Negative response from friends/family?

KcashRN · October 2013

Anyone telling friends and family and get an unexpected response? I knew this friend would likely be weir about it like she was when I got married. Told a friend because she wanted to eat sushi. Told her why I'd rather go somewhere else. Then she went on to say how overbearing both sets of parents will be as that my sister in law will tach our future child to be a stripper! Wow. Then she went on to talk about how lovely her mom will be as a grandmother someday. Blown away.

jays_bride · October 2013

DH is not expecting a positive response from his mom...last Thanksgiving when we were discussing having one more, she went on and on about how we are too old, can't afford it, have no space...blah blah blah. We have a great income and live in a large home, so what if I'm in my late 30s!

Unknown · October 2013

This content has been removed.

Kinipela7 · October 2013

I have no idea how people in my family are going to react and I'm a little nervous. This would be the 4th grand baby for my parents (although my 1st baby) so it's probably not going to be all that exciting for them anymore. My sister just had her baby last month!

austinlyns · October 2013

Sorry your friend is being discouraging! I am expecting my mom to be drama about our baby. I had some blood clots with my last pregnancy but I was fine and this time I will be doing lovenox injections the whole time to prevent clots. My dr and DH and I feel fine about it, but she is super dramatic about health issues so I bet she will wig out and say that I am risking my life with another pregnancy. Drama.

chaysefaith · October 2013

I didn't expect a good response from my mom so I told her several months before we started TTC so she could warm up to the idea.

austinlyns · October 2013

Oh and also this is baby #4 for us so my family will think we are nuts. No one else has more than 2 and they couldn't believe it when we wanted a third. Not looking forward to hearing their reaction!

JulieSmiles · October 2013

I have no idea how people in my family are going to react and I'm a little nervous. This would be the 4th grand baby for my parents (although my 1st baby) so it's probably not going to be all that exciting for them anymore. My sister just had her baby last month!

This is my family too. This will be my parents 7th grandchild, my first child, and I don't think they will be excited. My mom was just talking a few weeks ago about how I need to get more treatment for my spine, even though I've been to a ton of doctors and feel much better now.

ricecakes1216 · October 2013

I'm not expecting a happy response from my Mil. Last time I saw her she told me she isnt ready to be a grandma. We had been TTC for over a year, had a mc and were starting our IF testing. She also doesn't like me so it will be fun telling..

ashtonblair123 · October 2013

My family has not been happy about any pregnancy. At all

peggels24 · October 2013

mrsdbc said:

When I was pregnant with DS my bio-mom (she was already against me getting married and I haven't talked to her in a year+ now, best decision I ever made) I emailed her and told her. She said I needed to call her and when I did she screamed at me and told me how I was ruining my life and how stupid I was and how she didn't want to talk to me for a while (I expected this response and was the whole reason I emailed her).
She refused to talk to me for the first trimester but my Dad and stepmom (who is more of a mom then mine ever was) were awesome.

I'm sorry that your bio-mom was such a douche. However, I find it ironic that she told you to CALL her to tell you that she didn't want to talk to you. Yay for your Dad and stepmom.

JNerd · October 2013

I've hardly spoken to my best friend since we told her I was pregnant again.

I have been married for 4 years and this is our second; she is single and living with her parents because she doesn't want to rent and doesn't want house bills all on her own because that would mean changing her lifestyle a bit.

Being in such different stages of life is hard - she is my best friend and I do miss her.

It is also hard not having anyone that I am close to that I can talk about things like this with. Maybe that's why I love the group.

CreEspree · October 2013

My mom wasn't too thrilled being that my first 2 were micro preemies. But she's excited about having another grandbaby and just hopes to have a healthy grand.
My MIL on the other hand is pissed.. It's my third and DH's first. She hated that we dated.. Hated even more that we got married.. And despises that I'll be having her son's child. She's a bitch.. Hate her.

SandyD83 · October 2013

My dad told me he thought I shouldn't have anymore kids, so of course I was afraid to tell him and I made my mom do it. (She was thrilled out of her mind even though it is her 3rd grandchild- I think it could be my mom's 15th grandchild and she would still freak out with happiness.)
Anyway, my dad was actually really nice and happy about it. I said I was scared to tell him and he said that even though he hadn't thought it was the best idea, how could he not be happy now that a baby was on the way.

My husband also said he didn't want anymore kids so I was nervous to tell him too. When I broke the news that we are expecting he also got super excited and asked me to never tell that he had not wanted anymore kids because he'd feel horrible for the kid to ever hear that.

