November 2012 Moms

Friends w/o children - vent

I love my friends, but sometimes it's so hard to be friends with people w/o kids... Like people will invite us to come over for dinner and hanging out at 8 PM and say bring the baby... Ahm, no, that won't work - they don't get why. Then sometimes I go anyway w/o DH and LO so I can see them, but then they will not show any interest in LO. Like, I don't wanna talk about the baby all the time, but it would be nice if they ask about her! 

The other day we invited this couple to come over to our house at 5 PM... they text us at 5:20 or so to say that they're still at lunch an hour away, can they come over later? No you can't, and thanks, now we have spent the afternoon at home waiting for you and we can't go anywhere because there's not enough time before bedtime...

I have almost no friends who are parents, and it's so hard sometimes... I'm so glad there's this board because sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to. Sorry for the vent. 

Re: Friends w/o children - vent

  • I totally get it.  I'm kinda weird about being home for bedtime.  Otherwise it totally screws up DD.  I feel like a loser sometimes for always needing to be home by 7:30, but that's our priority right now.  We have family day at my brother's college ALL DAY this Saturday (2 hours away) and then we have a birthday party that starts at 6pm.  I'm brining DD by myself, but my family doesn't really understand why I don't think we'll be able to make it to the birthday party.  
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  • I only have one close friend that has a baby (or any children at all) so I totally get where you are coming from. It frustrates me sometimes about how clueless people are about having to be on the baby's schedule, but I just try to remember how drastically life changes after a baby. You just have to accept the fact that they don't understand because their life doesn't revolve around a baby. I tell my H all the time that I can't wait for some of our friends to have a baby so they know what it's like. Mainly because some of his friends give us a hard time about not being at every event anymore. 

    We try to invite people over to our house for dinner or to hang out because that way we can put O to bed and then hang out with them in our basement. If you don't have a good set up to keep the noise away from the baby, I could see how that could be difficult though. 
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  • billybumblerbillybumbler member
    edited October 2013
    @kiraliz2 and @redwood807 I should have clarified that the couple in the example wanted to come over to see LO. We have people over for dinner and hanging out after LO goes to bed but I find it stressful when people want to see HER close to bedtime because she's tired and people want to play with her and keep her up late, then it's meltdown time... Then I'm trying to put a screaming LO to sleep and be a host at the same time, doesn't work for me.

    ETA: I like the taking the pack and play idea, but I'm kind of scared because LO doesn't do so well sleeping away from home... I might have to suck it up and try it more often though.
  • AmberEA14 said:
    I only have one close friend that has a baby (or any children at all) so I totally get where you are coming from. It frustrates me sometimes about how clueless people are about having to be on the baby's schedule, but I just try to remember how drastically life changes after a baby. You just have to accept the fact that they don't understand because their life doesn't revolve around a baby. I tell my H all the time that I can't wait for some of our friends to have a baby so they know what it's like. Mainly because some of his friends give us a hard time about not being at every event anymore. 

    We try to invite people over to our house for dinner or to hang out because that way we can put O to bed and then hang out with them in our basement. If you don't have a good set up to keep the noise away from the baby, I could see how that could be difficult though. 

    Yes, this is so true... I have to keep that in mind and be more patient with my friends. It's not their fault, they just really don't understand.
  • I didn't understand until I had M. I certainly don't make things inconvenient for us when I don't want to. Not for nothing but that was kind of a flaky move IMO.
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