited about Sex Week as always! At one point we were doing a lot of BJs to cut back on the need for Preseed and he was VERY EXCITED about that.

So... maybe be as stingy with the BD as I am so he has to take what he can get? [heh heh]

DH has stage fright??

Re: DH has stage fright??

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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DH has stage fright??

Re: DH has stage fright??

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!