Oh DH, bless your heart...

MrMrsandBaby · October 2013

I'm on CD 2 after a very promising cycle last month. When DH asked if I tested, I told him no because my period started. Here is how the rest of that conversation went:

DH: Isn't spotting normal during pregnancy?

Me: DH, this isn't spotting.

DH: Isn't a period always spotting?

Me: No honey, it is a constant flow of blood.

DH: That is gross.

Me: Sorry, it sucks being a girl sometimes.

DH: So aren't there a lot of women who have periods and are still pregnant?

:::crickets:::

theninjapanda · October 2013

Awwww...LOL.

MMason12 · October 2013

Sounds a lot like my DH. lol

tealowl · October 2013

Ugh. This is why boys/girls need to have sex/puberty education every year, in the same room, together.

I did LOL at "That is gross."

S/O will sometimes get jokingly over dramatic when I mention I'm on AF to him (like, "OH MY GOD UUUGGGGHHHH TEAL").

Valancyy · October 2013

Thanks for the laugh.

Now I'm wondering what my husband thinks...

ksuRN09 · October 2013

Valancyy said:
Thanks for the laugh.
Now I'm wondering what my husband thinks...

Lol me too! I'm very curious

likeanoldtimemovie · October 2013

I remember a friend in high school asking me about periods. "How do you guys, you know, change your pad or whatever without blood getting all over you?"

"… I don't understand the question…"

"Like, aren't you just always covered in blood? Do you have to hover over the toilet when you do that stuff?"

"IT'S NOT A WATERFALL."

For years, I teased him if there was a bucket or basket around us. "Oh, I better grab that just in case I can't change my tampon fast enough."

Jmgresham22 · October 2013

This is hilarious!! Lol

Sorry about af!! I was like that too when she showed I was certain we had caught the egg.... Nope!!

Dh seems to think EVERY time I initiate sex it's to get pregnant now and I'm not NOPE was just horny thanks!! Nowhere near the right time!!

mak7788 · October 2013

likeanoldtimemovie said:

I remember a friend in high school asking me about periods. "How do you guys, you know, change your pad or whatever without blood getting all over you?"

"… I don't understand the question…"

"Like, aren't you just always covered in blood? Do you have to hover over the toilet when you do that stuff?"

"IT'S NOT A WATERFALL."

For years, I teased him if there was a bucket or basket around us. "Oh, I better grab that just in case I can't change my tampon fast enough."

That reminds me of an interaction I had with a male classmate in high school. I have no recollection of how it got to this but he asked me "well what do you do when you have a really long period?" I said "well what do you think is a long period?" He responded "well say you get it today, and it lasts allll the way into the next morning. What do you do?" I just laughed and said "I WISH that's only how long they lasted!" He was horrified to find out that periods can last over a week.

And OP, bless his heart indeed, but it's nice too that he's positive! :-)

Neighner20 · October 2013

This makes me think of when they interview little kids and ask them how to make Thanksgiving dinner or how a baby is made. At least here they print these in the newspaper sometimes. It is always funny. We should ask our DHs to detail how they think the process works and post it on here for some laughs. I don't know how many times I have said that I feel really tired or my boobs hurt etc and DH always asks if I'm pregnant. He knows I haven't ovulated yet, but he still asks this. I keep telling him that I have to ovulate first to even have a chance at being pregnant. And we need to actually have sex too!

MrMrsandBaby · October 2013

Neighner20 said:

This makes me think of when they interview little kids and ask them how to make Thanksgiving dinner or how a baby is made. At least here they print these in the newspaper sometimes. It is always funny. We should ask our DHs to detail how they think the process works and post it on here for some laughs. I don't know how many times I have said that I feel really tired or my boobs hurt etc and DH always asks if I'm pregnant. He knows I haven't ovulated yet, but he still asks this. I keep telling him that I have to ovulate first to even have a chance at being pregnant. And we need to actually have sex too!

Right! You would think the sex part, if nothing else, they would remember!

jlynnlavery · October 2013

Lol this is all so awesome! Today DH asked if I took my "balsamic temperature or whatever today"!

Twinkie0612 · October 2013

My husband is requesting that I put my legs up on some pillow tomorrow after our embryo transfer. I told him that doing that isn't going to help anything, it's not like the embryo is going to fall out. He is still insisting that I do it. I guess I'll humor him, but I hope he likes waiting on me hand and foot then.

vrj0522 · October 2013

Hahaha, this is too funny. And totally sounds like my DH. They are so clueless it's cute.

This was pretty ridiculous but when we first got married my DH asked me once if the baby comes out from the same place from where I pee. I almost died laughing (he really was very innocent) and had to give him a lesson on the female parts.

lovesmonkey · October 2013

TTC has taught me that DH has no idea how a female body works! I just have to laugh at him so I don't cry. Glad I am not alone. :-)

Lola825 · October 2013

While I think this is cute maybe I'm the only one whos husband has done as much research as they have. If we are in it together, we wanted to both understand what is going on. Especially after it started to look like it wouldn't happen right away, he wanted to learn more about it and make sure he was doing everything he could as well.

