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Wanting Some Backup

rexgirl06rexgirl06 member
in Baby Showers
I am a FTM and older sister(s)/sister in laws who are more than ready to throw me a shower. I'm not due until February so I haven't even talked about that stuff with my sisters. However, my mom asked me today how I felt about having my shower over Christmas break because my sister will be in town from New York and has already bought baby shower invitations and a few supplies. I love my sister, and I want her to feel included, but I feel like Christmas is just a bad time to do a shower. Too much going on for everyone. And most of the friends I have are likely to be out of town visiting their own families. Is it wrong of me to want a shower when I'll actually have my few local friends/co-workers there? It's not that I want a ton of people there, but I'm afraid doing a baby shower say Dec. 28th will be me, my mom, sister and the 2 old ladies who live in the neighborhood you know? I feel bad...I want to include my sister, but if a shower is kind of about me, should I be able to pick a date where I will have more people to celebrate with rather than just immediate family who feel obligated to come? I feel torn...
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Re: Wanting Some Backup

  • Islandgirl1129Islandgirl1129 member
    A shower is a gift so you don't get to pick the date. However, a baby shower is a lot to ask of guests financially over the holidays and maybe be perceived as tacky. Also people have a lot of commitments at that time.
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    All I can recommend is to tell your mom your concerns - you're not sure who will actually be in town AND you feel uncomfortable asking people to add this to their list of things to do during a busy and expensive time period. 

    To me, it seems silly to schedule this for ONE person to attend if that means 5 others can't.  Maybe find a more gentle way to say that... ;) 

    However, let me ask this -you have SILs who want to throw a shower too?  If so, maybe let your mom and sister throw a small family shower and then ask your SIL if they'd be willing to throw a shower (if this has actually been offered!) a little later in January that you can invite your friends too.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • theimpossibleastronauttheimpossibleastronaut member
    I had a February baby this year. I'm from another state, so my mom did the OOT shower at the beginning of December. DH's family threw one for us in January. So, we avoided the holidays as best we could. I say talk to them about your concerns. GL
    Lilypie - (KNqh)
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  • rexgirl06rexgirl06 member
    I think that's what we're going to do. Just family/close family friends and keep it simple and low key. Then do a larger friend circle/co workers one in January. My sister in law offered to do a shower so I might take her up on that one and hope it does good things for our relationship. :) I don't want to be a "shower brat"...it was just unexpected. I guess when my mom asked "would it be awkward", she really meant "this is not ideal but you're doing it". 
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