Nap and Bedtime Stalling

melissa0726 · October 2013

This is making me nuts. DD1 has gotten to the point where she is trying to ask for anything and everything to delay bedtime. Dora? Bubble Guppies? When it becomes clear we're not putting on a show, she moves on to food. Snack? Milk? Banana? Then she tries to drag us down to the play room. Then she asks me to put on music for a dance party. Now she's just rolling around and whining in the foyer.

Normally I just carry her up to her room and start the bedtime routine, but every time I go to pick her up, she starts screaming. And since DD2 is actually asleep right now (which is rare), I'm not carrying screaming DD1 past her room.

This isn't just today, though, this is a lot of nights, too. I'm not sure what to do. I give her fair warning well in advance of bedtime, I tell her one more whatever (show, snack, turn on the slide) and then we're going up. It doesn't matter. And when we get up there, she wants to read a story, brush her teeth, blah blah blah.

And now...the baby is awake...so I guess it doesn't matter if I take her up now. No mommy downtime this afternoon!

Any suggestions? Do I just start the routine earlier? I feel like we could spend all day "getting ready" for nap or bed lol.

melissa0726 · October 2013

THANK YOU. I will definitely watch this tonight.

I think you're spot on about the attention. She gets excited after DD2 is in bed, and really just wants to extend her solo time with DH and I, which I totally get. I also think I have been lax about the bedtime routine, and some more consistency on my part, plus involving her in bedtime choices, would go a long way. Thanks for the tips!

JaysonandKristin · October 2013

We use the choices and we also set a timer on stuff. He gets a prompt, "when the timer goes off we are giving kisses and going to bed." We loaded the timer thing for about a week beforehand. So, when the timer goes off it's time to do x. That way he knew the timer meant something about starting, stopping or tansitioning into another activity. It's not fool-proof but we've seen some improvement. He is a class act staller.
It's always something he knows we can't deny him. Water or potty. Srsly?!?!??

melissa0726 · October 2013

CrashIntoMe1 I recently started involving DD with dinner prep. She LOVES it. She has a little stool that is about a foot high, which lets her work at the counter, but isn't tall enough for her to try to climb up. I set her up with simple tasks like putting cheese on salads, or putting salad dressing on the table, which keeps her busy and away from the stove or oven.

It's remarkable how much less whining is going on when she is involved. She's not begging me for snacks, and I'm not losing my temper every five seconds because I'm rushing to get dinner done.

JaysonandKristin I love the timer idea! Def going to give it a try and see if it catches on.

ladybugpjb · October 2013

@CrashIntoMe1 - your evening sounds amazing. Thank you so much for sharing the link.

I've realized that 95% of our issues are because I need to be in control. I'm having a lot of trouble letting go of wanting things done a certain way, and I'm hoping that I can loosen up as DD gets a little bigger and I have attention to give him.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · October 2013

Kimbus22 said:

The worst is after he's tucked in and we're leaving and he jumps up and yells "Oh no! Ma! Da!" and he's got his arms up for a hug and is making kissy noises at us.. How the hell do you ignore that and walk out? Even when he's gotten hugs and kisses 15 times.

I got one (actually, two) of those, too. Honestly, I will usually go back for one quick kiss and tell them "Last one". Then as I walk out the room and they ask for more, I simply say that it's time for night-night.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · October 2013

My issue now is that DD2 has discovered the ONE thing that will get us back in her room: pee.

She will come out saying "pee pee". If she has a wet diaper (which is rare because this usually happens within minutes of putting her to bed), we change her. Otherwise, she asks to go on the potty. Then she just sits there, all smiles, like "oh yeah! got ya FOOLS!". I don't know how to deal with that, TBH.

JaysonandKristin · October 2013

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha said:
My issue now is that DD2 has discovered the ONE thing that will get us back in her room: pee.

She will come out saying "pee pee". If she has a wet diaper (which is rare because this usually happens within minutes of putting her to bed), we change her. Otherwise, she asks to go on the potty. Then she just sits there, all smiles, like "oh yeah! got ya FOOLS!". I don't know how to deal with that, TBH.

Otis is doing this too. We just deal with it. I'm not going to deny the toilet to a PTing toddler. If that makes me a sucker, I'll own it. ;P

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · October 2013

JaysonandKristin said:

My issue now is that DD2 has discovered the ONE thing that will get us back in her room: pee.

She will come out saying "pee pee". If she has a wet diaper (which is rare because this usually happens within minutes of putting her to bed), we change her. Otherwise, she asks to go on the potty. Then she just sits there, all smiles, like "oh yeah! got ya FOOLS!". I don't know how to deal with that, TBH.
Otis is doing this too. We just deal with it. I'm not going to deny the toilet to a PTing toddler. If that makes me a sucker, I'll own it. ;P

Yeah that's pretty much me, too.

I try to get her to go before bed. She doesn't always want to, but when she does, she has one less excuse to get up.

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