So, you might get an unexpected response.

mamileon · October 2013

We both come from very large families and have been dating since 2005, so if I ever don't drink wine and a family party, or say I don't feel good the first question is "Are you pregnant?" We started ttc in April after we took our last vacay baby free, and we plan on telling everyone in about a month. We were aiming for 12 weeks, but I've had some crazy symptoms and I doubt we'll be able to hold the secret that long.

The only person my husband is afraid of telling is his best friend. He's older, unmarried and he wasn't exactly excited when we got married, after just ending a relationship, so I can only imagine his response when he tells him we are expecting.

peggels24 · October 2013

mrsdbc said:

peggels24 said:

mrsdbc said:

When I was pregnant with DS my bio-mom (she was already against me getting married and I haven't talked to her in a year+ now, best decision I ever made) I emailed her and told her. She said I needed to call her and when I did she screamed at me and told me how I was ruining my life and how stupid I was and how she didn't want to talk to me for a while (I expected this response and was the whole reason I emailed her).
She refused to talk to me for the first trimester but my Dad and stepmom (who is more of a mom then mine ever was) were awesome.

I'm sorry that your bio-mom was such a douche. However, I find it ironic that she told you to CALL her to tell you that she didn't want to talk to you. Yay for your Dad and stepmom.

I know right???? She had been a mega-B since DH and I dated, refused to talk to me about a wedding and after we got married she unboxed my stuff (she was in CO, I was in AK for school and we got married in GA) since our flight got canceled for weather and told me either my dad had to come and get it or it was going to the dump. She was always bashing DH and telling me at every chance I needed to move back home and leave him. She was a manipulative shrew and I found out she hasn't even told her life-partner of ten years she cut me off a year ago. I got a letter from his mom asking why I hadn't sent her baby pics (I did through my mom). She is cray cray and emotionally abusive. TG I don't talk to her anymore.

Argh - TG is right! No one needs that negativity in their life.

christinemurray91 · October 2013

Well, my family is a little strange... Last time, my dad and step mom were through the roof excited, my dad actually danced through the room, and my step mom slapped DH in shock, lol

My mom, ruined it by saying she "knew it" and just left it at that...

DHs parents were... shocked... and not in a good way. MIL has never liked me, threw a huge fit at our wedding... they acted like they were fine, but she actually said during my last pregnancy how unfortunate is was I was having a girl, etc... We had a huge falling out, she played the victim, I'm the bad guy to this day. That being said, we've got some unspoken boundaries now that have made things more pleasant. We still don't like each other, but we can get along, so I'm happy with that.

I'm tellin my mom and MIL/FIL on Halloween, and I'm predicting that my mom will be excited, but try to make it seem like she's known all along (when she absolutely has no clue) and that my MIL and FIL will be really happy. They love our LO now, so I think they're going to be really excited about another LO, even if I am the one generating them, lol.

liberty95 · October 2013

SIL was a jerk about it. Her response was, "well, were you trying?"
Um, does it matter?
Yes, as a matter of fact we were trying for number 2, but that question is not appropriate!

jenb_99 · October 2013

I haven't had any nasty responses, but when I was pregnant with DS a shocking number of people gave me fake pity looks and asked me if my pregnancy was an accident. Maybe because I was 29 and DH and I had already been married 6 years before we started TTC? That was a real head scratcher.

curlylocks3 · October 2013

I'm anticipating a lot of (nosy) questions from the ILs and I think only BIL and his wife will be truly thrilled but I'm not expecting anything truly negative. Who knows though, they've surprised me in the past with their degree of negativity so anything is possible.

2ndturkey · October 2013

With my son my hubby's family was excited but a little apprehensive as hubby and I had only been together 10 months. My family told me out right they were not happy and quite disappointed. My dad was a little happy. I don't talk to my mother. This pregnancy my hubby's family is so happy even though it's their eighth grandchild. I told my dad and he's not happy at all he and my hubby don't get along to put it nicely my dad is an a-hole. I still have to tell my grandma

BMonroe812 · October 2013

Hey everyone.. My husband and I just found out we are expecting our first child.. Haven't told a lot of our family yet since I'm so early on. Any advice on how to tell a close cousin that just lost the opportunity to adopt a child of her own? This just happened to her last month and I don't know how to even break our great news to her. Any advice would be fantastic--I'm stumped!

