I'm (most probably) back. Also, Help with Doctor Questions?

divinemsbee · October 2013

So, I'm most probably back. Started spotting red at 5w2d (exactly the time I started spotting back in June) yesterday, got in to see the doctor and they ran my first set of betas and did a transvaginal ultrasound. Didn't see anything on the ultrasounds except what was probably the corpus luteum (that's where the egg dropped from, right?). My betas are really really low. Last m/c they started at 62 and were dropping by half. This time they're hovering around 50, which considering I turned a digi test last Wednesday, does not look good. I'm still spotting, it hasn't increased to flow yet, but it'll probably do so later this week. So, my follow up betas and appointment are tomorrow afternoon and I'm pretty sure of what I'm going to hear.

That makes two early m/c (technically C/Ps, since we never saw a heartbeat) in just over 4 months. I know that there are questions I want to ask my doctor, and I thought I might ask a few here to see if they are totally ridiculous. I'd also like to know what questions I should ask. I'm pretty sure my insurance doesn't start RPL testing until after 3 pregnancies in a row end in m/c. So. Are we dealing with the same odds of m/c every time, or does it go up or down with the number you experience? Is there something we should be doing differently? I've never had any diagnosed reproductive problems or symptoms of any. My periods aren't extremely painful, my cycles regulate quickly, I'm ovulating, we get pregnant within normal time frames, my cycles are regular and not extremely long. I am overweight (but losing), but I still have good cholesterol levels and my blood pressure is good and my blood sugar is normal.

H has been worried about his sperm for a while now. He had West Nile virus in his late teens and it wasn't caught early, so a pretty bad case. Even though we've gotten pregnant, could the losses have anything to do with sperm quality, should we look into testing? We have been trying for a year in two weeks with two losses.

I know no one here is my doctor, but with the way my OB/GYN clinic works, you guys probably know more about me than my doctor. And a lot of ladies on here are, unfortunately, very knowledgeable about these situations. I don't want to go through unnecessary testing, but I don't want to keep rolling the dice and crapping out if there's anything we can do to prevent it.

Thanks so much, sorry for the wall-o-text. I'll update tomorrow with the official word.

BankerBSN · October 2013

I am very sorry for your losses. Usually loss testing is initiated after 3 losses.

ETA: I am not sure of the effects of the West Nile Virus on sperm quality. That might be a question for your MD.

beckynsean11 · October 2013

What Banker said. I'm so sorry.

EmilyA724 · October 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have had two CPs too so I do not have much to offer in terms of testing. I have my annual in November so I plan on bringing it up just to see what the doctors say. I'm sure it won't have an impact, but for my own peace of mind I stopped drinking during the TWW.

jaytee16 · October 2013

I'm so sorry

Milagros315 · October 2013

I don't have any advice,but I am so sorry for your losses.

Valancyy · October 2013

I'm so sorry to hear this.

sister13 · October 2013

I am so sorry to hear this! Do you have any history of blood clots in your immediate family? Just a possible consideration for testing as there are some genetic blood clotting factors that can cause m/c and it would be worth looking into sooner if you have a history among family members.

So sorry again for your losses and I wish you the best.

littleboyermoose · October 2013

So sorry to hear this.

divinemsbee · October 2013

Thank you all so much for your kind words.

@Elbug - I know you're right, but it's so hard to not want to assign cause (not blame, but cause) right now. Because if there's a cause then there's something I or we can do to prevent it and my anger at the universe can be used to fuel that prevention. Instead of my anger fueling my sadness which makes me just want to binge eat Reese's pumpkins. And go over every little thing I did during the 2ww and the short pregnancy in my head and wonder 'if.' I could accept one, I was heartbroken, but I could accept it. Two starts to look like a pattern and makes me terrified.

