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November 2013 Moms
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I'm venting!

ElreidElreid member
in November 2013 Moms
Background-So yesterday I went to my SO's little brothers football banquet. I was so excited to go because it was being catered by one of my favorite restaurants. So we sit down, go through speeches and eat. Then all of the sudden I get contractions...hard and fast ones, so I go to the bathroom and get some fresh air. The contractions eventually stopped, but they wear you out!!
Problem-My SO's family comes over after to look at the baby room...they commented on how we didn't match the paint and other things to the crib that they bought us. (We picked out a crib, but his parents went against our wishes and bought the cheapest one they could find, so that's why things don't match). She then goes on to make comments about how I will get the "crazies" (ppd) just because she did and it runs in the family and I need to talk to her about how to handle it. Uhhh ok? Fine, but I'm not genetically related to you...and I didn't think it was genetic? (Mind you, she's going through a mid life crisis right now after her divorce and doesn't realize she has depression while everyone else can see it). Then later that evening she had another anxiety attack. (This is normal for her) and she calls 4 people at midnight to come out to her house and take her to the hospital. She has no insurance and expects people to make her the center of attention. I had to get my tired ass up at midnight, sleep from about 4-6:30 and then get up and take her kids to school because they missed the bus. I swear I'm about to TP this woman to the moon.
I need to it down with her and tell her to get her shit together!

Thanks for letting me vent. I needed to get that out there. Feel free to tell me how much of a heartless bitch I'm being, but at 8 1/2 months pregnant I really don't have the time for all of her stupid bullshit.
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Re: I'm venting!

  • 3Dewdrops3Dewdrops member
    I hope someone can convince her to get treatment for the depression.  There's no reason she just suffer through it...and make everyone else suffer as well!
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  • dobrydneydobrydney member
    I don't think you're being heartless or a bitch.  From what you said it sounds like she is just wanting the attention focused on her.  Maybe she's jealous since you're getting close to d-day.  It sounds like you handled it well and like she has issues that run a lot deeper!  Vent away, but I'd probably just let it roll off.
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  • ElreidElreid member
    edited October 2013
    I have suffered with depression my whole life, and I know how easy it is to get help!!! I know I am at risk for ppd and I have talked to my dr and counselor about it. They are both very prepared to help when I tell them that I think I have it. (If that even happens) she just needs to get her life together and we are all willing to help, but she won't accept any of it. So frustrating.
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  • ATXMamaDollATXMamaDoll member
    I may have totally missed this even though I looked back over your paragraphs, but who are you referring to? SO's mom, sister, etc....?

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  • ElreidElreid member
    This is my SO's mom, sorry if I forgot that :)
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  • cagoldicagoldi member
    Your MIL sounds a lot like mine. She has done exactly the same thing as far as calling people at all hours to come over to her house for an 'emergency.' Once everyone gets there to coddle her everything is fine and she can't remember what the emergency is.

    It will only get worse if you cater to her. She quit doing this with DH and I because I finally told her she really upsets me when she does that and it makes me resentful, and that I don't like to spend any time with her anymore because of it. I told her I know what she is up to with these antics and she can't manipulate us in that manner anymore.

    Problem solved. She hasn't acted up since we had that discussion...
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  • ElreidElreid member
    @cagoldi- I WILL be having a talk with her as soon as possible. (On a good day when I'm not crabby) Thanks for the advice!
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  • SweetLaura286SweetLaura286 member
    Oh yeah because you have NOTHING going on in your own life. You were very kind to bring her children to school.. But when your little guy comes home you are going to have to tell her "sorry, no." At least for a little while. I hope she's not expecting you to be able to do it! I have a friend who relies on me a lot and I have already had to let her know I won't be able to do that kind of thing.

    As for the PPD thing.. Easier said than done but just roll your eyes at her and try not to take it to heart. You may or may not end up with it but it has nothing to do with her if you do or you don't. Nor is it your fault or a bad thing. You sound like you have a good handle on things in that department. Seriously it sounds like she is projecting her own issues on you. If you do need help.. You will get help and be a great mommy.

    Vent away any time, and hopefully you can take a nap!!
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  • EdvoncupacakeEdvoncupacake member
    I don't think you're being heartless AT ALL. I quit rescuing my mom a couple of years ago because I couldn't take her shit anymore. I tell her to get over it now. She digs herself holes and throws herself into them. But she wants you to know that she's doing it for you(??). Don't even get me started about what she'll do when, OMG, there is attention on you. Definitely sit down and tell her what she's doing to you. She probably doesn't even see it. It may or may not help, but at least it's out there.

    I love my mom, and she does some good stuff. But we will never be close because those traits of hers and my personality will never get along.
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  • ElreidElreid member
    Edvoncupacake said:

    I don't think you're being heartless AT ALL. I quit rescuing my mom a couple of years ago because I couldn't take her shit anymore. I tell her to get over it now. She digs herself holes and throws herself into them. But she wants you to know that she's doing it for you(??). Don't even get me started about what she'll do when, OMG, there is attention on you. Definitely sit down and tell her what she's doing to you. She probably doesn't even see it. It may or may not help, but at least it's out there.


    I love my mom, and she does some good stuff. But we will never be close because those traits of hers and my personality will never get along.
    Please enlighten me as to what it is going to be like when I go to the hospital to have this baby? I have finally decided that simply because I don't want her there that we will not be calling any family members until the baby is here and we have had our bonding time. I do not know how she is going to act, but I feel like she will be the type that won't leave the room. An that will STRESS me out...that will be the last thing I need when I'm busy pushing a baby out. It sucks...I wish I could invite my dad and have him there, but we don't want to be rude.
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