not sure how to proceed.... fertility clinic f-ed up.

singingirl96 · October 2013

Hello all. I'm new here, but not new to any of this.

Very long story short. TTC for 8 years, husband has azoo and 100% sterile. Did IVF with donor sperm which resulted in my son. We had 3 very high quality embryos frozen. I'm currently in the process of doing an FET for baby #2.

Going through IVF and using DS was a very difficult decision for us. It is completely against our religious beliefs, but we proceeded anyway. We believe that life begins at conception therefore each one of our frozen embryos is considered as one of our children. We had/have every intention to give each of the frozen ones a chance to live, either by implanting them in my womb or donating them to another family.

Recently our fertility clinic contacted us about an error that occurred while labeling one of our embryos. It has our name on it, but someone else's medical record number listed. Although they say they are 99.9% sure that is my embryo, they cannot release it to me. They first suggested discarding it or donating it for science. This is not ok with me.

I then asked if the embryo can be tested for DNA. They said yes, but they would have to thaw it, dissect it, test it, refreeze it, then thaw again for transfer. That is not something that sounds good to me. I can't imagine that the quality would be the same and I don't feel this is acceptable.

I have expressed how unhappy I am with the situation. This is one of the largest and highest 'quality' fertility clinic in the country, yet they have really let me down.

They have offered to refund all cryopreservation costs and have offered to transfer my two other embryos for free (doesn't help me any since my insurance covers it at 100%)... so essentially, they're trying to bribe me not to sue or let this go public.

Not sure how to proceed. I have attorneys in my family, but money is not what I'm after. I really just want the rights to my embryo.

What would you do faced with this situation?

stinkerbell6879 · October 2013

strudel82 said:

Dang. 99.9% wouldn't be enough for me. Any bit of doubt wouldn't be OK. Not because I'd be worrying about genetics and all that (though understandable if that's an issue for you), but more that there could be a family out there who this embryo could belong to.

But also, what if you did "assume" it's yours, transfer it, and really it's not? The implications of that are overwhelming.

I really don't know what I'd do in this situation... I guess I'd seriously consider the DNA testing?

Hope you find the right path and answers!

This! Hope things get sorted out ASAP! ((HUGS))

Mrs.McIrish · October 2013

I would talk to an attorney who specializes in ART law. I'm a lawyer and that's what I'd do. I have no idea what options exist and the lawyers in your family probably don't either. This is a relatively new area of the law that is ever changing so your average lawyer is not going to have training in this. Sadly, I think the DNA testing is the only way to know for sure but I agree that might kill the embryo. Money may be the only "thing"left along with extra safeguards imposed on the clinic so this doesn't happen to anyone else. I know that's not what you want but it may be the only thing left. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

brooklynesque · October 2013

I'm sorry you are in this very difficult situation. Before you reject the DNA testing scenario, you might want to do some research on refreezing success rates and ask your clinic about theirs. I saw a thread on genetic testing and refreezing of 5 day embies not long ago on another site and was surprised at how many people had had success with refrozen embies. Cryopreservation has gotten so good in the last few years that refreezing might not be a big deal. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

ArgyleBride · October 2013

Wow. That is jaw-dropping. I'm so sorry. I don't know how a lawyer would help, though--I mean, they could presumably get your money, but what else? They can't fix the problem. Maybe scare the clinic straight into giving more options, but what would those even be?

Could you prepare for a transfer, thaw the embryo and DNA test, and then if it it yours go ahead with the transfer?

xmaystarx · October 2013

Wow, I'm shocked and very sorry you have to be faced with this. I have no idea how I would respond. I agree with others that a specialty lawyer would be a first step. I'll be thinking of you, keep us updated.

BeckyP005 · October 2013

I am so sorry you are in this situation. This is all so crazy. No advice really but will be thinking of you and good luck finding some answers. {{hugs}}

melkel559 · October 2013

Mrs.McIrish said:

I would talk to an attorney who specializes in ART law. I'm a lawyer and that's what I'd do. I have no idea what options exist and the lawyers in your family probably don't either. This is a relatively new area of the law that is ever changing so your average lawyer is not going to have training in this. Sadly, I think the DNA testing is the only way to know for sure but I agree that might kill the embryo. Money may be the only "thing"left along with extra safeguards imposed on the clinic so this doesn't happen to anyone else. I know that's not what you want but it may be the only thing left. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

I totally agree with this. I really have no other advice but just want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this horrifying, heartbreaking situation. HUGE HUGS.

MrsT4 · October 2013

I also wanted to offer (((hugs))) to you!! Things like this shouldn't happen today and clinics need to realize they are dealing with human lives here....ugh!

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