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Needing some support

GrantHensonGrantHenson member
in Working Moms

I just returned to work from mat leave, this is my third week back.  I work a very intense job as a nurse in an out patient clinic.  I  began dreading the idea of going back to work over a month before I went back, and I am now feeling really guilty that I work full time, in addition to this my work description may be changing which would involve me working full time and also bringing work home.  This has added to my stress, I am now having ahard time figuring out what is what.  Do I not want to work, not want to work at my current job or just not want to work as many hours.  Its making the transisiton very difficult.  I find my self having a hard time sleeping, dreading to go to work in the am, wanting to avoid managment and looking for new jobs.  I miss my baby all day.

  Anyone else struggle when they went back or with similar situation?  How long do I try to treat it just as a transition problem

 

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Re: Needing some support

  • shakinrosshakinros member
    Good advice so far. I was a wreck the first month back, then got really settled in after about two months on the job. I've been back almost exactly a year now. I still miss my baby every day. Some days I sit in the parking lot at daycare for an extra 5-10 minutes because I don't want to go on to work.

    Overall though, this is the right choice for us. I'm grateful for the care she's getting during the day and for the opportunity to work. I function better as a mom this way.

    Hang in there. It'll get easier.
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  • jd614jd614 member
    Ugh I know this feeling ! I am gone 65 hrs a week and get anywhere from 45 min to 1.5 hrs a day with DS and it kills
    Me . Agree that it gets easier with time but for me still not easy . Like PP said make a list of everything you like and don't like about your situation and see what outweighs. I'm having a similar debate right now . Do I want to stay a few more years and sick away all I can ,leave for something with less hrs and less money or just stay home . Good luck to you . Give yourself a little more time before jumping to a decision either way . As a nurse I feel like you are lucky because there are so many different jobs with different hrs you am take .
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  • jf198400jf198400 member
    I hated my job when I returned from ML. Things had changed while I was gone and I was no longer working with the same group of people. I ended up changing jobs when DS was 8 months old and am so much happier.

    I think You need to look at why are you so unhappy. If it is the specific job or the number of hours then start looking around for something that's a better fit. As a nurse you should have more opportunities to find PT work than a lot of other careers.

    If you truly want to stay home, that's fine too, personally I would love to SAH. But look at what's best for your family financially. I've been a WM for 3yrs and I can tell you it does get easier. My kids love daycare and learn so much there. I would feel bad pulling them out now. I also get plenty of time with them now that they are older and have later bedtimes. So if you do continue working, it will definitely get better with time, but that might mean a year not a week or a month.

    Good luck!
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  • financialdivafinancialdiva member

    I 100% agree with @Clarypax

    I HATED working when I went back with DS1. I was miserable. I wanted nothing more than to SAH. I tried everything to figure out away, but alas, stuck it out and here I am, 3.5 years later, still a WM. But I'm pretty happy and content.

    It took me almost a year to find my grove. It took me 6 or 7 months to stop wasting energy on feeling so miserable. It was also much easier to return back to work after DS2. Like PP, I would love to work PT, but can't find a position that would cover childcare. If my work would let me work 80%, we could totally swing it, but I'm afraid to ask because our department is really really lean right now.

    Anyway, give it time. You'll find your grove soon enough. I bring home work often. It took me time to find balance. You'll get there. I promise.

    Hugs!

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  • Leap08Leap08 member
    When I went back to work after having DD1, I was pretty miserable for the first few months. I kept trying to think of ways that I could stay home or move to part time, but after awhile I stopped thinking about it. I learned how to value the time we have together and how to create good quality time together. When I went back to work after DD2, I was fine. I love my girls, but I think I would go crazy staying home with them everyday. I'm so glad that I didn't give up my job during those first few months. That said, it sounds like you're pretty unhappy with your current position. What can you do to change that? Can you work out a different work load with them or a part-time schedule? If not, can you stick it out until you find a new position?
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