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One and Done?? Deciding to Have a Second Baby

meredygwmeredygw member
in Multiples
I need help. I am about to turn 29 and have a 2 year old. He is my life! I adore him so much! I am struggling in trying to decide to have another baby and/or when. 
My husband wants to have another baby but not anytime soon. As a woman getting close to turning 30, I would rather have one sooner than later. 
How does one decide whether to have another baby!? It is such a HUGE decision. The decision to have one was an easy one, and the when was made even easier because he was a surprise. Now the decision of whether to have another is looming and huge! 
I adore my son and part of me would LOVE to have another baby...but there's so much to consider! I love getting to devote my time to my son and worry about having to divide up my time, and all the things I will potentially miss with him. There's the fact that we live in a small 3 bedroom in the country, with no chance of ever moving and probably not ever building, so our house would be FULL if we had another. I adore my husband but he was not as much help as I needed with my son, since he owns his own business and we have farm animals to take care of, so I already know having another will be tough and I probably won't have as much help as I need.
As an only child, I always had friends around, but now that i'm older, I envy my friends with siblings and their relationships. 
Taking all that into consideration...how does one make this huge decision?
I would love to hear any tips or stories of how you made the decision.
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Re: One and Done?? Deciding to Have a Second Baby

  • BabyCarryingVesselBabyCarryingVessel member
    Hehe! I'm laughing a little because this board is for parents of twins, triplets and more :) So no one on this board has been "one and done", but I can see where the term multiples could be confusing!

    I'll weigh in! Maybe the thought of a second child seems scarier than it actually is. If ya want a total stranger's opinion, I say go for it! Wait a while if you think it would help, you're no where near advanced maternal age yet. Love is never divided, it only multiplies. You have third bedroom, plus farm life is a great way to raise children ;).

     

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  • meredygwmeredygw member
    edited October 2013
    Thank you BabyCarryingVessel! I couldn't decide on which message board to use LOL 
    :-?
    I guess I thought that mom's of multiples could help me more, haha. 
    I appreciate your sweet answer :)
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  • meredygwmeredygw member
    edited October 2013
    X_X Well I can't figure out how to delete or move my post. 
    Sorry Multiples Moms.   8-}
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  • Missi576Missi576 member
    I was the third child in the family and due to being five years behind my closest sibling and feeling so distant from them, I had my two singletons 18 months apart.  (We were aiming for 2 years.. oops?) 

    Honestly, I say go for it.  Love isn't divided, and learning to not have all the attention can be good for a child.  Learning to help with another and love a sibling is also good in my honest opinion.  Plus, I absolutely LOVE watching my girls grow up together.  As hard as this pregnancy has been so far (and I am TERRIFIED of getting further along with a twins pregnancy ><), I am so glad I'm expecting two because they will have each other for life.  Even if they don't get along (which I don't with my siblings), I know they are there, and we do still sorta support each other :)

    Others are correct, this is 100% between your hubby and you, but a home packed full of love doesn't feel squished :)   We live in a small three bedroom apartment with a roommate in the third bedroom to help make ends meet.  The girls share a bedroom, and I hate to say it, but we aren't going to get to move to a larger place, so the twins will probably share with the girls for a few years.. it will work :)
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  • Missi576Missi576 member
    P.S.  you found one of the nicest boards I've seen so far here ( or other pregnancy forums ) so don't feel bad about the question :)  The ladies here definitely know what it is like to have more than one!
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  • meredygwmeredygw member

    Missi576 thank you for your response and you are definitely right! I am so glad I didn't get blasted for misinterpreting "multiples" Lol! Maybe I was drawn to it because my mom is a twin, maybe this a foretelling of my future...eeek, second child = second and third!

    I agree you are all right. I am fighting over this in my own head and heart...where my husband is happy in the spot where we are now... I'd rather not have a 5 year old and then try to have a baby. I hoped my kids would be closer together in age...but then again I am happy where we are too. Sigh, TOUGH decision!!

     

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