@sister13 - Whose siggy always brightens my day. No clotting issues that I know of. My mom had an ectopic pregnancy before me and then had me and my brother and then an early m/c before my sister. I don't know that that has anything to do with me.

yurmom · October 2013

Sorry for your loss ::hugs::

rlyttle · October 2013

I'm so sorry about your losses. I've also had 2 early MCs this year. It's exhausting and I felt much worse after the 2nd one than the 1st. Give your body time to heal and ask your doctor any question you have. Unfortunately there isn't an easy answer to what happened. Try not to wrack your brain about what happened. It will only stress you out. There are several people who have had 2 MCs and went on to have healthy pregnancies and children, so there may be nothing wrong. My doctor told me that if/when we TTC again to contact them right away and they can test progesterone. They also gave me the option to test for the blood clotting disorder. My doctor said these two things are common causes of multiple MCs and can be easily tested without going into serious testing. I know it's hard and try to stay positive. GL!!

PM me if you ever want to talk or vent. Sometimes its hard for me to be honest with everyone around me about how I'm actually feeling. It's so easy to just say that you are doing good, when you are actually having a bad day. It's good to talk about what you are feeling. You are allowed to have bad days. Xoxo

Lola825 · October 2013

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't feel like much, but you were at the very least able to conceive. So as hard as it has been to experience the loss, take some comfort in knowing that you are able to conceive a baby together. It won't fix the heartache your experiencing, but its hope for the future.

Lottie&Paul · October 2013

I'm sorry for your loss.

divinemsbee · October 2013

Lola825 said:

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't feel like much, but you were at the very least able to conceive. So as hard as it has been to experience the loss, take some comfort in knowing that you are able to conceive a baby together. It won't fix the heartache your experiencing, but its hope for the future.

I sat with this for a minute, because I do feel like your heart is in the right place and I get where you're coming from. But, this sentiment is maybe not the best thing to say in this situation. I don't know where you are in your TTC journey or what you've been through, but maybe think about these things before you say them.

After my first loss, knowing that at least we could get pregnant was, to some degree, comforting. After my second, it doesn't really matter. I don't just want a positive pee stick, I want a pregnancy and a healthy baby. It's not the Misery Olympics, but it sucks. I want to tell my mom I'm pregnant and have it not be when I'm miscarrying.

Right now, if/when I get pregnant again, I will be living totally terrified for at least 3 weeks after I find out, and probably further along. This has permanently dampened my squee ability. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't tell anyone I'm pregnant because I'm just un-telling a week later. So, yes, we can get pregnant, but, no, it's not comforting right now.

themrsJRD · October 2013

Very sorry for your loss. Well said above to the poster who was insensitive, though I'm sure they didn't mean to be. FX that next time you get your take home baby.

beckynsean11 · October 2013

@Lola825, I think your head & heart are in the right place, but please know that what you posted is not at all comforting to most women that have & are going through losses. It's actually quite hurtful. Logically, you'd think it would be conforting, but it's just not. I don't really feel like getting into why because @divinemsbee has already addressed it herself & I'd really like this thread to remain as much about answering her questions as possible.

So many squishie hugs Bee!

Lola825 · October 2013

I do apologize for it coming off as insensitive or hurtful as that certainly was not my intention. As someone who has been trying for 15 cycles, with not one positive, I didn't mean for it to be taken the way it was at all.

I can't even begin imagine what a loss feel like and my heart goes to all of you who have experienced it, however, I also can't relate to the feeling of turning a test positive or even knowing that you can. That was all I was trying to convey. My deepest sympathies for your loss and please know that no ill intentions were meant.

vrj0522 · October 2013

I am so very sorry for your losses.

jenandtim828 · October 2013

I'm sorry for your loss

ksuRN09 · October 2013

I have no advice but I'm so sorry for your losses

coopsbaby · October 2013

I'm so sorry.