I don't give him exact details of the day I ovulate or what my temp is, but he knows why I take my temp and the general idea of when I ovulate and WHY that is important. I think I would go insane if he was totally clueless. Now if it was our first few months of trying thats a different story... he still knew what hole babies came out of though haha.

jenandtim828 · October 2013

This made me laugh. How do men make it so long in life thinking these things? I'm sorry for CD 2. It sucks!

Megs7911 · October 2013

@Neighner20 That reminds me of a movie I watched recently on Netflix called Conception. It tracks 6 or so couples on the night they conceive and interlaced throughout the story are clips of kids explaining where babies come from. I think that was the best part! Especially the little boy that said "from a truck!"

Sorry about CD2 @MrMrsandBaby, at least DH is "trying" to be supportive! At very least they are good for a chuckle when we just want to cry.

TRS48 · October 2013

OP- I'm sorry about CD2. Im on CD2 today too. It sucks.

And @jlynnlavery I laughed out loud reading your post. So needed that! Thanks!

samantha1477 · October 2013

Summerlovin314 said:

Mine lifts up me legs afterwards to keep everything from falling out. At this point, he knows better, but it keeps me from making a mess of the sheets!

Then how are you supposed to roll around in the wet spot???

MrsN6912 · October 2013

Linny+Dan12 said:
I had to explain to DH last night that we have to have sex before ovualtion. He thought the egg was released and then waited around for sperm until I had my period. When I explained that the egg only lasts like 24 hours and that's why I push for sex the days leading up to O, his mind was blown. Then he just sat there in bewilderment that people get pregnant as often as they do.
FFTC: I didn't really know that it was such a short window either until I started lurking here. $:\$ ">

My DH was the same. The first time I told him I should be ovulating soon he said "What is ovulating?"
I had to explain that It's only possible to get pregnant 1-2 days out of each month. He was shocked. He was under the impression that you could get pregnant on any given day. Then he wondered how in the heck people get pregnant on accident. Yea...don't we all!
I made him watch The Great Sperm Race after that conversation. Ha.

RoastyToasty · October 2013

Lol! These are so funny.

My poor DH is pretty squeamish about "lady stuff" but he does know what ovulation is and that there is only a limited fertile window. He was a trooper through everything last time around. I try to keep it to the cliff notes version for him though

rjeller32 · October 2013

DH over here thought if you go an entire month without sex, the semen will turn extremely potent, resulting in a far higher chance of conceiving when my fertile window rolls around. He also thinks this applies to the gender. Because super strong semen make men, of course.

I could only emulate silence.

fruitloop151 · October 2013

jlynnlavery I almost spit out my morning coffee laughing at this haha

tweetyknicks · October 2013

My DH is pretty on the ball with understanding how reproduction works. But that doesn't mean he thinks it's all normal.

He recently commented that it's so weird that my bbs can change by a cup size or so throughout my cycle. He thought he'd be weirded out if anything on him changed size that much. A couple of days later I pointed out that he has something that changes size much more proportionally and does so more frequently. It took him a minute or so to puzzle out what I was referring to, but then he decided somehow that that doesn't count :-P

dogperson11 · October 2013

I'm blessed to have a husband who has taken several biology classes recently. He still doesn't quite understand everything, but he's also not a fan of bodily fluids and calls AF being "sick" (ex, "are you still sick?" while motioning to my nether regions).

pudgybunny · October 2013

i am mostly happy my DH pretty much knows what is going on. I read TCOYF and started charting before we were married. We discussed it and decided together that it was best to avoid BC and know my body for TTA and TTC. I know it doesn't work for all but it has worked for us many years later with TTA. He seems to know when AF is coming before I do! It can be a bit freaky at times when I am saying I don't feel well and he will be all like, well AF should be showing up so maybe that is why. dang it, lol

Itsbritneybiitch · October 2013

funnibunni80 said:

Neighner20 said:

This makes me think of when they interview little kids and ask them how to make Thanksgiving dinner or how a baby is made. At least here they print these in the newspaper sometimes. It is always funny. We should ask our DHs to detail how they think the process works and post it on here for some laughs. I don't know how many times I have said that I feel really tired or my boobs hurt etc and DH always asks if I'm pregnant. He knows I haven't ovulated yet, but he still asks this. I keep telling him that I have to ovulate first to even have a chance at being pregnant. And we need to actually have sex too!

I'm down for this! I'll ask mine tonight. Anyone else game?

Totes! Making fun of DH on the internet is my favourite thing to do on a week night!!

ADH0906 · October 2013

JenDanKetcham said:

I'm blessed to have a husband who has taken several biology classes recently. He still doesn't quite understand everything, but he's also not a fan of bodily fluids and calls AF being "sick" (ex, "are you still sick?" while motioning to my nether regions).

DH does that too. He'll say "are you still...ya know... out?" and gesture.

Beyond some basic cycle information, I was pretty clueless until we started trying too. When I explained the FW to DH, he was dumbfounded and kept saying "So how the hell do so many accidental babies happen?!" I think sex ed fails on the education part but succeeds horribly into scaring kids into thinking that any time d meet v, you're going to get knocked up immediately. It sucks.

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