Cellingtonosu · October 2013

I think my mil is going to react awful, she did with our marriage we had been engaged for a year and a half and the month before the wedding she was telling us we weren't ready?! (We have lived together for 3 years) she always feels like she has to fix everything, though we never ask or accept her help with anything. So my boo will be telling her by himself

lauren063092 · October 2013

This is grandbaby #10 on DHs side but only #2 on mine. I expect both sides to be super excited. MIL does a good job of making everyone feel special. My sister was in disbelief but happy bc our daughter is only 1 yr and she didnt expect another one so soon. I have a feeling my best friend will be upset. I got married before her, had a baby before her and she is 5 years older. She plans on us getting pregnant at the same time but I know that's not going to happen. I can't put my life on hold for her!

ColeyJ88 · October 2013

JNerd said:

I've hardly spoken to my best friend since we told her I was pregnant again.
I have been married for 4 years and this is our second; she is single and living with her parents because she doesn't want to rent and doesn't want house bills all on her own because that would mean changing her lifestyle a bit.
Being in such different stages of life is hard - she is my best friend and I do miss her.
It is also hard not having anyone that I am close to that I can talk about things like this with. Maybe that's why I love the group.

I'm in the same boat! My best friend freaked out at me 2 weeks ago when I told her. She said she needed to take a break from hanging out (with everyone, including me) because we're all married, or getting married, and some of us are having babies. I feel bad that she's still single, but if she's not gonna try to get a better job, move out of her parents basement, and meet someone, it's nobody's fault but her own. She's only 26 so way too young to freak out about not meeting someone yet.

hjl050308 · October 2013

My mom wasn't happy when I told her. She was upset because of my loss a few months ago (was I sure it wasn't lie last time is what she said). Also, my experience having DS2 was beyond horrific so she said she was scared I'd go through the same thing I did with him, even though I've assured her it was a fluke. She even told me not to tell anyone in my family "just yet." She's come around a little but just found out her sister has cancer so she's worried about her, which I totally get. My sisters were kind of whatever about it. My dad was awesome. We won't tell the ILs, they didn't find out about DS2 until after he was born. Long story there....

fsumom · October 2013

liberty95 said:
SIL was a jerk about it. Her response was, "well, were you trying?"
Um, does it matter?
Yes, as a matter of fact we were trying for number 2, but that question is not appropriate!

My sister asked the same damn thing. Well, she asked if it was planned....same difference!

LegalLadyBug · October 2013

We were lucky to have great responses from all our family. One of my friends is not so happy with me though. I think it's a case of different paths though. We went to law school together, I had DD my last year and had to delay the bar exam. She passed first try and has been career focused while I have now passed but am having a hard time finding a job. :-/

SandyD83 · October 2013

@bmonroe812
There have been some people that are going through similar situations. If you go out to the main June 2014 forum area and use the magnifying glass search option you could find a lot of advice about situations like yours (telling friends and family that have suffered a loss) some from as recent as the past couple weeks. You could also start a new original thread if you really wanted to. Good luck with your pregnancy and welcome to the board.

(Edited for clarification.)

MessyMommy · October 2013

This is my parents 7th grandchild in 3 years lol they will be thrilled.

Pahialii · October 2013

I don't know when I'll tell my parents because I don't think they'll be happy. I felt the waters out by mentioned I was thinking of TTC and my dad told me I should focus on my career and my mom's comment was something like, "oh god why?" You'd think I was 15, unemployed and living at home instead of being in my 30s, married for 7+ years.and living 5,000+ miles away from them for the last 14 years. I'm excited to tell my ILs though!

mamileon · October 2013

When I told one of my brothers he was like our wedding, which I am in, is a week before my due date. I asked if this meant I was out, and his reply? "No you'll just be huge." I haven't talked to his fiance yet to see if she will say anything different but she's a neonatal nurse so I hope I wont "ruin" her photos dressed in pepto bismol pink satin.

mommyof2boys922 · October 2013

This will be my 3rd and Dh's 1st (my parents 3rd grandbaby) I think they will all be happy! I am worried about a few friends but if they aren't happy and supportive then I guess they aren't the friends i thought they were!
We are telling our parents tomorrow at dinner.

newfmom7 · October 2013

It's sad to hear all of the negative reactions. The few friends and family members I've told have been over the moon - EXCEPT my step-mom. She's always been jealous of me and we've never been that close. Her immediate reaction was to tell me that it was inappropriate to tell anyone this soon because I will "probably" have a MC and I'll have to tell everyone. Thankfully I'm pregnant and highly reactive and I was able to quickly put her back in her place instead of taking it to heart. People shouldn't be so harsh, especially when they've gone through it themselves.

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