amberhoothoot · October 2013

I'm sorry you are going through this. (Hugs)

xnbride · October 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is unfortunate that most doctors/insurance won't do repeat loss panel until the 3rd loss. It sounds like you have ruled a few things out already based on your recent physical. Ultimately, even after lots of testing sometimes there aren't answers either. I am hoping that these two losses were simply a tragic fluke and your next pregnancy will be successful.
Most doctors will prescribe progesterone for after ovulation to help support the process of implantation and help to sustain a pregnancy. There is not sufficient evidence that it works, but lots and lots of success stories that are hard to prove or disprove (kind of like the chicken vs egg concept). Did the progesterone help the pregnancy or would the pregnancy have been successful without the supplement? Hard to say.
If I was you, I would get to the healthiest me that I could. Take your vitamins regularly. Eat well and exercise moderately. Ask your doctor to write a prescription for progesterone so you can start taking it asap if you get a bfp and don't have to wait around for testing etc.

As far as your husbands previous health issues I would say it is probably not the cause for miscarriages but I am not a doctor. Some illnesses can cause sterility but you have managed to get pregnant with relative ease so it is probably not that. Definitely run it by your doc though.

My instinct is to think that it is either a hormonal issue or just bad luck. Have you had your thyroid checked? Do you have any symptoms of polycystic ovarian syndrome? progesterone deficiency? Do you have a history or a family history of blood clotting? Are you RH-? Are you charting? Does your chart suggest an underlying condition (such as midcycle spotting/higher then average temperatures/lower than average temperatures/low post o temps etc/short luteal phase)?

I really hope that you get the answers you are seeking. I know how hard it is to not have any answers after losses. Big hugs.

divinemsbee · October 2013

@xnbride Lucky I decided to pull up TB while I'm waiting around to go to my appt, those are some good questions. I'll ask about the progesterone today. As far as PCOS goes, even though I'm heavier, I have no symptoms and while I haven't always been heavy, I'm pretty sure this weight gain was not hormonal and more of a no time to exercise/dealing with some disordered eating gain. I had my thyroid checked as a teenager, but that's been almost 15 years ago, but there was no issue then. There is a family history of some thyroid disorders, but no clotting disorders that I'm aware of. I'm RH+. I don't chart, but my cycles are regular and I do use advanced OPKs that seem to always line up with my ovulation window and a 12-14 day LP.

I'm hoping for a fluke or something that is fixable. How are progesterone supplements administered (just curious)? Besides the m/c's themselves, part of why I'm just so freaked out/puzzled is that I've never really had any issues like some of the ones I read about on here, like having to go on hormonal birth control to regulate periods or having to take Provera for a 60+ day cycle. It just all seems so random and therefore so hard to control.

xnbride · October 2013

divinemsbee Ideally progesterone is taken as a vaginal suppository. Some people take it orally but it is not as effective that way and will increase your symptoms/side effects.
I take 200mg vaginally once per day (at night). Most women take 100mg twice per day or 200mg twice per day. It just depends on the prescription.

How did your appt go?

gooliahank · October 2013

So sorry for your loss.

divinemsbee · October 2013

@xnbride It went well. They forgot to put the order for my betas in at first so I went to the lab and then had to go to the OB clinic to talk to the triage nurse and then back to the lab.

The resident was so nice and actually he and his wife had been through the same thing so he was knowledgeable and sympathetic. It's a diagnosed CP, and we aren't benched, so we can try or not this month. The idea is still that this shouldn't affect my ability to get pregnant or carry to term, it was probably another of those 30-40% chance miscarriages that are caused by some sort of chromosomal abnormality that the body just doesn't accept in the fertilized egg. Since as of right now I have no history of reproductive issues they were pretty hopeful. I have an appointment with my GYN the day before Thanksgiving where I can ask her if there's anything more we can do and she will probably test my thyroid and progesterone.

I'm just going to hit my workouts extra hard and really try to eat healthy and get myself in order this month. Plus, if I'm really good now it gives me some cushion for the Thanksgiving feast

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